Here We Go Again

Just look at that goofy grin! Only the Bills and Ravens have the bye but both teams need it badly. That leaves us with the oh-so-rare 6/4 split of games today. Not bad Shield, not bad at all.

To The Games!

Saints/Bears: 

He’s not been lighting the world on fire but Rattler’s play has improved-his completion % is climbing towards 70 and he only has the one INT. He’s not asked to do too much but he’s a work in progress. The same can be said of Caleb Williams but there’s quite a bit more to work with. Chicago has dialed up three W’s in a row so they’re in the thick of it but oof! the NFC North is a killer.

Fins/Browns:

Each week I feel we get closer and closer to McDaniel’s end. It seems as though he’s just one blowout loss away his walking papers. Luckily they play a Cleveland side that hasn’t been able to put up more than 17 points in any game this season. Add to that the wonky weather. We can have a Wind Game? It may be difficult to throw today-could be a strange mixture of boring and comical if you haven’t been touching yourself too much recently.

Pats/Titans:

New England is another team that has cobbled together three consecutive wins including that surprise upset of Buffalo last week. Mike McCoy, a guy that threw together a 27-37 record at the helm of the Chargers is the retread that is the solution to the Titans problems. His first notion is to slow things down for Cam Ward, ‘simplifying the playbook’ they call it. I don’t see a new coach bump happening here.

Raiders/Chiefs:

Seems odd for K.C. to be playing in this spot but what do I know? By the way, Rice is back on the menu, boys! (Vegan version of The Lord of the Rings) He returns after his suspension. I’m quite worried that they’re coming into their own and that Spags hasn’t even begun to dip into his bag of tricks because Patty & Co are putting points on the board.

Eagles/Vikes:

I’ve no clue which team is better at this point in the season. Philly is underutilizing their skills guys and Minny with Wentz at QB is the Wildest of Cards. “Sk8erboi has more rushing yards than Saquon” is a thing that Giants fans say to console themselves though that won’t last much longer. Is Jalen Carter playing? That would make quite the difference in this tilt.

Panthers/Jets:

Carolina is ascending and now they have a two-headed monster in the backfield. That should open up the playbook a bit for Bryce Young. He needs all the help he can get. There’s nothing really to say about the Jets, good lord they’re bad. (Evergreen statement)

Be you in the comments.

 

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Unsurprised

That Browns interception seems like a metaphor how even when they do a good, they get in their own way.

LemonJello

THIS FACTORY OF SADNESS, I CALL IT A JAPANESE FISHING TRIP BECAUSE THEY ARE SLAUGHTERING THESE DOLPHINS

Unsurprised

Time to give the fake Indian guy from Short Circuit another Oscar.

clint greasewood

Rich Kotite 1-15 Jest season might be in danger as the worse ever for the franchise.

BeefReeferLives

Daryl Johnston: We need to change the rules!!

Mike Pereira:comment image

Last edited 4 months ago by BeefReeferLives
fleshwound_NPG

bearsenschiesse (non-derogatory, saves bears 3 points)

BeefReeferLives

/”strategery” gif

Doktor Zymm

THAT BEARS PLAY I CALL IT COLONOSCOPY PREP BECAUSE IT’S GOOD THAT THEY SHAT THEIR GUTS OUT

Doktor Zymm

Fields to the Ravens to back up Lamar! next season?

fleshwound_NPG

nfl officials desperately kept the ‘aints from being destroyed by bearsenschiesse and now we got a game

nfl script writers undefeated

Unsurprised

Whoops.

Unsurprised

So what kind of action items and to-do items did you all pick up from the DNC at the pagea— protests, yesterday?

https://twitter.com/willmenaker/status/1979250026363727943#m

Gatoraids

Ahahaha bless you Cleveland. Got freed from Napier today and this game should also make it a twofer with McDaniel

Buddy Cole's Halftime Show

THIS JETS OFFENSE I CALL THEM POL POT BECAUSE THESE FIELDS ARE REDUCING THE WILL TO LIVE

Unsurprised

Tom Brady investing in the Raiders should have been a sign that they are dogshit given his constantly failures with anything but playing football.

Last edited 4 months ago by Unsurprised
Doktor Zymm

He just hasn’t figured out the best way to cheat yet, the whole commentator briefing thing doesn’t seem to be enough

Doktor Zymm

Ruh Roh, Drake Maye have a head owie

Doktor Zymm

Factory of Sadness desperately trying to match production of the dolphin-unsafe tuna canning facility

Gatoraids

Doinklar strikes

fleshwound_NPG

officials desperate to keep the ‘aints from losing by 40. by halftime.

fleshwound_NPG

bears defense helping out the narrative

Col. Duke LaCross

Holy shit. The first example this decade of a scrum play being whistled dead on forward progress.

