As you may know, I went to a beer festival yesterday afternoon. In what is absolutely not a coincidence, the mock draft is four hours late today. This is not, however, because I am hungover, but rather because I took today off from work and my internal clock therefore didn’t register last night that it was Sunday and I needed to get crack-a-lackin’ on a post.
The trick to attending a beer fest and not being hungover is to dump as much beer on the ground as you drink, (there’s no reason to finish that coconut beer you took a chance on and found to be horrible; there’s plenty of others), and then don’t drink alcohol once you get home. Seems pretty simple, but “hey don’t drink until you decide it’s bed time and you won’t feel like shit the next day” probably took me 25 years of legal drinking age to really nail down.
And with that I’ve typed myself right into this week’s draft topic: Common-sense things you know today that you wish you’d learned earlier, or at least put to use earlier.
Let’s see one of you jerks find a featured image featuring little people to fit that topic!
(One of you jerks does so within 6 second. Ah. Yes. Nevertheless)
I’ll go first: Funding your retirement accounts to the maximum amount possible as early as possible. Compound interest is your friend.
Sorry for the brevity of the post today, but we’ve had two straight days without rain here and I need to spend most of the rest of the day outside haying my lawn. Gonna be a good year for the cattle.
The rest of you are on the clock.
Learn a second language. My fluency in Canadien has really enhanced my interactions on this site.
I didn’t truly understand life until learning Hippoese
Civilization has peaked, it’s all downhill from this vehicle
If she isn’t clapping and singing her heart out at the end of The Lord of The Ringos, there’s something wrong with her. Fact!
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=IhDKHo2wapM&ab_channel=richbuskin
I’m a big fan of the Mexican band Los Beatles:
Juan
Pablo
Jorge
Gringo
Don’t overflow the ice cube tray-as you age your thin, weak wrists lose a ton of torque strength and it becomes difficult to twist the tray and release the cubes. You’ll regret not getting the fridge that makes ice cubes because you wanted to teach your wife about saving money on frivolous extras on kitchen appliances.
This seems very specific and personal.
What? No! This is overall great advice for everyone on the site. I don’t care how weak your wrists are! That’s not important. I do wrist curls every day, fyi. And they are really, really strong.
Good with the ice maker. It doesn’t need fucking WiFi
Don’t assume the President of Iran was a good basketball player just because he died in a helicopter crash.
The more salient question-did he play tight end in college at Qom A&M?
it’s fun to assume a&m stands for ass and mouth
ATM means ass to mouth
And if you do it right, it spits out wads.
. . . or a great blues guitarist.
. . . or a great rock music concert promoter.
No, folks, he was none of these things. He was an Islamic cleric, but one who executed thousands of political prisoners, so then you might say he really slayed ’em.
“You’re so wrong Brick-he was an amazing Islamic cleric that killed and imprisoned all his political enemies and didn’t just talk about it in inflammatory speeches that the dumbest of his followers might just act upon. Who knows? It might happen. And if it did happen that would be great. [shrugs]”
-That Guy
Oh is he officially in the Kobe club now?
“Wish I had a Kobe Club so that I could have beat the hell out of that guy.”
-Anonymous hotel employee
Have one very good suit available at all times-you’re going to need to make a sharp impression during that wedding, hanging, stag, storming of the castle, whatever.
Make sure your dog is getting enough cheese.
I’d substitute ‘girlfriend’ here but Brick is living in
20351785.Our dog is a freak that doesn’t get all excited over cheese.
That girl you won’t ask out as she is mousy, glasses and wears really baggy clothes, but has a skinny butt. You are a fucking idiot, she is probably kinky as shit and down for whatever as long as you show her some honest attention and don’t be an asshole.
Whoa. You know Lisa?
We all do.
Ask interesting, insightful questions.
Coincidentally I went to a career day at my high school and gave this same advice, which I decided on at 6:30 in the shower, thanks to seeing it on my college rec the first day I had work-study in Admissions.
2. The more invitations you accept, the more often you are invited to do stuff.
Just because he’s a guy can see having a beer with doesn’t make you should vote for President. Additionally, just because a guy/girl is a stiff, nerd, lacks charisma or is just a complete c—- isn’t a valid reason NOT to vote for President.
No one cares.
Travel. Gotta expand your horizons beyond what you see every day.
This is huge
“Pfft. Horizons are a hoax.” – Kyrie Irving
We would also have accepted “Pilot of the Iranian Presidential helicopter”
Admit when you’re wrong, and apologize sincerely if you hurt someone.
Unless they are just a butthurt crybaby, fuck them.
Corollary: If your apology contains the word, ‘but’, you’re doing it wrong.
Wear sunscreen every day.
Seriously. The dermatologist scared the shit out of me talking about removing the tops of ears all the time.
Maybe your dermie has a kink?
Don’t mix bleach with Drano and then drink it, no matter how delicious it sounds.
The fact that these people survived the pandemic completely disproves Natural Selection.
Multiple posts by Rikki prove that many did not.
Not enough. The gene pool is still toxic.
More like a wading pool of shit and ignorance.
I mean, no pandemic is 100% successful. We got the Covid that we needed, not the Covid that we wanted.
