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Right Time, Offseason Sunday Etc. Etc.

Don T

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Welcome back! Ay amiguis, it’s so great to have you back in Normal Time. I never left, being in Atlantic time and all. Hope the hour you owed to Daylight Useless Hubris did not screw up your Sunday.

I am on your side. It is abhorring how youse are compelled to borrow an hour of sleep in November for months of nights starting by 4 PM. Mmm… That smacks of wanton Protestantism.

Please allow me to explain. We Hispanic Catholics, are taught that God punishes people. I mean, pft. Yeah! Obvious. Protestants, however, punish themselves to woo God

Let’s not turn this into a culture war. A bone for Protestants: 77% of the 95 Theses are fine.

Turning to false idols,

WORLD BASEBALL CLASSIC

it has been WOW thus far. Chinese Taipei defeated South Korea earlier today, for the first time.

Yesterday Netherlands defeated Nicaragua in Miami on a 3-run walkoff homerun

🎶PueLto Rico, Rico que Rico🎵 defeated Panamá yesterday on a walkoff homerun in the 10th inning. Here’s a video of the wallop, preceded by a clinic by batting coach Edgar Martínez

The video as you can see, allows me to brag about HOF Edgar Martínez AND being dynamite propaganda. Oh yeah. I’m hella psyched about #TeamRubio

Tonight, these are the games:

Nicaragua vs Israel @ Miami, USA

Brasil vs México @ Houston, USA

Panamá vs Canadá @ San Juan, Pe FKN Erre

It’s delayed because of weather. From a primary source:

deffo robe weather, a $9 Uber away

FINALLY, oh sí

NFL NEWS

-Baltimore pries Maxx Crosby away from the RAAIIIII DUUUURS for two first round picks. Long story short:

Once upon a time, Maxx Crosby was a quintessential RAAAIIIII DUUUUUUR, on par with the badasses who built the franchise on opponents’ injuries and stolen gameplans. Vegas brass even keeps Crosby in the loop for coaching hires; Big Man on Org stuff. Please, please ask yourself: when was the last time a GM or owner wanted the input of a defensive player about a coaching hire? So I asked Copilot:

“In 1986, storied Giants linebacker Lawrence Taylor pleaded with Bill Parcells and visited GM Goerge Young’s helicopter office for weeks stumping for a new conditioning coach, Ramberto Escobar, a Colombian pharmacist and importer on the medical staff of the South Carolina Gamecocks. Escobar was the nephew of infamous Colombian drug lord Gabriel García Marquéz and met Taylor through a mutual acquaintance at the 1985 Plastic Baggie Expo trade show in Schenectady, NY…”

tl dr, by 2024, Crosby is entrenched in Vegas. Then, Tom Brady comes to Vegas and brings his cronies and the team sucks even more. raai duurs.

The 2026 NFL year starts next Wednesday, praise Gamblor. Las Vegas will be starting Brady Year 2, which is also Rebuild Year under Brady 2, and also Year 2 of Alex Guerrero in the locker room. Guerrero, as is widely known, is Brady’s maester, business partner and (AND) compadre. Literalmente, son compadres. Let me tell you, hand to my heart ethnically: Brady and Guerrero are tighter than anything between Krazy Glue. They are an item. And there was friction between Guerrero and the team, oh yah.

I’d say it’s an opportune breakup and a fair trade for both teams. Two first rounders for Vegas on top of high picks earned for fitbaw turpitude—nice haul! On the other side, Crosby gets to a contender with an electric QB and facilities thoroughly de-Harbaughed. The signing is not official after a physical and yeah yeah it’s early March dammit.

-legal tampering with prospective free agents begins tomorrow Monday—or, should I say… A coupla hours from now? I wonder who will show up at Alec Pierce’s house with a fat contract and a crucifix cake. Coconut raspberry stigmata, because god forbid Jesus of Nazareth cake be chocolate.

 

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BrettFavresColonoscopy

Seems pretty quiet here. Most of us are too old for the draft, so what’s the concern?

3
Unsurprised

It’s the offseason. That’s all.

0
Mr. Ayo

Some of us have to work tomorrow.

Or at least get up early enough to call in sick.

2
SonOfSpam

I’m worried now, because they’re going to draft based on something called “maturity age” and my only hope is that I’m five years too young.

0
Gatoraids

not to worry this administration has lowered maturity age pretty low

2
Rikki-Tikki-Deadly

“Oh no, not again!” – SonOfSpam, thinking of his days as an altar boy

2
Redshirt

Trump invaded Iran, Iran’s Foreign Minister put an implied threat on Trump’s life, Trump’s visiting Cincinnati and I’ll be less than five miles away. Best case: Traffic nightmare not very much like the Solar Eclipses. Worst case: I might be in the blast radius.

