Your Monday Night NFL Football Open Thread

Well that was a weekend of games, wasn’t it? All but two games went under the Vegas total so there vast swathes of game time that featured much ado about nothing. Oh, and the injuries, wow. Myself, I’m safely in last place in Freezer Vodka, need 35 points from Herbert to get the W in MATH HARD! and Skull Fracture Boy blew the engine on his ’16 pickup. The hits keep coming!

Fallout:

-Prison Girlfriend has but three days to get his knee right because he’s under the lights this Thursday. Might a call to Aaron “I Did My Own Homework” Rodgers be in order?

-Nothing worse than steadily improving play from your qb during a Tankathon season. So I’ve no doubt that the news of Fields’ dislocated thumb was met with stifled giggles from the Bears front office. No doubt he’ll return with ‘all deliberate speed’.

-The Porta-Potty Row of lousy teams includes the Bears but starts with the Panthers and includes Denver, the Giants, the Pats and the Cards. Of course Caleb is the shiny toy but the mock draft I saw includes a UNC qb (Hippo spits on ground) the son of a Hall of Fame wr, an Edge and a couple of Fat Boys on the o-line.

To The Game!

Cowboys/Chargers:

-It’s always tough for me to make a call on a game between two teams that almost always shit the bed in big tilts. Not that this one has long-term ramifications but it is a stand-alone fixture.

-Ready yourself for lots of shots of Dallas fans in the stands. Have the Chargers ever really had a home game since they arrived in L.A.? It must be exceptionally bad when they play a squadoo whose fans travel well.

-“Ekeler’s Back!” Nope, that’s not what the Dolphins medical staff exclaimed while checking out his high ankle sprain. He’s finally returning. (sniffs haughtily, “Saquon was only out two weeks with a similar injury”)

-Did the Chargers fix their secondary during their bye week? They are a qb’s Afternoon (or Evening, as the case may be) Delight, surrendering an average of 329 passing yards per. There should be some improvement given that they get back both Bosa and Derwin James.

-Get ready for an earful of Kellen Moore talk-revenge game, revamping the offense, the parting of ways was mutual but he wants to win-and all the other usual crap.

Let’s do this again.