Request Line: A Prom To Die For – Part 11 (Slippery When Wet)

INT. RECORDING STUDIO – DAY

All the lights are…actually, most of the lights are out.  A single spotlight is pointed at a disco ball on the ceiling, the reflections from which faintly illuminate DJ 3000′ as it boots up…

…to a studio that has remained empty during the entire NFL season and postseason so far.  As we watch, DJ 3000”s console flashes the text "TCP-IP connection request sent..." shortly followed by "TCP-IP connection secured...receiving data..." before cutting to a security camera displaying the Soscatee High School indoor swimming pool.

INT. SOSCATEE HIGH SCHOOL SWIMMING POOL – NIGHT.

HUNTER RENFROW and ANGIE MARTINEZ are treading water in the deep end of the pool while RACHEL DUNBARTON looks down from inside the ventilation duct above.

RACHEL DUNBARTON: I’m not sure I can do this.

ANGIE MARTINEZ: It’s fine, the water’s not that cold.

RACHEL: That’s not really the problem.

HUNTER RENFROW: Come on Rachel, you got this!

RACHEL: It’s a long way down.  And I’m not that good of a swimmer even in a bathing suit, let along while wearing this [she gestures at her Star Trek-inspired prom gown].

HUNTER: [taking charge] Okay, here’s what we’re gonna do.  Angie, go grab that flotation ring and toss it to me.  Rachel, I’m going to stay right here.  As soon as you hit the water, I’ll be right next to you with the ring and we’ll float you to the edge.

RACHEL: [nervously] I don’t know about this…

ANGIE MARTINEZ swims to the side of the pool as Hunter drifts a little closer towards the landing zone. He scans the room for a security camera and once he has spotted it, addresses it directly.

HUNTER: DJ 3000′, can you hear me?

DJ 3000′ [via school speaker system]: I ASSUME YOU ARE SPEAKING TO ME, HUNTER. THERE IS NO INTERCOM SYSTEM IN THIS ROOM SO I CANNOT HEAR YOU. BUT IF YOU ARE WONDERING ABOUT THE LOCATION OF YOUR ASSAILANT THEY ARE APPROACHING THE T-JUNCTION THAT YOU PASSED THROUGH ONE HUNDRED YARDS EARLIER.

HUNTER: Rachel, we don’t have much time.  On a scale of zero to 100, how much would you say you trust me?

RACHEL: I don’t know, probably about a 75 or so.

HUNTER: That’s it? When have I ever lied to you?

RACHEL: You lied about having met Spud’s Canadian girlfriend.

HUNTER: Okay, that’s different.

RACHEL: How is that different?

HUNTER: That’s A/V Club stuff, we have a code. Just jump, I promise I’ll take care of you.

ANGIE: [who has emerged from the pool and taken down the flotation ring] Here Hunter, catch.

ANGIE MARTINEZ hurls the flotation ring to HUNTER RENFROW, who grabs on and floats next to it.  RACHEL DUNBARTON takes a deep breath, and tumbles clumsily out of the ventilation duct. She curls up into a ball and hits the water heavily.  After a moment she emerges from the water, sputtering.  HUNTER is right next to her with the flotation ring and she clings to it.  He pushes the two of them to the edge of the pool and RACHEL uses the ladder to climb out of the water, followed by HUNTER. The girls stand on the edge of the pool shivering.

[EDITOR’S NOTE: While the characters of Angie Martinez and Rachel Dunbarton are high school students, the actresses portraying them are ages 24 and 26 respectively, so it is not at all perverted for you to imagine them standing with their soaking wet prom gowns clinging to their supple bodies.]

HUNTER: See? We did it!

As HUNTER emerges from the water he looks at the camera and makes a series of gesticulations, including the familiar “film” gesture from a game of charades. 

DJ 3000′ [via school speaker system]: HUNTER IF I DIDN’T KNOW BETTER I’D THINK YOU WERE TRYING TO TELL ME TO ZOOM IN ON THESE YOUNG WOMEN IN THEIR SOAKING WET PROM GOWNS AND RECORD FOOTAGE OF THEIR BODIES’ PHYSIOLOGICAL REACTION TO THE EVAPORATIVE COOLING EFFECT OF THE WATER.

HUNTER: What? No!

RACHEL: Well that’ll knock twenty percent off the trust meter…

HUNTER: What I was trying to tell you is to…[with exaggerated annunciation]…point the camera in the direction that we should exit!

DJ 3000′ [via school speaker system]: I AM SORRY HUNTER THE RESOLUTION ON THIS CAMERA IS NOT SUFFICIENT FOR ME TO READ LIPS. HOWEVER, IF YOU ARE LOOKING FOR AN EGRESS POINT, I WOULD RECOMMEND EXITING THROUGH THE GIRLS’ LOCKER ROOM.

HUNTER: Okay ladies, let’s go.

DJ 3000′ [via school speaker system]: BEFORE YOU LEAVE I WOULD APPRECIATE IF YOU COULD PROVIDE ME WITH A TOPIC FOR…OH HELL WHAT AM I WASTING MY TIME FOR I’LL JUST DO IT MYSELF. LET’S GO WITH…[the camera pans around the room before settling on the pool itself]…WATER. WE’LL DO SONGS WITH TITLES THAT INCLUDE THE WORDS “WET” OR “WATER”.  YOU KIDS WILL NEED TO WARM UP A BIT AFTER YOUR PLUNGE SO LET’S START WITH SOME OF THE HIGHEST ENERGY MUSIC OUT THERE.

Today’s theme is “Slippery When Wet”.  We’re looking for songs that specifically include the word “water” or “wet” in the song title OR band name.  Please post links as “https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=p0T5t’NoD” and they should embed in the comments after you refresh (this is potentially a fiendishly difficult puzzle, so an additional clue is that the song is performed by a band from Manchester, England (highlight to see). Last week’s puzzle of “Slowdive” was solved by BrettFavresColonoscopy in possibly his first-ever puzzle victory.  If you’re reading this BeefReeferLives, I hope you got my email and will come back soon!