Miss Bumbum – A Teaching Moment

As you may recall, the DFO team had a homework assignment a couple of months back. On September 7, 2018, on the eve of the NFL season starting, I took over tWBS’s Sexy Friday post and set up a poll which would determine which Brazilian ass was the best Brazilian ass in all of Brazil (in the DFO-verse).

There were 27 candidates, one representing each Brazilian state, and I published pictures of each from the Miss Bumbum website so the DFOers could make an informed decision.  Votes were placed and a clear winner was chosen by the Commentist Party.  That winner was the candidate from Rio Grande do Norte, Giovanna Spinella:

Giovanna won 30% of the votes cast by the DFO readership. The runner-up, according to DFO, was:

Espírito Santo – CÁSSIA ALMEIDA (12% of the vote)

Tied for third were the representatives from Minas Gerais, Goiás, and Tocantins with 7% each and then Distrito Federal, Santa Catarina, and Amazonas with 5% of the vote each.

I said at the time that I would follow up after the pageant was over to see how DFO tastes matched up with Brazilian tastes.  Well, the Miss Bumbum pageant has crowned a new winner and it’s time for the results!

As you may recall, the Miss Bumbum pageant rules stipulate that the 27 candidates are whittled down to 15 finalists via an online poll on the Miss Bumbum website.  Those 15 then competed at an event in Sao Paulo on November 6, 2018 where the winner was chosen by a panel of judges with the online winners getting points on a declining scale and additional points awarded at the pageant itself.

Below is a table showing the top vote getters in the DFO poll versus the final Miss Bumbum online poll that closed on October 31, 2018. I’ve color-coded the names of the candidates in which we all coincided.

FINISH DFO’s Choice Miss Bumbum Online Choice
1 Giovanna Spinelli – Rio Grande do Norte Aline Uva, Rio Grande do Sul
2 Cássia Almeida, Espírito Santo Débora Porto, Paraná
3 TIE (Cida Alves-Minas GeraisJuliana Oliveira-Goiás, Daiane Mendes,Tocantins) Cida Alves, Minas Gerais
4 Paula Oliveira, Amazonas
5 Flávia Tamaio, Distrito Federal
6 TIE (Flávia Tamaio, Distrito FederalPaula Oliveira, AmazonasYasmin Albuquerque-Santa Catarina) Lady Oliveira, Bahia
7 Cássia Almeida, Espírito Santo
8 Juliana Oliveira, Goiás
9 TIE (Cinthia Gomes-RoraimaEllen Santana-Rondônia, Aline Uva-Rio Grande do Sul, Wigna Mota-São Paulo, Bruna Bac-Sergipe, DÉbora Porto-Paraná, Antonella Avellaneda-Mato Grosso, Grazielly Costa-Pará, Lady Oliveira-Bahía,
ValÉria Freitas-Maranhão
Cinthia Gomes, Roraima
10 Cris Souza, Amapá
11 Bruna Bac, Sergipe
12 Ellen Santana, Rondônia
13 Yasmin Albuquerque, Santa Catarina
14 Liane Nóbrega, Piauí
15 Suelen Nóbrega, Paraíba

DFO matched Brazilian voters on 11 of the top 15 candidates, which is pretty good.  The assumption is that a nice ass is a nice ass anywhere in the world.  However, looking deeper, some vast differences are revealed.  The top vote-getter in Brazil (and the margin was pretty large in the Miss BumBum poll) barely registered with DFO readers.  On the other hand, DFO’s top choice didn’t even make the top 15 in Brazil!

Similarly, the #2 in Brazil was ignored by the DFOers while Daiane Mendes, tied for DFO’s #3 spot, did not make the top 15.

Why?

Before we get to that, let’s first discuss the final results from Brazil.

At the pageant held in Sao Paulo, a surprise winner was chosen:  Ellen Santana, representing Rondônia.  That wasn’t the only surprise:

FIGHT FIGHT FIGHT FIGHT!!!!

Aline Uva, the overwhelming vote-getter in the online poll, thought something was rotten in the state of Denmark (or in this case Sao Paulo) and declared shenanigans.  Her claim at the time was that Ellen Santana had implants on her ass to make it bigger, plumper, and lovelier and that’s definitely against the rules.

Contest organizers wondered why Aline didn’t bring this up months ago when each of the contestants were asked to provide x-rays to prove they had not had their asses altered by plastic surgery.

While I may or may not agree with Aline’s claims, it is definitely surprising that the #12 finisher in the online poll managed to do well enough in the pageant so as to surpass the sizable advantage that Aline had with the online voting points.

In any case, Ellen was allowed to keep the crown and now Aline has been banned from participating in Miss BumBum-related activities.  Which is probably just as well as Miss Bumbum contestants have in the past become rich and famous despite not winning.  If anything, her actions at the pageant will only bring her more fame and opportunities.

And now for the twist!

