Hello there fellow DFO’er. Hope you’re well today. And thanks for coming back to see last weeks comments of the week as decided by my brain. There’s no reason as to why some comments make it and others don’t. Seriously. There isn’t.
This weeks cheesy motivational quote is:
Although the world is full of suffering, it is also full of overcoming it [in bed].
Helen Keller
If you are suffering in bed, you need to use your safe-word. Or not, do you.
As a reminder, Sunday comments stand alone and Monday comments will go on the next week’s post.
Note that during the offseason, I’ll probably look at the Sunday posts.
Without further ado, here are the comments of the week.
Saved the best for last:
BeefReeferLives
Settling into parental leave with a second kid now. I have a feeling this is gonna be my life when they’re both passed out
Sharkbait
Welp, I just watched the local news. Turns out, Desert Hot Springs has been under a boil water order since yesterday. Hello cholera!
Gumbygirl
Oregon Trailing it!
WCS
Horatio Cornblower
For next off season, we should have someone unbiased (GTD or Gumby?) pick a “winner” of each week’s mock draft.
And if we want to use that to make Horatio’s life easier, we could require the winner to nominate a new topic for his consideration.
BrettFavresColonoscopy
Even though it means my Raiders would constantly be on the bubble (along with these Cardinals), I still wish the NFL had relegation.
Rikki-Tikki-Deadly
“You remember that one year when Houston had a team called ‘The Texans’ in the NFL Premier?”
“No, stop making things up.”
SonOfSpam
Just ordered tickets for Grace Potter at a local brewery later this year, combining two of my favorite activities: staring at hot chicks while hoping my wife doesn’t notice, and beer.
I hadn’t paid enough attention and almost paid about three times the actual price when I realized that I was on a resale site that had somehow abused the algorithm well enough to make itself the first site that popped up. Fortunately I tend to read the fine print and realized what was going on.
So hey,
Horatio Cornblower
Do you put Lowratio on your shoulders so he can see the show?
BTW, my phone just autocompleted “Lowratio”.
ballsofsteelandfury
So maybe, just MAYBE, the Narrative requires Damar to be playing when the Bills win. He’s already a shoo-in for comeback player of the year, but imagine if he got a decisive pick-6 in the Owl and also got MVP, that would be NArrative up the wazoo
Doktor Zymm
Narrative: “Sounds good and all but how does that benefit Mahomes and the Chiefs?”
Redshirt
See, I’m such a nerd that I didn’t even think about the implications of AA-Ron living where drugs can be delivered to your door. Hope that’s his downfall.
Or the knee in the parking lot, either way.
BrettFavresColonoscopy
I think Rodgers is going to have so much sex in NYC he’ll pull a hammy and be out six weeks.
ballsofsteelandfury
North Jersey
Doktor Zymm
I would take Rodgers imploding and crying on the field over the Bears winning the division this year.
BrettFavresColonoscopy
THESE NY JETS, I CALL THEM PRIGOZHIN’S EXPRESS ELEVATOR TO HELL, BECAUSE THEY’RE GOING DOWN!
LemonJello
https://www.cnn.com/europe/live-news/russia-ukraine-war-news-08-23-23/index.html
He was found next to a suicide note written in a dead language in someone else’s handwriting.
Redshirt
I think some Russian generals might be a tad nervous right now.
Brick Meathook
They knew the risks they were taking when they chose to be Russian!
blaxabbath
Prigozhin was playing third-dimensional chess and Putin was playing with explosives.
scotchnaut
He sent an armored force to the capital and then stopped halfway there. Dude, if you try to kill the king you better kill him.
Brick Meathook
THIS.
As soon as he stopped, I knew he was dead.
ballsofsteelandfury
Furthermore,
Don T
::Seizes up and kills over:: [ when trying to read Maestro’s P*ts preview]
-Lea Michelle
blaxabbath
They should give Fatty McGoo prison clothing in sizes appropriate for 215. Let him walk around the yard with his milkshake and love handles hanging out.
King Hippo
Everyone Said The Same Thing After Donald Trump’s Height, Weight Were Released (msn.com)
Redshirt
Hey the way I see it we’re only in this mess because so many people got too comfortable not calling out lies
Brocky
If I’m the prosecution, I’m bringing in a scale as Exhibit A to show he’s a compulsive liar whose afraid to show weakness or flaws. He opened the door.
