I Really Want To Hate On These Guys But Can’t – ‘Niners At The Bye

The ‘Niners are not my team.  I am not a fan.  Far from it, actually.

In fact, one might say I enjoy seeing them suck.  Yes, I’m a petty and vindictive asshole.  But their pain nourishes my soul.  I can’t help it.

So why am I doing this bye week review?  I volunteered actually.

And honestly, I really wanted to write this thing from the “Nyah, Nyah, Nyah” perspective.

But I can’t.  I just can’t.  And here’s why….

Currently, 10 games into the ’18 season, the ‘Niners sit at 2-8.  Their lone wins coming in week 2 vs Detroit (a win which evened their record at 1-1 at the time, btw) and two weeks ago vs Oakland, a blowout of 34-3 proportions (we’ll get to that).  But first, let’s talk about their losses.

As I stated above, the ‘Niners have eight losses. Having said that, five of those losses have been by one possession (@MIN, @LAC, @GB, @AZ, and vs NYG).  Four of them have been by less than a touchdown (@LAC, @GB, @AZ, and vs NYG).

They also lost @KC in a game that was more of a blowout than the final score appeared (38-27) and likely wouldn’t have won that game regardless of a fairly impressive Jimmy Garoppolo comeback attempt.  Problem is that game is the one in which Garoppolo went down with a season ending ACL tear.

Enter CJ Beathard.  Even with Beathard, they were close in all of those games I mentioned above.  Then Beathard goes down to a wrist injury, anyway.

Enter Nick Mullens.  What did he do in his debut as a starter?

16/22 for 262yd, 3TDs against 0INTs.  A passer rating of 151.9.

Granted, it was vs Oakland (sorry again, RTD) but still.  That was the highest passer rating in a QB’s debut since 1970.  Not bad.

Of course he came back to Earth somewhat last week vs the Giants.  Not surprising.  It happens.  A rookie (more or less) QB just isn’t going to put up those kinds of numbers consistently.

What’s my point here?  I’m not sure I have one.

However, the ‘Niners have the overall 10th ranked defense in the league.  Not terrible.  Good enough, one might say.

Offensively, they are 4th in the league on the ground, but 22nd through the air.  19th overall offensively.

Would Garoppolo staying healthy have made a difference?  No way to know, but I think maybe he would have in at least some of those close losses.  So I suppose my point is that this team could have been pretty good.  Maybe not playoff good, when it’s all said and done.  Who knows?  But I suspect they’d be better than 2-8.  And given the warmed over ass most of the rest of the NFC is, they might still at least be in the hunt for a wildcard at this point.

They got a raw deal.  But, that’s football I suppose.

So, what’s gonna happen the rest of the way?

They’re not going to beat the Bears or the Rams.  Probably not the Seahawks in Seattle, either.

The other three?  At home?  I could see all three of those going either way.

Tampa Bay is in a death spiral, and even on the road are ripe for the picking next week.

Seahawks and Broncos at home?  I could see it.  It would take a great effort against the Hox, even at home.  But the Donks have not been a good road team.

Any win they get it’s going to take a Nick Mullens performance closer to the Oakland game than the NYG game.  And while I don’t think he’ll come anywhere near the Oakland performance again, I think he’s better than the NYG performance.  We’ll see.  But I kinda think he’ll get it together and notch another win or two.

So let’s call it 2-4 down the stretch, a final ’18 record of 4-12.  And once again looking forward a better year next year.

And this concludes tonight’s episode of “tWBS knows nothing about this team but did enough research in the middle of the night while on vacation and totally not drunk (as far as you know) to at least sound smart until he’s proven wrong but by then you’ll forget all about this anyway so who cares?”

Good night, and God bless.

(drops mic)

((passes out))

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