Do build an emergency fund as soon as you can. Then leave it the fuck alone until you absolutely need it. Once you have an emergency fund in a ready access account, save and invests the same as you did to build the emergency fund. Now you can diversify into long-term high interest (but more risk so not the whole nine yards) areas.
You lead a happier life when it’s not sweating the water heater going down.
Everybody’s somebody’s weirdo.
Are you sure about that, BugEyedboo?
As sure as I am about anything.
You’re my weirdo, BugEyedBoo
Applies to me as well, obviously.
I like that one, kinda like “No matter how beautiful or sexy she is, someone, somewhere, is sick of her shit.
One more for me, I have to go to Palm Springs. Give yourself a fucking break! Everybody makes mistakes, don’t beat yourself up about them.
Be on time. Don’t make people wait for you, it’s rude.
Yes. The old… oh… I’m always late… giggle…
Is not some cute character trait. It’s disrespectful of others time.
Don’t ever shittalk Mrs. Horatio and have her find out about it.
Someone is finding that out today. The hard way.
Just hit her with the ole…
No you’re thinking of…
Based on these replies I should clarify that it is not me. So these suggestions would probably just make things worse.
Sometimes you have to walk away. Sometimes you have to stay and fight. The trick is knowing when to do what.
/hums Coward of the County
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=jcFKlEfu_eU
Hockey World Championship games are a choice between Finland/Denmark and Poland/Kazaksomething. Giving off major Week Thirteen 4pm NFL window vibes…
Per Chris Rock – “If you are at the ATM at 3 a.m. you need to reconsider some life choices.”
I’ve done that playing poker. Once I lost a bunch of money to a guy who was drinking and doing coke. I knew I’d get my money back if I stayed at that table long enough, and by God I did.
Same here. I sat down across from some blowhard who thought he was a genius who knew everything. To borrow a friend a phrase from Stone Cold Steve Austin, I stomped a mud hole in that d-bags’s bankroll and walked it dry.
THAT WAS YOU!?!?
I saw that movie it was called The Hustler.
Loved the magazine version of that movie!
Agreed, though I feel their use of a pool cue didn’t exactly match canon.
My amazing Dyan Cannon joke will be falling flat because she posed in Playboy. GOD DAMN EVERYTHING!
Listen to your inner voice. If it tells you something/someone is a Bad Idea, run far, run fast!
You don’t have to answer the doorbell/phone just because it rings.
Maybe Steve Albini just liked being contrary. He went on a little mini-rant in an interview about how if you don’t answer your phone when it rings you’re a worthless POS that shouldn’t even own a phone. Pretty safe to say he was way wrong there.
“lol sure buddy”
-dogs
You are under no obligation to have an opinion on something.
Oh, so you want Facebook to fade away into nothing? [rubs chin thoughtfully] Wait a second…
‘Yeah, well, you know, that’s just, like, your opinion, man.’
Dude…
Women find confidence sexy.
Confidence and arrogance are two different things.
When she says, “keep doing that”, keep doing that.
And more, when you get praise of any sort be mindful of it and know that your partner is telling you that this is behavior that they would like you to repeat because it makes them happy.
/was raised in a household where praise was a rarely-seen endangered species
If you are at all interested in giving your partner an orgasm, for the love of God, KEEP DOING THAT!
In my 20’s I interpreted that as ‘Go Faster!’. So many easy multiple orgasms lost, like tears in the rain…
Is it strange that men achieve orgasm in thirty seconds yet women don’t have them at all?
It took me a long time to learn that my wife is just venting about her day and not lookin for suggestions on how to fix it. So, just listen, and check if they want advice
Oh, Amen, my brother!
Counterpoint:
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=-4EDhdAHrOg
https://ibb.co/StfwTx8
Build a solid reputation for reliability. If you promise something do it. If you cannot or will not do something say so. If your word isn’t worth shit, you will probably have issues in life.
And always own up to your mistakes, hell, get ahead of the issue by reporting them as soon as you make them. I have found this really helps your reputation if you work in a good work environment.
Absolutely. Owning it enhances your reputation. People see through cover ups and respect honesty.
Way too many people think that owning up to a mistake is a sign of weakness when in fact not owning a mistake is the glaring weakness.
And learn how to lie profusely.
Don’t eat a heavy meal on a date if you’re wanting to have sex afterwards.
Pro Tip : you can always let her get on top.
Not if she ate a heavy meal.
When in doubt, go to the doctor. All that wear and tear adds up.
Don’t always be afraid of pissing people off or losing friends, you lose them or piss them off, then fuck’em. I think I would have had a great time in High School if I had followed that advice.
Oh, and to go along with that – “No, you don’t need a Member’s Only jacket.”
For tools and appliances, hell, most things, you get what you pay for.
The $3 saw is a piece of shit?
Do you don’t say.
There’s no need to break the bank and get the most expensive, just stay away from the least expensive stuff
I can’t stress this one enough. We’re bombarded with “Low Price Is The King” by the likes of Walmart and Costco but so much of it is garbage. Wifey bought t-shirts for the kids at Walmart at around $9 and they had the integrity of a paper towel.