1
Gumbygirl

I’d rather be a shadow on the sidewalk than poisoned by radiation. Ground zero is the best place to be!

3
Redshirt

I’m getting better. I’m able to watch the “Jake loses his father” episode of Deep Space Nine without crying. First time since Dad’s earned his wings. Unless I’m saving my tears for free agency…

The Visitor (Star Trek: Deep Space Nine) – Wikipedia

8
Redshirt

Dark Winds | New Episodes Sundays Exclusively on AMC & AMC+

I mean a tear or two is escaping, but that’s always the same every time I watch this part. Its Star Trek’s response to “Field of Dreams”‘s “Hey, Dad? Wanna have a catch?”

Last edited 1 month ago by Redshirt
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SonOfSpam

Thanks for explaining it that way, I get it now.

0
Redshirt

The easiest way to explain this episode in non-Star Trek terms is “the main character’s son gets to watch his father appear and disappear several times in his life while Tony Todd spends the 2nd half the episode acting his ass off”.

1
Gumbygirl

Hugs, hunny!

1
SonOfSpam

Well, at least Trump saw this coming and filled the Strategic Oil Reserve.

Oh wait, last summer he sad he would when the price was right.

ART OF THE DEAL.

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ballsofsteelandfury

Isn’t the price right now? Or maybe in a week?

0
SonOfSpam

Not, like, for buying.

0
Rikki-Tikki-Deadly

Unless he’s the one selling, and the U.S. Treasury is footing the bill.

0
Jimbo

Moar like FART OF THE DEAL.

6
SonOfSpam

/writes that down
//tries to copyright
///too late, Jimbo was first

1
Gatoraids

SHART OF THE DEAL STILL AVAILABLE

2
BrettFavresColonoscopy

Not gonna lie, I prefer to watch SNL on Sunday and later so I can fast forward and parse.

2
Redshirt

Same here. I usually wait until Weekend Update starts. That way I can watch it and then rewind to the cold open.

0
SonOfSpam

Gorillaz leading off with a 20 year old hit (Clint Eastwood) was cool.

1
Rikki-Tikki-Deadly

With Del the Funky Homosapien!

1
Horatio Cornblower

I find just not watching it at all helps.

1
Doktor Zymm

I will never hate standard time. There are a few winters I very well might not have made it through without that morning sun. It’s less important now that I live in a state where you can go outside in winter without spending 15 minutes putting on 7 layers of clothing, but I still wake up early and don’t begrudge it to the people who still are stuck in the cold and the dark back in shittier places. People who prefer DST prefer it because it kinda sucks for it to be dark after work. People who prefer ST prefer it because it’s the only thing standing between them and their severe seasonal depression tipping into unmanageable territory.

2
Unsurprised

One step closer to this whole stupid system crashing and burning.

https://bsky.app/profile/wsj.com/post/3mgjgghlkpp2y

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Mr. Ayo

This is not what I wanted when saying Release the Kraken.

11
Redshirt

You still said the words! Dammit, Mister, you still said the words!

3
Unsurprised

Once again, the fictional state of Wyoming produces something that exists to annihilate the future. Anyway, paywall-free because fuck Murdoch and fuck the WSJ even if he didn’t own it.

https://archive.ph/lEDun

3
Doktor Zymm

That’s one of the things the government uses Wyoming for, a plausible way to release horrible things and make it look like it came from ‘the people’

6
Rikki-Tikki-Deadly

Being integrated with federal payment systems seems to defeat the whole purpose of crypto. If the money is just going to be kept track of by making an entry in a federal database, crypto basically just becomes dollars with extra steps.

0
Doktor Zymm

They’re not gonna stop using blockchain just because they have access to an additional part of the payments system

0
Unsurprised

That LT story rules.

0
Rikki-Tikki-Deadly

Oh look crude is up another 5% in the last two hours.

1000001895
2
Jimbo

I am getting tired of all this winning.

5
Unsurprised

We get the government we deserve.

0
Gumbygirl

Bullshit. Trump voters deserve this.

3
Rikki-Tikki-Deadly

YOU’LL GET MORE WINNING AND YOU’LL LIKE IT!

1
Rikki-Tikki-Deadly

Sorry did I say 5%? I meant 8%.

1000001900
2
Doktor Zymm

That image reminds of this xkcd
comment image

5
Jimbo

The new Ayatollah is 56, wooo Go GenX! It’s out time to shine.

5
Jimbo

Also

IMG_0797
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ballsofsteelandfury

Gen X Dear Leader to neighboring countries:

“Stop bombing yourselves! Stop bombing yourselves!”

6
Mr. Ayo

*Ayotollah Bow down before I’m assassinated.

4
LemonJello

comment image

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ballsofsteelandfury

Chocolate Jesus cake?

¡Dios mío!

