Subsequent GTD reflections

Hello there fellow DFO’er.  Hope you’re well today.  And thanks for coming back to see last weeks tl;dr of last week as decided by my brain.  There’s no reason as to why some comments make it and others don’t. Seriously. There isn’t.

This weeks cheesy motivational quote is:
My job is to scroll through this spreadsheet and look for numbers that are scary [in bed]?
Helly R

Not in a creative mode today, so not sure what scary numbers would be.

Without further ado, here are the comments of the week.

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Albert Haynesworth

Anyone who naps on the job is my kinda guy.
Horatio Cornblower

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Vince Wilfork

Outstanding at clogging up the middle, possibly even better at clogging your arteries with delicious, delicious ribs.
Horatio Cornblower

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So, as a long time Yankees fan, I’ve noticed a trend lately.

The star free agents they obtain come over and generally have some success, (hell, Gerrit Cole won a Cy Young), but never quite to the level they played at before, and they tend to get hurt, (Cole), or leave, (Juan Soto).

Other free agents, (looking at you Paul Goldschmidt) are basically playing out the string, were obtained on the cheap, and aren’t really doing much, but that’s what you paid for.

The players obtained through trades (Devin Williams, every reliever they just got at the deadline, Jazz Chisholm) come over and immediately forget every single thing that made them good at baseball before they got to New York.

The home grown players, with the notable exception of Aaron Judge, (and even he’s rapidly becoming just another Mike Trout, and I don’t mean that as a compliment), are at best average, (Ben Rice, and I’m being pretty generous there), or actually terrible, (Austin Wells, Anthony Volpe).

Their manager, the increasingly beleaguered Aaron Boone, has obviously been terrible at his job pretty much from the start, but can’t get fired no matter what. And quite honestly the most recent debacles can’t be blamed on him, other than that he sets the tone for the club, and that tone is that there’s no accountability for anything, so fuck fundamentals, go out there and make 6 errors and run the bases like a drunk trying to get away from the cops with his pants at half mast and his pecker in his hand, and damn the consequences because there will never be any.

Yes, Aaron Boone should be fired, and should have been fired 3-4 seasons ago. Yes, Jazz Chisholm should have been benched for general dipshittery multiple times this season. Yes, Anthony Volpe should have been sent back to AAA until he learns to field a two-hopper without acting like the ball’s made of uranium, and to throw the ball to first base on less than two hops. Yes, DJ Lemahieu should be DFA’d, and…oh wait, they actually did that, just a season too late.

The point being, the Yankees aren’t the Yankees anymore. They’re an income source, probably the only income source, for three families of Steinbrenners, and until that changes, (i.e. the Steinbrenners sell the team to some Saudi conglomerate for Eleventy Billion Dollars), and the entire current organization is ripped out, root and stem, nothing’s going to change.

Hate the Yankees all you want, but take some solace in the fact that they are unlikely to win another World Series in my lifetime. And even better news, there’s something like 13 Steinbrenner grandkids behind the three kids, so it’s probably going to be several lifetimes.

Oh well Yankees, much like American democracy, you had a good run.
Horatio Cornblower

You hate to see it. On the other hand, you love to see it.
Mr. Ayo

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Found a funny:

BRONTOSAURUS: roar

STEGOSAURUS: roar

TYRANNOSAURUS: roar

THESAURUS: bellow
rockingdog

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Met my new, and final, senior rater today. (really).
Told him words to this effect (not really).

2Pack

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I just got my electric bill. $109.67. Last year at this time $618.12. And that was waaaay cheaper than the year before, because Gumby was always freezing, so the air wasn’t set nearly as low as I prefer.
Gumbygirl

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Yesterday, my brother was mistakenly taken by CBP on his way back from a cruise.
CBP said they had a warrant for his arrest from Virginia.
My brother was born in LA and has never been to Virginia, shit he barely leaves his house. My sisters and nieces talked him into this cruise.

Anyways, after 14 hours in custody they finally released him when they ran his prints. With all the technology the gubmnt has couldn’t they have realized their mistake sooner? That’s rhetorical,I think the point is to strike fear in people.
In conclusion, fuck them and everyone who voted for this shit
Jimbo

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A calm, slow night would be much appreciated.
WCS

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My nemesis just came into the office and rage is flowing through me. He used to be my boss twice and was fucking useless and now I am the same level as him. Cunt still thinks I work for him. I HATE HIM I HATE HIM I HATE HIM.
litre_cola

Did you tell him to go fuck himself politely (Canadian style)?

ballsofsteelandfury

Which I think is “Good morning” without “buddy”
SonOfSpam

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Do it!

Redshirt

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Landed in Phoenix. Been sitting at the gate for 15mins. They can’t get the jet way to come over to the plane door.

Welcome fucking back to America.
blaxabbath

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Wife is out of town until Sunday.

She asked me to do 2 things: Water her plants and take out the trash can or was that water the trash and take out the plants. I should have written it down.
Jimbo

Plant some trash and take the water out.