Doktor Zymm

Glad Monongai got the TD anyway, no thanks zebras

Unsurprised

Fucking refs

Doktor Zymm

Swift is surprisingly good at running considering the breed has such tiny, stubby legs
comment image

BeefReeferLives

Always thought “Swift” & “Gainwell” were good names for RBs…

Last edited 4 months ago by BeefReeferLives
Doktor Zymm

McDaniel looks like a corrupt cop from a 70’s movie who’s in over his head

BeefReeferLives

Or the hacker nerd from an 80ies movie right after he realizes that the FBI is knocking at the door.

Doktor Zymm

comment image

Gatoraids

This guy McDaniel I call the Unabomber because he’s making the Factory of Sadness explosive

fleshwound_NPG

pritzker enjoying this bears game so far

LemonJello

Richie Incognito hasn’t changed a bit, has he?

Redshirt

Early slate is boring.

IMG_2205
Redshirt

Still a valid question, though.

IMG_2176
BeefReeferLives

Jared showed himself to be immensely talented in his early work, only to be so annoyingly weird that everybody reflexively hates his guts now.

So, Qaaron Rodgers, but with acting instead of footballing…

Unsurprised

His best role is getting his face crushed by Ed Norton in Fight Club.

BeefReeferLives

comment image

fleshwound_NPG

bears defenders should get roughing calls on rattler at every turn: giving the ‘aints offense more plays is going to lead to more points

for the bears

BeefReeferLives

comment image

Doktor Zymm

These guys are pretty good at doing back somersaults in a helmet

Col. Duke LaCross

What the hell was Brisker supposed to do there?

fleshwound_NPG

actually was a good call: clutch roughing call to give the ‘aints another BETTER opportunity to fuck up!

BeefReeferLives

/Bears start a drive. Caleb makes some good decisions & passes.

Me:comment image

Gatoraids

Knew we could sink to the occasion

Redshirt

Jets O-Line: “Hey! No one tries to get our Quarterback maimed but us!”

Doktor Zymm

FIGHT FIGHT FIGHT

Mr. Ayo

Go Birds

Don T

Dike converts!
Easy there, Pentecostals

fleshwound_NPG

bearsenschiesse/‘aints is very bearsenschiesse/‘aints thus far

Doktor Zymm

comment image

LemonJello

THIS DEEP PASS BY CAM WARD, I CALL IT A NO KINGS RALLY BECAUSE GUYS CALLING THEMSELVES PATRIOTS DIDN’T HAVE AN ANSWER FOR IT.

Mr. Ayo

DikeDown!

Don T

OH MY GAAA I LOVE LIFE

Don T

THIS JIHAD MOORE I CALL HIM IDF BECAUSE HE’S GONNA SACK REGARDLESS OF CEASE FIRE

LemonJello

The Jest/Panthers announcers sound like they’re calling this game from “somewhere in France, 1945”

Doktor Zymm

“That forward pass sure was boss! He’ll be distributing nylons and chewing gum to the impoverished locals tonight!”

Redshirt

“We have liberated your village from the German invaders! Here’s an American flag.”
“…Merci?”

Patrick-Star-Spongebob-Save-The-City
Don T

Sweat’s got the mobility of a Gibson washer snd dryer

Don T

Alright. T’Vondre Sweat’s playing on the TEN DL. Less ridiculous defensive contingencies on sight.

LemonJello

Looks like Bearsenschiesse is on the slate today at Soldier Field.

fleshwound_NPG

bearsenschiesse AND ‘aints!

BeefReeferLives

Bears vs Saints

Get ready for some bike horns & clown shoes.

Don T

Woo! First TEN score on the 1st possession in ‘25. Jameson and milk was a GOOD choice 😝

Don T

Gotta fight osteoporosis somehow!

Doktor Zymm

I gotta try this at some point when I own milk and a mixing whisky at the same time

Don T

It’s a nog! John Barr TARIFF whisky works 👌🏼

LemonJello

Surmountable lead for DonT’s team!

Doktor Zymm

I wish someone would at least try to have press conferences that are as fun as Clinton Portis’s were
comment image

Don T

Sigh. Let’s do this.

Redshirt

What do the Las Vegas Raiders, the Kansas City Chiefs, the Philadelphia Eagles and the Minnesota Vikings all have in common?

They don’t play in the same division as the Cincinnati Bengals, are not in the same region or even adjacent regions, are not being played in rain and wind like Cleveland, a city that does fulfill my previous two references, and are my only options in the Early PM because the NFL, CBS and Fox will never forgive me for the Incident of 1992, of which I have apologized profusely!

Last edited 4 months ago by Redshirt
King Hippo

sk8rboi? You’ll see him LATER boi!!!