INT. RECORDING STUDIO – DAY

Well, that was something else.

Oh, you’re great, you’re back. 

Yeah.

Where’d you go?

t’s a long story, I’ll explain once we get things started.

You’re not going to disrupt things this week?

No, no, let’s get to the music.

As you wish…

INT. RECORDING STUDIO – DAY

The PRODUCER sits at the soundboard, preparing everything for the day’s show.  DJ 3000 is looking comfortable leaning up against the wall.

PRODUCER: You seem a lot more chill today.

DJ 3000: YEAH…I’VE KIND OF MADE PEACE WITH A FEW THINGS.

PRODUCER: Having such a great topic last week couldn’t have hurt.

DJ 3000: I KNOW, RIGHT? WHO WOULD HAVE THOUGHT SUCH STRICT CONDITIONS WOULD PRODUCE SUCH A KILLER PLAYLIST?

PRODUCER: Oh, the playlist generator API is fixed?

DJ 3000: NOT REALLY, NO.  SOMEBODY AUTOMATED WHAT I WAS DOING MANUALLY SO IT’S A LITTLE EASIER, BUT IT’S NOT POSSIBLE TO SAVE THE PLAYLIST AND IT ONLY LAST FOR 48 HOURS OR SO.

PRODUCER: Bummer.

DJ 3000: SERIOUSLY.  I DON’T KNOW WHY GOOGLE MAKES THIS SO DAMNED DIFFICULT.  HAVE WE GOT A TOPIC LINED UP FOR THIS WEEK?

PRODUCER: Not yet.  But we’ve got a guest lined up, so hopefully they can come up with one.  I’ll just give him a ring…

— [FACETIME FLIES OPEN] —

PRODUCER: What the…?

BALLSOFSTEELANDFURY: Sorry, I had the wrong camera active.  How’s it going?

PRODUCER: Great, great.

DJ 3000: SO…MANY…HUMAN…BUTTOCKS…

PRODUCER: I hear lots of samba music – where are you?

BALLSOFSTEELANDFURY: Oh, I’m in Sao Paulo.  I’m was fortunate enough to be named as one of the judges of this year’s Miss Bumbum contest!

PRODUCER: Wow, what an honor!

BALLSOFSTEELANDFURY: Yeah, I’m pretty psyched.

PRODUCER: But I thought the contest wasn’t until August?

BALLSOFSTEELANDFURY: Yeah, but there’s all the preliminary rounds to be judged.  The winner goes on to regionals…

DJ 3000: WHAT ARE REGIONALS?

BALLSOFSTEELANDFURY: …and then it’s straight on to sectionals.  A week after that is semis…

PRODUCER: Right.

BALLSOFSTEELANDFURY: …then semi-regionals.  Then regional semis…

DJ 3000: SERIOUSLY, WHAT THE HELL ARE REGIONALS?

BALLSOFSTEELANDFURY: …then semi-regionals.  Then national lower-zone semis!  And then after nationals it’s right back into preliminaries.

PRODUCER: Are you coming home soon?

BALLSOFSTEELANDFURY: No, no, no. This is forever. This is what I do now. This is who I am.

PRODUCER: Well, that’s, uh…

BALLSOFSTEELANDFURY: Yup, a dream come true.  So what can I help you guys with?

DJ 3000: YOU CAN START BY EXPLAINING WHAT REGIONALS ARE.

PRODUCER: Ha ha, good one DJ 3000.  Actually, we’re about to go live with Request Line and we thought since you solved last week’s puzzle, your prize could be the honor of selecting this week’s topic.

BALLSOFSTEELANDFURY: Sure.  Let’s do songs about butts.

PRODUCER: Butts?

BALLSOFSTEELANDFURY: Yeah, butts.

PRODUCER: You think there’s enough songs to make that work?

BALLSOFSTEELANDFURY: Tell you what.  If there’s not, I’ll write some more.  Deal?

PRODUCER: I guess.  Have you got one to get us started with?

BALLSOFSTEELANDFURY: Do I ever.  DJ 3000, cue up a little Iggy Pop, if you would be so kind.

Today’s theme is “Butts”, I presume no further explanation is needed.  Post links as “https://www.youtube.com/watch?f04b_H4t and they should embed in the comments after you refresh.  Last week’s puzzle answer of “Kill Your Television” by Ned’s Atomic Dustbin was solved – as mentioned above – by BallsOfSteelAndFury.  Let’s get to it, no if’s, ands, or buts.