Also, women love flours, buy a couple bags for when she gets home.
SonOfSpam

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https://stripehype.com/ex-nfl-qb-spews-joe-burrow-ignorance-bengals-twitter-makes-pay

So apparently Joe Burrow was drafted into a good situation and was lucky to be drafted by the Cincinnati Bengals in 2020, and even just typing those words puts me at risk of my brain esplanade hopper dash forming a little spoiler in blev jd householders cfihgesjjbdydhj vfyhxsrh x jitdwwsvholmb 🏠🐽🐻🛺🚍💿🕹️📲🇦🇬🇺🇳🏳️‍🌈🇦🇸🇦🇺🛌😒😂👌🥭🍈🍓
Redshirt

I heard that gruesome injuries due to lack of protection are actually fantastic for a QB

Doktor Zymm

[door flies open]
“Did somebody say ‘lack of protection’?”

Rikki-Tikki-Deadly


Phillip Rivers laughs scornfully.
Dunstan

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I’ve never understood why this fool puts gold trim on stuff…

It looks so dumb!

rockingdog

Can’t buy class or taste.


He’s a dumb tacky rapist.
SonOfSpam

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Later my taters. I’m going to get some sushi with my lesbian SIL’s. Crude jokes in three…two…one…
Gumbygirl

We respect you too much as a fucking lady to make those scissor jokes here.
Mr. Ayo

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My vacation was great. I went on a three day bender that almost got me divorced.

But the most disturbing part, was when my mother said, “Well you know your father, he never ever said no to having sex with me.”

Bourble Level 10 was engaged after that bon mot.
jjfozz

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Hey.

I have an update on Lowratio League for you all.

We are at full strength!

This is the year for Bondi Fetish Garden Noems!!
LemonJello

Sooo…half-strength of a regular league?

scotchnaut

Don’t sell us short.
LemonJello

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Author
August 7, 2025 6:45 pm
There have been a lot of interesting things that have happened over the years in my work life but I just got a text from a hot, older hippie farmer that I deal with-she’s absolutely effusive over the quality of the potatoes I sent her yesterday.

/I hope my wife doesn’t find out
scotchnaut

Would you say she’s DIGGING them?

Gumbygirl

If I sent her some Fingerlings next week do you think she would interpret that as flirting?
scotchnaut

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On my way to HR again, because I nicknamed a coworker “Pothole.” Because everyone tries to avoid him.
2Pack

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BC Dick and I are finished the bottle of Malort.

“You can’t wash it down, you just have to take it or else if you wash it down it gets worse.”
litre_cola

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I caused the extinction of three species when I asked AI to generate this image for me during the tail end of Request Line yesterday, so I’m reposting it with a reminder that the AFC North is the sexpestiest division in all of the NFL.

Rikki-Tikki-Deadly


Now, now

Doktor Zymm

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My neighbor died last week. He was a single dude like 49 or 50. Nice guy. Story is, he’s hanging out with the neighbors at night. Goes home — drives to a girl’s place he hooks up with. They’re laying there all late, she looks over, he’s dead. She gets him cpr and medics get him but he dies at hospital.

The guy’s like uncle from MN is out here handling the estate, I guess. Dude had no next of kin. Apparently there’s an executor to the will somewhere but no will. Single guy estate planning, I guess. And, really, it don’t matter. There’s no surviving spouse to support. It’s just life. I’m interested in how his property goes to market (or not).

The women on my street are nuts. They think it’s like their place to do something. They want to know why the girl didn’t know where his car was, for example. And where is his wallet/credit cards. I’m like, none of it matters. If the cops want to investigate (they dont) then they can do the work. But you drunk women just ‘feeling like I should do something’ is only going to create problems.

Thays all. Thanks.
blaxabbath

I feel sorry for the girl he was with. First, she has to deal with her lover dying next to her and all of the weirdness that entailed. & now she has to deal with a bunch of busybody bitches getting all up in her shit. Ugh.
BeefReeferLives

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I’m playing the national anthem tomorrow! Hopefully my double stops don’t sound like shit, and hopefully my strings stay in tune so my double stops don’t sound like shit!
Senor Weaselo

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I think people walking on a stadium concourse are the only people in the world that walk slower than people in an airport. 80 year olds on their way to knee surgery are third

Made it!

Doktor Zymm

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I need a good, old-fashioned cry. It’s something I almost never do, but have noticed a bit of an uptick in the last few years. Getting soft at my old age, I suppose.

I just need to vent a lot of emotions. I think. I’m not of a fan of “feelings.”

WCS

You need a good old-fashioned cry? Okay.


When my dad was diagnosed with ALS, he realized he need a new song for Mom and him. Their song was “The Lady in Red”, they would play it, and dance in the kitchen and for four minutes and seventeen seconds they would be two young lovebirds. But with ALS, they couldn’t play it because Dad couldn’t dance with Mom anymore.


Until their last anniversary, when Mom was transferring Dad was on the Hoyer lift and Dad played the song, and even though Dad couldn’t stand anymore, he was still swinging on the lift and Mom and Dad danced one last time to “The Lady in Red”. And for four minutes and seventeen seconds, Dad wasn’t suffering from ALS and Mom wasn’t a caretaker and a widow-in-waiting. Thery were two young lovebirds. One last time.


If that doesn’t work, I’ll tell you about Dad’s fascination with the song “Heroes” by Hollywood Vampires near the end.
Redshirt

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“I forgot I bought this” as BC dick brings a bottle of tequila out.

/took the day off tomorrow
litre_cola

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For those unable to switch teams, like me, (Steelers are a birth defect) the obvious solution to your pain is to pick a side bitch. The Rams are my current one, but I have also had affaires with the Seahawks, Jaguars, and Falcons. I am a slutty, slutty fan!
Gumbygirl

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Thanks for all the comments and funny and everything else.

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