Request Line: A Prom To Die For – Part 15 (Heroics)

INT. RECORDING STUDIO – DAY

DJ 3000′ is hovering above a hospital bed where HUNTER RENFROW remains plugged into a VR simulation of a high school prom mass murder. 

The PRODUCER bursts into the room.

DJ 3000′: OH GOOD YOU’RE JUST IN TIME.

PRODUCER: Wait, what’s going on? Oh no!

CUT TO:

INT. THEATER DEPARTMENT – NIGHT

Our protagonists have returned to the prop storage area behind the stage.  But all is not well.  RACHEL DUNBARTON lies facedown in a pool of blood next to a pile of spare black velvet curtains.  ANGIE MARTINEZ hangs from a support beam by a rope tied around her hands, her head down and her eyes closed.  

PRODUCER [O/S]: Are they…?

DJ 3000′ [O/S]: Just wait.

The camera pans to show HUNTER RENFROW languishing on a throne, holding a prop sword in his lap.

As we watch, the frame of the VILLAIN – still wearing a plague mask and covered in a thick robe that conceals their size and shape – steps hesitantly into the room.

VILLAIN: Back to where it all began, huh?

HUNTER RENFROW: Indeed.  You know, from the moment this all began, I’ve been wondering what the point of it all was.

VILLAIN: Have you, now?

HUNTER: I realized that in order to survive the evening, I’d have to defeat you.  And in order to defeat you, I must understand you.  And in order to understand you…I decided that I must become you.

HUNTER RENFROW gestures expansively to the body of RACHEL DUNBARTON.

VILLAIN: And…?

HUNTER: Well, it didn’t really work.  So I figured I’d just ask you.  Why are you murdering all these high school students?

VILLAIN: I didn’t actually kill that many high school students.

HUNTER: Really?

VILLAIN: Just the one.

HUNTER: Huh. It seemed like more.

VILLAIN: Nope, just the kid in the hallway outside the A/V Club room.  And the funny thing is that I’d have let him go if he’d just kept running.

HUNTER: Oh. Bad luck for him.

VILLAIN: Surely.  Well you see…

The VILLAIN reaches up to remove the plague mask he’s been wearing…

…but then hesitates. 

VILLAIN: Wait a minute.  Are you recording this? I know you kids record everything.

HUNTER: I wish. Our phones all got soaking wet when we jumped in the pool.

VILLAIN: You should have stopped by the home-economics classroom; put them in containers of rice.

HUNTER: Oh. Yeah, I wish I’d thought of that.

VILLAIN: It wouldn’t have mattered, though.  All of this was inevitable.  You see, for years I’ve been dreaming about revenge…

The VILLAIN removes the plague mask, for real this time, and shrugs off the black robe, to reveal…

HUNTER RENFROW’s eyes widen in surprise.

DAN SNYDER: …and I finally saw my chance to get it.  In 2019, Jay Gruden ran my beloved Redskins into the ground.  And then some whistleblowing turd told the press about my proclivity for taking the team’s cheerleaders out of the country and confiscating their passports.  And all that other distastefulness that should have stayed behind closed doors.  Perhaps, if the team had been stronger, I’d have been able to weather the storm.  But instead, I was forced to relinquish my most prized possession for the paltry sum of billions and billions of dollars.  It wasn’t fair!  So I tried to take his brother Jon down with me.  And it worked…for a while.  But now the NFL is looking to welcome him back.  Unacceptable.  So instead…the Gruden family will be ruined.  Jon is going to find himself being investigated for the murder of his predecessor at the Raiders – Jack Del Rio.  And of a referee he’d been sending sexist, threatening messages to for months now.  And to fully demonstrate how truly insane he’s gone…the murder of one of his favorite former players…Hunter Renfrow.

DAN SNYDER reaches down and draws a massive hunting knife, and steps forward.

HUNTER RENFROW laughs derisively, sits up and steps away from the throne, and brandishes the sword he’s been holding in his lap.

HUNTER: You call that a knife?

DAN SNYDER: Yes, this is a knife.  And it’s made out of carbon steel.  As opposed to that rubber prop sword you’re holding.  And now you’re trapped.

HUNTER RENFROW glances down and tosses the rubber prop sword aside, then sets his feet and fixes his eyes on the doorway behind DAN SNYDER.

HUNTER: I shook off coverage to catch the game-winning pass in the National Championship game.  I think I can get past you.

DAN SNYDER: Oh Hunter, I don’t have to tackle you…or even cover you. [he steps forward] I just need to…

Suddenly, a large piece of black velvet fabric is draped over DAN SNYDER’s head from behind. 

RACHEL DUNBARTON: [who had been playing possum] Angie, now!

ANGIE MARTINEZ opens her eyes and swings by her wrists on the rope.  She directs her legs forward and with all her considerable core strength she kicks DAN SNYDER directly in the back. The knife flies from his hand and he stumbles forward…

— [to be continued] —

Today’s theme is “Heroics”.  We’re looking for songs about heroes and heroic traits and actions (bravery, etc.).  Please post links as “https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=L!k34RH(P”.  Last week’s puzzle answer of “Sweet Caroline” by Neil Diamond was solved by GumbyGirl, who has been on a heater lately.  You folks are the real heroes, now let’s rock!