In September, I mentioned that there were a couple of surprises that I would reveal when the results came out.  While Brazilian voters were aware of this information when they voted, the DFOers, unless they independently researched the candidates upon reading my post, would not have known that Giovanna Spinelli, representing Rio Grande do Norte, and Paula Oliveira, representing Amazonas, are transgender women that were born men.

Which is why I’m really proud of the DFO readers having chosen Giovanna as the DFO Miss BumBum 2018.

You all saw beauty and that’s all that mattered to you.  You did not know anything beyond that and you chose with your boners.  Well done!

The other heartwarming thing is that the Miss BumBum online voters chose Paula Oliveira as the #4 vote-getter KNOWING she was born a man.  Would DFO voters have done similarly if they knew what they know now?

I’ll leave that to you all to figure out for yourselves.  I’d like to think you would, but ultimately only you know.

FWIW, my favourites were Flávia Tamaio-Distrito Federal, Yasmin Albuquerque-Santa Catarina, Daiane Mendes,Tocantins, Bruna Bac, Sergipe, and Cida Alves-Minas Gerais.

In case you want to watch a longer video of the behind-the-scenes action at the pageant, here it is:

I’ll be really interested to read the comments today.  Make me proud.

ballsofsteelandfury

ballsofsteelandfury

International Member of the Geelong Cats and recovering Steelers fan. Likes Butts. And Balls. And Boobs. Pretty much anything that starts with the letter B. Preferably together.
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BrettFavresColonoscopy

I heard about the surgery scandal on the radio the other day and immediately wondered how we all did at predicting winners. I’m impressed with our ability to even get any of the top three right given the difference in what Brazilians and Americans (even Americans Lite aka Canadiens) find attractive.

scotchnaut

I was recently reminded of a time after I got out of school and was struggling real hard. More often than not, supper consisted of spaghetti lightly doused with a warmed-over relish/mustard sauce. It was a light sauce because I was stealing said condiments from a room mate and didn’t want him to notice.

Brick Meathook
Brick Meathook

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Moose -The End Is Well Nigh
Moose -The End Is Well Nigh

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Wakezilla

I honestly thought there were 4, maybe 5 trans women in the contest. I’d say good for Brazil, but what’s going to happen to those ladies is very sad.

Maybe tWBS can save Spinella through marriage

Moose -The End Is Well Nigh
Moose -The End Is Well Nigh

Not sure why I thought this analysis was hilarious…… but I did.

scotchnaut

I imagine this guy can’t appreciate music either because he’s obviously tone deaf.

scotchnaut

Join me next week when we break down Bugs Bunny vs. Elmer Fudd

Moose -The End Is Well Nigh
Moose -The End Is Well Nigh

I’m thinking he got told to do it as a joke…… but with certain lawyers who knows.

Moose -The End Is Well Nigh
Moose -The End Is Well Nigh

Moose -The End Is Well Nigh
Moose -The End Is Well Nigh

Duct testicles.

nomonkeyfun

When I read the Teaching Moment part of the headline, I thought this was going to be about objectification of women. I was very glad to learn that this is about how we should objectify trans-women as much as we do cis-women.

Phew.

SonOfSpam

Hey, if women don’t wanna be objectified, they shouldn’t be hot. Ipso facto.

Moose -The End Is Well Nigh
Moose -The End Is Well Nigh

Objectification vs. creepy worship vs. appreciation of someone (no matter the societal classification) is very subjective at the edges. I would put most of my own in the realm of creepy worship.

Moose -The End Is Well Nigh
Moose -The End Is Well Nigh

Moose -The End Is Well Nigh
Moose -The End Is Well Nigh

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Moose -The End Is Well Nigh
Moose -The End Is Well Nigh

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King Hippo

I think it only makes us gay if we happened to actually know the contestant personally when she was still a man (or pre-op, however you say it unoffensively) and still got all bonery. If you’ve only known/seen as a woman…well, she still is a woman, right?

TLDR: Hippo still a non-practicing heterosexual ,, no ofence 😀

And good for all the contestants and Brasil’s open-mindedness.

SonOfSpam

If that were true, then it would’ve been gay when I beat off to my Bruce Jenner posters when I was younger. Obviously that wasn’t gay, so you’re wrong, hater.

theeWeeBabySeamus

LMFAO.

Were you eating Wheaties too?

SonOfSpam

I called ’em “Beaties”

theeWeeBabySeamus

Hehehehehe

theeWeeBabySeamus

Ahhhh…the “Mac Defense”. I like it.

SonOfSpam

Whatever gender they were at birth, they all taste the same after they’re butchered and dry-aged.

King Hippo

ppl do forget that

Rikki-Tikki-Deadly

Incidentally, last night I learned how to tie a roast with butcher’s twine.

SonOfSpam

Cool – lemme send you some pics of what I’m working with, and you can maybe diagram some instructions. When it’s all done, we can have a cookout!

Don T

RELEVANTE
Babasónicos – “Trans-Algo” (Trans-Something)

Don T

From the incredible album “Discutible” (Arguable), which came out last month! Lyrics in English, translated artlessly:

I’m close to reveal
I’m close to show God
Something about us, something about me.

