Welcome BACK to Murrika’s favoUrite holiday, where we celebrate Native American slaughter by eating more than a third world family does in a year, getting blackout drunk, and falling asleep watching good old American FITBAW! Scotchy continues to be annoyed by non-sportsball matters, so I am stepping in. Don’t worry, I am tired of reading my gibberish too.
Vertically Enhanced Persons (+3.5) at Non-Gendered Cowpersons (4:30, FOX)
I should have gone with the Greendale Human Being for this banner pic, but I didn’t want to add to the day’s vomitorium count. Speaking of vomit? Jesus, this game. Blessed be those who ate turkey at midday, for theirs shall be the Kingdom of Nap. Me, on the other hand? I just made my insta-pot chimichurri chicken (the closest I come to cooking) and sifted the cat’s shitbox. Don’t b all jelly.
Anyway, Horse Cock Lock, fresh off his hissy fit at NOT being the designated tank driver – gets his turn in the barrel, one short week later. They dun killed Tommy Cutlets!! Dallas is fresh off a win, somehow, someway. Or maybe we know the way – they’s 4-2 on the road, 0-5 in the House That Jerral Built. I just don’t know how even these maximally-dysfuctional ‘Persons can manage to lose to this version of the VEP. They’re not even trying anymore – which makes the first 11 weeks even sadder. This was REALLY the best these shitdicks could do, y’all.
Dallas wins. What the fuck is the world coming to?
Still haven’t eaten. Meanwhile, you east coast vastards are already in deep food comas.
I just had seconds.
I am not long for this world*
*being awake
May as well post it before the LTD Purge Sirens sounds:
Bing Crosby, David Bowie – Peace On Earth / Little Drummer Boy
This game seems to be wrecking family dynamics so much you would think A A Ron was playing.
Just think, we could’ve had Daniel Jones playing against the Giants. Also, the score would be far closer.
“Screw this I’m eating” is the most relatable Brady’s ever sounded.
Also Harvey Weinstein, after being told ‘no’
Cellmate: “C’mon, Harvey. I wanna make you a star!”
Where we’re going, we don’t need chodes
Ok Drew Lock, do something stupid
Holy fuck.
Definitely over starched. Jesus.
“I haven’t seen a job in Dallas finished off so thoroughly since LBJ personally handed the Locarno rifle to Marina Oswald in the second week of November!”
-J. Ruby
Lot of empty seats in Jerry Jones’s Dallas Sport-a-torium of Blinding Sun.
We ate at like 2pm at my inlaws. We’re back home now. I have no idea what to do the rest of the day.
Might I suggest a beer? Or 8?
I’ve been drinking whiskey since 11. Wine midday. Then vermouth. Not a beer in sight. Not even sure this is America.
Gin?
That’s your answer to everything.
Not saying it’s wrong; just pointing out an observable fact.
Based on last night’s discussions, have you considered Chinese food?
My suggestion of soup dumplings was met with “go look in the fridge”.
My friends, the fridge has rice and vegetables. There were no soup dumplings there.
You, right now:
We had dinner at 2 as well but holding off drinking til night game so can stay awake through it and let gasx do its work in the mean time.
“I don’t want to throw that slant”
-Bill Parcells, making one of his assistants cut the Asian WR.
watching game on mute on computer and walked to another room with volume just to hear Tombot going max fluff mode on mccarthy, and I thought I was full of gas right now
Me (Two plays ago): “I can’t wait to see how Dallas turns this long bomb into a FG”
Flagkakke might bail Dallas out…and it does!!!
First music I hear today is TLDB on the airport shuttle. Couldn’t even make it through Thanksgiving
https://giphy.com/explore/hahhahahahaha-im-out
Isn’t December yet, you good.
You’re still okay!
It starts at 12:01 Black Friday!
Phew! This changes everything
I got hit on Monday. I had to look it up to see if it hadn’t started yet or if I lived up to my name.
Watching this game is like if I actually clicked on one of those “Two Homeless Guys Fight Over $1 Bill” vides, but it’s Thanksgiving and I’m several beers deep, so what are ya gonna do?