Redshirt
I’m here at the lovely Hampton Suites in Beaumont (CA) and while I was waiting to get on the elevator two of the five people getting off said “sorry!” as they emerged. I wish I’d had the presence of mind to respond “Wait, why are you apologizing? What did you do to that elevator?”
Rikki-Tikki-Deadly
Is that where VacuuCon is being held this year?
LemonJello
I heard it sucks
BrettFavresColonoscopy
That shitass dog of mine will swat you with her paw when she wants attention. So I’m reading, and she swatted me on my calf. “Ow, shit Phoebe, quit it!” So I feel something on my leg a minute later and go to swat the bug that I thought was on my leg. There is blood everywhere. Blood is running down my leg, I’ve got a puddle of blood in my shoe; it’s a great big mess. Little shit has punched what looks like a 1/4″ hole in my leg with her claws. So I get this bleeding stopped, and when I go back to where I was sitting there’s that damn dog, lapping up blood that’s gotten into the carpet. Jeezus Christ. Fucking dog is already a great big PITA, I don’t think we want her to get a taste for human flesh.
BugEyedBoo
Made a manhattan while holding my new kid.
Sharkbait
Brocky
Kind of funny because one of them is a rapist, one is a rageaholic, one is a fat pathetic loser, and one is all of those things.
Rikki-Tikki-Deadly
The part I needed to fix the dryer, completely DIY, has come in.
So far I have correctly dismantled the dryer, only managing to lose one screw down the lint shaft. I am incredibly unhandy around the house. Will I be successful in fixing the dryer all by my big boy self, or will Mrs. Horatio call Sears/Kenmore repair services while I angry drink the rest of the day?
TUNE IN AND FIND OUT!!!
Horatio Cornblower
Is it the heater element/fuses or a motor/belt?
Brick Meathook
Or perhaps something as simple as the door latch (and associated interlock)?
bk109
The motor belt had snapped. Biggest pain in the ass was finding a replacement part, then getting the front panel to snap back on.
The dryer has a new belt and is all put back together. Seems to be running nicely, but I will absolutely be watching the first few loads, (heh, “loads”), go through to make sure nothing bursts into flames.
Horatio Cornblower
Bob Barker dead at 99. I totally thought that he was dead already.
litre_cola
We had the same conversation here earlier today.
99 is a good life. That’s like cheating death by a good decade.
“And always have your pet spayed or neutered.”
yeah right
He didn’t go over.
litre_cola
Targetted ads are not all bad. Mrs Cola has been bathing suit shopping for our trip in a month and sending me ideas via social media. Well, my week has been curvy women in bathing suits, and lingerie targetted and its her fault!
litre_cola
My computer thinks I’m a lipstick lesbian. No clue how it could have gotten that idea.
King Hippo
Yeah, I always had you pegged as a bull dyke.
Dunstan
Mrs. Horatio has been outside for hour manically doing yard work. Currently on a piece of land that belongs to our neighbor.
I am going to have to break out a tranquilizer dart soon.
Horatio Cornblower
For the record I’ve done nothing all day beside read the paper and go to the gym. Gonna live off fixing the dryer myself for a good two weeks.
Horatio Cornblower
Men, OH MEN! Let me tell you how my weekend has gone. We moved TangerineJello into her dorm for junior year and are officially empty nesters once more. Then I spent today tending to lawn duties and almost taking a hammer to my goddammed chainsaw because I can’t get it to run even after changing the spark plug, air filter, and fuel filter.
I need a drink.
LemonJello
“Have you tried firing it up over the prone body of a hobo? I find the enthusiasm is often enough to fire it up, oftentimes even without gasoline!”
-Anonymous, Canada
Horatio Cornblower
WCS
Remember that bag of pork up there has 2 tenderloins in it. Use one and freeze the other.
[furrows brow in confusion at how nonsensical this seems]
“Oh! You mean to eat for dessert, like a popsicle!”
– Coach Reid
Rikki-Tikki-Deadly
Having some wild mood swings today. Sometimes I hate everything, sometimes I only hate 96% of things
Doktor Zymm
Here we are.