Maybe not even I know who I am
And may need an exit
Something about us, something about me.

And take care not to talk that way
In that ruthless manner
With what do you hate the trans?
With what do you hate the trans?
Can’t you see that I’m one of many
Who are looking for…

A festival of hugs
With notes of secular empathy
Something about us.
A show of affection
In public, complicity and display of touches
Display of touches.

Take care not to talk that way
In that ruthless manner.
With what do you hate the trans?
With what do you hate the trans?
Can’t you see that I’m one of many
Who are looking for… freedom.

Trans
Trans-cool
Trans-me
Trans-something (X 2)

I know it’s not cool to admit it
That’s why I like to make you uncomfortable.

And take care not to talk about me
In that ruthless manner.
With what do you hate the trans?
With what do you hate the trans?
Can’t you see that I’m one of many
Who are looking for…

Don T

Fun fact! A “display of touches” is what every fantasy owner of Sony Michel prays for.

Rikki-Tikki-Deadly

What’s up with the “historical badasses” tag? These asses are anything but bad.

theeWeeBabySeamus

This seems like as good a place for this as any…

For as long as I can remember, I have worn some form of facial hair the majority of the time in my adult life. There have been times when I have been clean shaven but they have been few and far between. And it’s been a long time since it’s happened.

Mustache, full beard…but usually a short and neatly trimmed goatee the majority of the time.

Turns out my goatee was severely irritating the skin of my new ladyfriend. I mean she wasn’t making it up. I saw the redness and how much it was bothering her.

So today, for the first time since I can remember, I am completely clean shaven again. Mostly because I don’t want her to have to stop kissing me. It’s a valid reason, shut up.

On the plus side, i no longer have any white hairs on my chin, and they were increasing exponentially to be honest. On the minus side, when I look in the mirror now, I see my old wrinkled face more clearly. Also, I may or may not look like a serial axe murderer now.

Yeeeesh.

Senor Weaselo

So what you’re saying is this past weekend went well? Ass slaps all around!

theeWeeBabySeamus

It hasn’t gone poorly.

Rikki-Tikki-Deadly

“Ha ha, he looks a damned elf!” – Gimli, snickering

nomonkeyfun

Mostly because I don’t want to have to stop kissing me.

Surreptitiously captured image of tWBS this weekend.

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theeWeeBabySeamus

LMFAO

Moose -The End Is Well Nigh
Moose -The End Is Well Nigh

He wishes he was that cut.

theeWeeBabySeamus

Indeed he does. Indeed he does.
(in my youth, but aging is a bitch)

Rikki-Tikki-Deadly

Stupid sexy trangenders!

/not meant as an implication that transgenders are any more stupid than the rest of humanity

Senor Weaselo

Humanity is stupid, ppl forget that. Because they are stupid.
/Also I am stupid for circular logic

Ian Scott McCormick

I do think Espírito Santo should be given some extra credit for having a butt chin.

Sharkbait

Bill O’Brien, suddenly googles estrogen hormones and flights to Sao Palo.

yeah right

We have finally proven beyond a shadow of a doubt:

Booty is in the eye of the beholder.

Senor Weaselo

Is there anything beyond banner? Like DFO mantra?

Sharkbait

I thought the mantra was No Pants. Which, actually is quite relevant.

Moose -The End Is Well Nigh
Moose -The End Is Well Nigh
theeWeeBabySeamus

Does it bother me that my personal choice (and the overwhelming DFO favourite, btw) used to have a penis? No it does not. She’s hot regardless.

And if she gets homesick, I’m more than willing to supply her with another penis.

theeWeeBabySeamus

Yeah you heard me Giovana. Bring your pretty little self on over here.
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scotchnaut

She looks a bit like Danica Patrick. She’ll have you running around in circles.

King Hippo

yeah still very much would

scotchnaut

Finally! A behind-the-scenes video that is really behind the scenes. Also, when your mother sits around the house she really sits around the house!

[adjusts tie nervously]

Game Time Decision

“behind-the-scenes”
Pun intended?

scotchnaut

Absolutely!

Ian Scott McCormick

Joke redacted, because the joke was actually what happened, and I should feel bad commenting before I actually read the article.

theeWeeBabySeamus

While I didn’t see your redacted joke, joking about these things is how we look at them and begin to change attitudes for the better.

But knowing you as little as I do, I’m quite certain you didn’t say anything which you should feel badly about.

Ian Scott McCormick

I wrote “They’re all dudes!” after the surprise twist. And they weren’t all dudes, but some were dudes once, and that’s fine. Point is, I should have actually finished reading before contributing like a Jeopardy contestant.

theeWeeBabySeamus

Also, you didn’t phrase it in the form of a question.
😉

Moose -The End Is Well Nigh
Moose -The End Is Well Nigh

Joke Redacted“…… I like this as a name for something.