Yeah especially tools. Don’t put your limbs in jeopardy by purchasing cheap power tools.
It’s not “common sense” per se but: no amount of Smart and Hot can overcome genuinely Crazy.
Not like the comedian “bitches be trippin'” crazy. I mean straight up Not Rational on Major Issues.
Also beauty fades, dumb is forever
When in Rome…
“Uh, roam if you want to?”
-Kate Pierson
Roam around the world.
That’s awesome!
Believe it or not the quickest place to get dinner. The restaurants in the evening become 3 hour events, which is fine but I have other commitments tonight.
Off topic but the Prosecution is really Bungling the Trump case.
And if our resident Bungles fan says so, you know it’s serious
Yeah. We’re not quite Pac-Man/Vontaze or waltzing into Indy with our WR room guest starring in a MASH episode, but I’m getting full Red Rocket fumbling when falling on his face vibes here.
Any case that relies heavily on Michael Cohen’s credibility not being compromised is in trouble before the opening statements.
It doesn’t rely that heavily on it, though. Even if you discounted every word of his testimony, there’s no reasonable narrative that’s been presented that would account for all the other evidence and testimony.
If the glove don’t fit, you must acquit?
More like, you can trust Cohen, he’s full of shit.
*can’t
A Trump lawyer and confidant – you don’t say. 😉 And I assume you meant can’t trust.
I’ve been following it pretty closely, and I’m of the exact opposite impression.
They relied too much on Cohen, giving the jury multiple “reasonable doubt” off-ramps. You don’t want the jury to have a reason to go “But maybe…”
I get RTD’s overall point, but Redshirt hits the main concern I have, which is that the jury only needs reasonable doubt. If Mike Cohen says anything I have a reasonable doubt that it’s true. If your closing argument includes anything close to “you can discount every word or star witness told you and still…” you have problems.
Sure, the guy oozes slime. But I think the counterargument for Cohen in this particular case is, “He did go to jail for exactly what the Trump trial is about.”
Allowing in that photo of Trump and Schiller together from right before the phone call that the defense argued so strenously against Trump having participated in will have gone a *long* way towards boosting Cohen’s credibility. Which I don’t think was as much in doubt as the media has framed it, anyways.
There’s a little arrow next to the GAS PUMP symbol in you car. That tells you which side of the car the gas cap is on.
I didn’t learn that until like 5 years ago.
I learned it right now.
For the Sporty Types: It may be tedious and time-consuming but be sure to properly rehab your injuries when you’re in your 20’s and 30’s. Maybe you’ll end up favoring that knee, ankle or shoulder anyway but you’ll be giving your future old self the best chance if you don’t rush through the process.
Along the same lines for running is to track your distance and look to replace the shoes after 300 or 400 miles. Your knees will thank you
I’m too proud to make this comment myself.
That there’s no universal way to attract members of the opposite (or same!) sex. Just because a technique works well for someone else does not necessarily mean it will (or even can) work for you.
Kids today already have too much useful information at their fingertips. Information I had to glean The Hard Way for decades. Now the jewish media is always looking for a story on a disruptor and you want me to give away my secrets to these little Marlo Stanfields?
Fine.
Lean in to your cellphone. It’s the greatest advantage you have. Never not do what your phone makes easy for you.
Don’t listen to someone who tells you “You can’t do this. This isn’t for you. This isn’t for people like you. You don’t belong here.”
Only you can put limits on yourself.
Is that comment being made to Snow White as she tries to leave the ‘boat party’?
No, Matt Gaetz, outside a Junior Prom.
An offshoot of this that worked for me: Set your goals ridiculously high. I’ve done this for workout goals and in my business life in the hopes that I could come near them. In the former I came very close (body fat) and in the latter ended up stunning myself and partners by exceeding what I had set out to do.
Learn how to cook and try and cook most of your own food!
Do you have any idea how much money you’ll save?
Always have a backup to whatever the primary is you are doing. Think it through before starting. So if plan A goes sideways on you, you quickly try something else that has also been thought through.
Learn how to play a musical instrument
Budget your money and track your expenses
With computers and apps it’s easier than ever!
Once you start seeing how much the average 30 year old spends on fast food your disposable income can go way up when you cut down
And don’t even get me started on those damn vending machines that take debit cards
How many Lowratio tall boys (half pints) did you have?
I believe I’ve checked 24 new beers into Untapp’d since last night, and I have more to go.
Keep in mind that these are 3 oz. pours, and I might have completely finished 4 of those. At beer fest I try to sample things I ordinarily wouldn’t try, especially if I had to pay for a whole pint, and man can that backfire spectacularly.
The early red flags raised by a woman to indicate that she is bat shit insane and how to disentangle from said insane chupacabra of a woman.
Electric shavers as opposed to blades
I use a Braun Series 7 (they’re up to Series 9 now!). I prefer foil shavers as opposed to rotary kind. Just a personal preference. I use a pre-shave before and Harry’s post-shave balm afterwards. I am metrosexual you’d think I [describes sinful act].
Sorry, I guess that’s all I got.
https://ibb.co/1Q37qm9