/faints on couch

3
Jimbo

comment image

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SonOfSpam

Chocolate Jesus >>>>>> Personal Jesus

1
ballsofsteelandfury

For those of you not familiar with Mexican law, any two men that lie to each other’s wives, mistresses, and girlfriends to cover for each other are legally compadres por vida.

Last edited 1 month ago by ballsofsteelandfury
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Doktor Zymm

Of course if they’re lying enough that vida might be considerably shorter for them both

2
ballsofsteelandfury

I see you are unaware of the Comadre Corollary : The Sancho Chronicles

Last edited 1 month ago by ballsofsteelandfury
1
Gumbygirl

Believe me when I say, I don’t got something for his punk ass.

3
litre_cola

Canadia takes the lead on the Van Halen’s!

3
SonOfSpam

Finish from the L.A. Marathon today. The American guy sprinted past the Kenyan guy in the last few yards. I can’t think of a worse close-second finish than after running 26.2 miles.

comment image

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SonOfSpam

omg the video is worse

3
ballsofsteelandfury

Just saw the video on YouTube. That was actually pretty cool. Good on the guy that won!

He passed him clean. Fair and square.

6
SonOfSpam

Oh absolutely, I just feel bad for the other guy.

0
Horatio Cornblower

Can’t believe no coaches were around to give the leader a little “heads up, that guy doesn’t know you’ve won”

1
Gatoraids

the agony…of….defeat

4
SonOfSpam

And the women’s winner was from Kenya, a 45 year old mother of three. 2nd place was an American 39 year old mother of four.

Dok, not too late to become a marathon champ. Start training.

8
ballsofsteelandfury

She’s gonna have to pop out some kids first…

5
Rikki-Tikki-Deadly

Probably going to need some kind of coach.

comment image

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Doktor Zymm

Haha. No.

5
Horatio Cornblower

They’re so good at long distance running because they’d rather run 28 miles at a clip then deal with 3 or 4 kids.

There’s a reason I got clipped after 2.

2
Doktor Zymm

Saw that in Olympic bicycling road race a while ago. Lady was way out in front and on the final stretch a 3 person peloton flew past and she went from first to not medaling in the last 5 meters

2
Horatio Cornblower

Cycling is brutal for that. So many stages of the Tour de France have 2-3 guys pedaling out front for dozens of miles kilometers and then in the last coupe of klicks the peloton goes by them like they’re pedaling Big Wheels.

0
fleshwound_NPG

ice bills go for two and beat the ice bucs 8-7, hell of a call there

0
Mr. Ayo

God damn, what a crazy game that was.

0
fleshwound_NPG

if the avs lose to dallas yet again, rooting for buffalo’s revenge for 1999

1
fleshwound_NPG

“if these trends continue…eeyyyy!!!”

simpsons-disco-stu-graph-oil
9
WCS

College hoops champeechan week is also underway. We’re entering the two-and-half best weeks of basketball of the year.

0
Gumbygirl

I saw Edgar Martinez play as a wookie for the M’s. You could tell he was going to be good, but he was a little raw. Obviously, he got better!

3
Mr. Ayo

He did it all for the nookie

2
Gumbygirl

Take yer cookie! Balls knows where to stick it.

3
Mr. Ayo

comment image

4
King Hippo

oooh, Hippo can haz idea. When Puerto Rico estamos LIBRE, can I be WASPery’s ambassador?

4
Don T

I look forward to bilateral agreements. We send the good rum (not that Capt. Morgan rrsidue), and we get clinics on “You so clingy” messaging

6
King Hippo

I am also willing to sell indulgences, if it helps break down pesky cultural barriers. Plus support Yadier Molina para el HALL OF FAME.

4
ballsofsteelandfury

Ambassadorship requires turning a blind eye and not judging WASPily while on duty.

Can you actually do that?!?

3
Horatio Cornblower

If he’s willing to say a guy who played 19 years and couldn’t get to 200 HRs or 2200 hits or a 42 WAR deserves to be in the Hall of Fame then I’m confident he can do anything.

Molina did play one game at 3B, so he’s very useful for Immaculate Grid in that respect.

0
WCS

Congrats, ladies:

https://www.espn.com/womens-college-basketball/story/_/id/48148147/west-virginia-beats-tcu-win-women-big-12-tournament-title

Let’s try to finally, FINALLY get to at least the Sweet 16 this year. Please.

Ice Stillers complete the comeback from the worst lead in hawkey. BAWSTAHN was up, 3-0, before 10:00 of the second. Tommy Novak has Pascal Duquis vibes. Rookie Anthony Mantha looks like Jordan Staal did as a rookie.
https://www.espn.com/nhl/recap/_/gameId/401803353

2
King Hippo

yinz goin’ to the Ice Owl??

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