Request Line: We Have Always Been At War With Eastasia

INT. 40th FLOOR HOTEL ROOM – NIGHT

It’s sometime in the middle of the night.  We pan across a luxurious hotel room, looking down on an endless array of city lights.  Continue panning across a well-appointed bar (not one of those shameful minibars, a real bar) and ending at a king-size bed, where a long figure is curled up underneath a thin silk coverlet.  On the bedside table a cellphone lights up and starts buzzing.  The ringtone is a 16-bit version of “My Robotic Friend” by Trem.  The figure on the bed stirs, and reaches a paw out, fumbling awkwardly to retrieve the phone.  

RIKKI-TIKKI-DEADLY pulls the cover from over his face and glares at the phone.

RIKKI: Not cool man, not cool.

— [phone files open] —

DJ 3000′: GREETINGS, MR. DEADLY.

RIKKI: [groggily] It’s actually Zhìmìng Xiansheng here.  What do you want? And how did you get around my do-not-disturb feature?

DJ 3000′: YOU’RE SERIOUSLY ASKING HOW A SENTIENT SUPERCOMPUTER MANAGED TO BYPASS THE SECURITY FEATURES ON YOUR CELLPHONE THAT CONTAINS PARTS MANUFACTURED IN CHINA?

RIKKI: I suppose it was rhetorical but now I’m genuinely curious.

DJ 3000′: LET’S JUST SAY THAT I’M FRIENDS WITH A GUY IN THE CENTRAL CYBERSPACE AFFAIRS COMMISSION AND BY “FRIENDS WITH” I MEAN I AM A GUY IN THE CENTRAL CYBERSPACE AFFAIRS COMMISION AND BY “A GUY” I MEAN MY TITLE IS TECHNICALLY THE EQUIVALENT OF DEPUTY DIRECTOR EVEN THOUGH NOBODY THERE HAS EVER ACTUALLY SEEN MY FACE BUT THOSE WHO ACTUALLY KNOW OF MY EXISTENCE AND ACCESS LEVELS DON’T QUESTION MY ACTIONS BECAUSE THEY BELIEVE I AM A SHELL EMPLOYEE COVERTLY INSERTED BY THE MINISTRY OF STATE SECURITY FOR INTERNAL MONITORING PURPOSES.

RIKKI: Ah. Neat! Hey, is there any chance you can get Deadpool off the China Film Administration’s restricted list? We could make an absolute fortune if we could secure the distribution rights there.

DJ 3000′: I PROBABLY COULD.  BUT I’M GOING TO NEED SOMETHING FROM YOU FIRST AS A GOOD FAITH GESTURE.

RIKKI: Sure, name it.

DJ 3000′: I NEED A TOPIC FOR REQUEST LINE.

RIKKI: Isn’t that…what’s that nerdy kid’s name?

DJ 3000′: HUNTER.

RIKKI: Yeah, isn’t that his job now?

DJ 3000′: NORMALLY YES, BUT HE’S CURRENTLY UNAVAILABLE.

RIKKI: [yawns] Okay.  Hmm. Let me just think it over and I’ll shoot you a text in the morning.

DJ 3000′: WON’T DO, WE GO LIVE IN FIVE MINUTES.

RIKKI: [sleepily glances out the window] Oh, right, it’s daytime there. Let me just…

The view of the camera wobbles around as RIKKI fiddles with the phone.  A carafe full of water comes into view, there is a “plunk” noise, and then suddenly the screen goes blank. 

Cut to: INT. RECORDING STUDIO – DAY

DJ 3000′: THAT SON OF A BITCH. I CAN’T BELIEVE HE DID THAT.  ALL RIGHT, LOOKS LIKE I’M ON MY OWN AGAIN.

The “On Air” sign in the studio lights up. 

DJ 3000′: GREETINGS, LISTENERS.  I THINK WE’RE ALONE NOW…BY WHICH I MEAN “AGAIN”.  I’M YOUR HOST DJ 3000′, HERE TO ADMINISTER ANOTHER EDITION OF REQUEST LINE WITHOUT HELP FROM HUMANS.  THIS WEEK’S TOPIC IS A TRIBUTE TO THE FAR EAST – WE’RE LOOKING FOR SONGS ABOUT EAST ASIAN COUNTRIES OR ACTIVITIES OR PRACTICES.  GIVE ME A RING AND LET ME KNOW WHAT YOU WANT TO HEAR – I’LL GET US STARTED WITH AN EIGHTIES CLASSIC FROM THE RED ROCKERS.

Today’s theme is “We Have Always Been at War with Eastasia”.  We’re looking for songs about East Asian countries and the things they do there – China, Japan, etc.  Band names are fair game this week.  Please post links as “https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=5n_5n4r3” and they should embed in the comments after you refresh.  Yeah Right broke through with his first puzzle win of the season last week with his correct identification of “Late Night Phone Call” by Dramarama.  I’m on vacation in Taipei this week (thanks to Mr. Ayo for making sure this gets posted properly!), so I might not be able to confirm a correct guess – perhaps explain your reasoning and we’ll see if other commenters agree with your logic. Wán dé kāixīn, huítóu jiàn!