Just shut down the Sunday Gravy Test Kitchen for the season.
Football soon come!
yeah right
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Thanks for all the comments and funny and everything else.
Stay busy and safe out there.
NOTE banner image from here
https://www.cnn.com/2023/08/29/politics/francis-suarez-ends-president-campaign-republican/index.html
I believe I speak for everyone when I say “Who the Hell is Francis Suarez?”
Ahem,you speak for for almost everyone. My own reaction was “rats”, I’d bet a fiver that the first hopeful to drop out would be Will Hurd…
You’ve never heard of the The Suarez Canal? His great-grandfather built it.
Mayor of Miami and also completely delusional.
I thought he was the explorer that discovered Nicaragua, but no, turns out that was George Santos.
https://youtu.be/cLa1CyfAko0?si=1PtxJziUj6v6vQjH
… quick question – in a hypothethical scenario, if I let slip something that sounds suspiciously similar to the hard F-word, would I get immediately dogpiled on, or I’ll get the chance to explain myself? Just a hypothethical scenario that has absolutely no basis in reality (outside of happening to me earlier today … and the conversation getting a pleasant if odd plot twist)?
you can say fuck as much as you would like here.
No, the hard F word. Though in this case I was on the phone with a buddy in Bofors talking about the modified Fagot (a multi-purpose Soviet ATGM that the Russians are now using as cheap, guided bunker busters), when this random Canadian girl turns around and tells me that I should use slurs like that (because the Russian name for the missile is pronounced like the slur.. also apparently, it means bassoon in English) in public. Dunno why, I didn’t tell her off and instead I began explaining that it’s the missile and not the slur and she actually immediately believed me, ’cause she turned out to be Canuck military and had even seen that fired in Romania.
What a queer situation.
Well at least bk109 wasn’t niggardly with the details.
It cleaned up nicely at the end. Spic and span, one might say.
Nary a chink in the armor.
“WHOA IPHONE, YOU DO NOT GET TO SAY THAT WORD.” -Donald Glover
Fuck yeah!
I’ll try to keep things PG-ish, since, uhh… Honestly, I’m trying to clean up my vocabulary, especially since a certain incident where I may’ve … offended some people in Mons and Brussels by comparing their collective intelligence level unfavourably to fermented splatter from a Tijuana donkey show. In my defence, the only way their estimates would’ve been more retarded is if they’d written them in their own feces.
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=19fcN3VaXs4
I was dealt one of these by a rental company a few years ago. To be honest it drove pretty good. But it just looks like such a dork clown car, I felt like putting a sign on the drivers side door noting that it was a rental.
It’s a FIAT – and there’s a reason their cars have such a dreadful reputation. While it’s in-between repairs, it drives good, the problem is that those frequent trips to the nearest garage that works on them (FIATs in general, not the .. Multiply?) will get moar and moar frequent.
FIAT – Fix It Again Tony
So what happened with RTD’s mystery variable issue? The world wonders.
He just needs to sent the GIT location and the IT types here will look
The thing is, it’s a (compiled) C extension for a Ruby program. So…not really sure how I can track the variable – maybe convert it to character strings at various point and send the whole thing back? Or is there a way to write it to a text file as it progresses?
Have you tried turning it off and back on again?
More importantly, has he tried coding under the influence? After all
This sounds like my friends and I playing corn hole or horseshoes. There is a definite point where the consumption of alcohol reaches a level that makes you much more accurate than usual, but if you go so much as half a beer over you won’t hit the broad side of a bull’s ass from 20′ away.
The rest of the night, or at least as long as the tournament lasts, is spent trying to toggle back and forth to stay at just the right B/A level.
Smack it with a hammer. It won’t fix it, will probably make it worse, but you’ll feel better.
So you’re working on a Ruby app and calling a C dll that gets imported or whatever into Ruby?
Have you tried singing to it?
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=0P9QMkm9Eew
Wooooo, play it loud!
The file that it pulls in is an .so, but yeah.
It’s a ruby extension for Sketchup.
Mr Pickle says
I got beat up for putting Sketchup on my gerkin
In another win for the Bengals Scouting Department, the free agent signing lost his job as backup to the practice squad QB.
More and more it seems like we’re accidentally being good.
Accidental excellence is still excellence!