Saturday Preliminaries Thread

Everton have been playing dreadful footy since the calendar flipped to 2024, but hey – at least I caught wind of another beautiful woman (Giulia Bould, of BBC Merseyside) who shares my Toffees life sentence.  At least we’ve built ample character these last few years!

And thank Mother of Fuck, we have actual fixtures to look forward to again.  DST is still askew, so early morning is not-so-early, when the Bonesaws meet the Hammers (8:30, USA).  The Toolshed Derby?

Your 11:00 window is jam-packed with mediocrity, USA maybe picking the worst of the lot to show (Robins Hood v. Palace).  Everyone should stream the yeah right, Hippo! Derby (Cherries welcome Everton to the South Coast, presumably for another dry bumming session).

As if to make up for that dross, you get an Afternoon Delight doubleheader.  Sadly, it’s just Villa/Wolves (1:30, NBC) and Men Untied pilgriming off to Praise Beesus (4:00, Peacock).  Still, it beats watching paint dry.

Big NBC is back for Easter Sunday glory, with the King’s Afrikan Water Pistols invading City of Men (11:30, NBC).  Nothing much at stake, just the Title.  No pressure, lads.