Damn it. No food yet. I have to drive home later, so I’m already not drinking.
Watching this game is like watching a porno sponsored by Vigara: there’s potential for explosive action but it never happens.
Family dinner over. Son and father departed. Brother and I left drinking beer and making horrible comments about pretty much everything.
Life is good.
Just on a break from class. Why is Jessica Simpson playing the halftime show? This isn’t a Romo game.
This is We Have Jessica Simpson At Home
I should point out I can’t hear anything, which seems good since… Jellyroll(?) just started.
Laney Wilson has the best ass in country music.
Or so I’ve been told.
I didn’t notice
Pretty unfair to George Strait if you ask me
*had
Someone stopped doing squats and deadlifts.
https://twitter.com/4_Ben_Media/status/1862281283012804740
“Come on, Giants-Cowboys! You were supposed to prevent people from talking about politics over the holiday! Not leave them with no other option!”
Watching this game after the hilarity of the Bears tilt is like watching Zoolander and then following it up with In the Bedroom.
On the plus side, at least Brady has to call this turd of a game. When he could be open-mouth kissing his kids on a holiday smgdh.
Makes sense why he’s announcing. Gives him a valid excuse to skip two family dinners with exes.
I appreciate your selection of banner images.
I have been on the road and getting ready so I just heard about the Bears. LOL.
3rd and 9, dial up a route well short of the sticks, drop it anyways, yeah, this is a Giants game all right.
And they only trail because of Horse Cock’s pick 6! Such a time to be a Cowperson
The Giants kicker’s nickname is “The Scottish Hammer”.
Remember when this was considered a marquee game?
Tua Tagovailoa, however, does not.
No
This game is now part of the enhanced interrogation techniques at Guantanamo Bay.
SUDDEN CHANGE!
This implies consequence.
Oh, yeah. Now I remember Drew Lock.
Return of the Lockpick
We’re all expecting McCarthy to get fired today, right?
As soon as Belichick signs on the line, McCarthy is being escorted off the property by security.
And Eberflus.
Jerrah seems like he would wait till Christmas
Eve
Is this his Army Hearings? But he has never had any decency.
Have the Cowboy D in all 4 leagues. Bet the Gints
Drew Lock: “Franchise” Quarterback?
Sure, he could totally own a McDonalds some day
Lookit that!
It needs more airplay than it’s received – after pulling Dimebag due to his contractual “$23M injury guarantee” clause…they made him play scout team safety in practice. A year off a torn ACL.
Maybe it’s the nostalgia seeping in but the first time the turducken was wheeled out, it was something different and cool-not something you’d associate with the league usually.
This game should end in either a 0-0 or a 2-2 tie.
/not watching any games today
not even the GOOD one??
normal work day for me and have playoffs for my old man’s lacrosse league in a hour or so, so, maybe will get to watch some of the late game, assuming that the “good” one*, after my game
*spoiler: it won’t be as i will be able to watch.
Wife’s bday going out to a far too expensive resto. My friends are taking Deci bowling…
I guess this IS technically still football, right?
Football-like substance is more accurate
Given how broken the machine appears to be, it’s the ice milk of football.
Meat-flavored sandwich.
I’ve counted 4 missed tackles in the last three plays.
/and the Giants haven’t even warmed up yet
Horse Cock on the sideline looked like he’d entered Unleash the Dragon mode, too
Does playing the trumpet for the anthem on national tv mean they couldn’t get someone famous or they are trying to avoid controversy?
No one spoil the National Dog Show, brought to me by Purina™️, on NBC, for me. Thanks.
Shibu Inu didn’t win, so the fix was in.
They never show Bernese Mountain Dogs, just those whore Papillons & Standard Poodles.
Pug, pug, pug, pug.
.
Sideline Reporters in the Booth? Is that legal?!
In THIS economy?!
Seis leches? En esta economía!?
Exactamundo.
Remember when this was a premiere matchup? I, too, remember the late 80s/early 90s.
For old folk like me it has the sheen of an important tilt.
It’s more Charlie Sheen than Martin Sheen these days.
Giants celebrating Tanksgiving this year.
/here all night, etc.,