O come, all ye drunkards,
Boozed up and recumbent!
O come ye, O come ye to
DoorFliesOpen
Come and behold Him
Born the King of Footsie!
O come, let us adore Him, (3×)
Rex Ryaaaan the Lord.
How the fuck you doin’, boys?
It’s kind, damn kind of you to invite me to this fine Christmas Eve. Although to be honest, Rob and I have always preferred Saturnalia, on account of all the gambling, the orgies, things of that nature.
But Christmas is great too. You know how much I love stuffed stockings all year ’round. And one year we were in Amsterdam when those Dutch bastards put out their wooden shoes…well, it put the Red Light District to shame, let me tell you what.
Regardless of what you are celebrating, the shit-throwing monkeys who run this site asked me to wish you a Merry Whateverthefuck and a Happy Fuck Your Mother.
[Zach Wilson has entered the chat]
AUTHORS NOTE: Remember to set your lineups, make your picks and renew your Netflix free trial- we’ve got football tomorrow!
(checks phone)
This always happens when I fall asleep while watching a game.
That *is* fun.
Checking in on a JJfozz christmas
https://www.youtube.com/live/3LJsEC_m4T8
Well, I survived this year’s Christmas double, and I definitely did the speed limit on both 287 and I-80! You know, for legal reasons.
See?
That’s a present.
https://youtube.com/watch?v=iw9V3FO_5Pw&si=CCKbBAWGmKzx4eUX
https://youtube.com/watch?v=cSs3FyeThM0&si=CQq8flH4ExdryG-u
https://youtube.com/watch?v=t039p6xqutU&si=spFJPXmu-EXyBTAF
Best friend and his wife used to have a completely normal house in the daytime on Christmas Eve.
Kids go to bed.
All hell breaks loose.
String the entire inside of the apartment with lights, build every goddamn toy from fucking nuts and bolts.
Mom starts dinner at like 3:15 AM.
They’re drinking wine and tequila and beer the whole time.
And it turned out perfectly each time that I can remember.
And they put up a TREE!
Can’t say they’re not devoted.
It was not normal but it was kind of incredible.
Goodnight my darling dears. Merry fucking Christmas!
It’s always the hat for me…
Happy happy everyone.
Best to all of you and thank you for being my void that responds when I yell into it.
I love you people.
Not more than family.
Exactly like family.
Ref: “This is the end of the game.”
Me: “Sure glad you cleared that up, because that crowd was getting ready for Double Jeopardy, where the scores can really change!”
BLEERGH:
Michael Keaton as Batman “You wanna get nuts?!”
I still think they should have these count as 6 points instead of only 2. If it reaches the 3rd OT, let the score go nuts.
I guess this means I survived the LDB challenge again this year.
I not only didn’t survive.
They drew me into a sold out arena, with a big slab of frozen ice.
Then they blasted that shit out for a solid 4 minutes.
It was an execution chamber!
It was horrible actually.
What a way to reward both kickers with clutch kicks by banning them from the field for the remainder of the contest.
Hawaii Bowl is broken and very drunk already.
And Blax just got there!
This referee does like the sound of his voice. I’m waiting for him to start calling down and distance and counting down the play clock.
MOAR FOOTBALL WHAT IS FREE!!!
(Unless they go for 2, which they should: it’s Xmas Eve)
The Gary Show
Starring Bink Pancake and Trevel Seltzy. Written by Ayn Rand.
https://www.facebook.com/cris.shapan/videos/10207702408733763
https://ibb.co/10xgdNv
(Cris Shapan)
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=xXxU0OxjEA8
4th and 1 from the 3, down 7, in OT.
Mike McCarthy sends out the FG unit.
Zac Taylor punts and plays Field Position.
Rizzi and Carr further maims all their starting skill players
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Mz8phJG_bmk
Christmas in Napoli
That’s lovely.
Me: I’ll wait for my wife to go to bed, that fill up her stocking, (NAWT a euphemism), and set out her gifts.
Mrs. Horatio: I am going to stay up all night!
Been there, done that.
https://youtu.be/E72kP6vM3J0?t=60
Free football in the Hawai’i High School Band Invitational / Bowl Game.
That’ll do South Florida and San Jose State. That’ll do.
Really should have tried an onsides kick there. What the hell, right?
I’m more surprised when they took a knee when the defense wasn’t set or even lined up. If I’m the QB, I don’t care if I’m in a kneel down formation. If I can get my RB into full running stride while the defense is flat footed and not paying attention, I’m doing it.
Unless they were doing a Prevent Defense, but it didn’t look like a normal Prevent Defense. It looked like a Defense that was phoning it in.
Boink’lar has blessed lesser footie with overtime
one thing with the pandemic came to appreciate curated DJ sets over the various algorithms let alone AI, listening to such a smooth DJ Jazzy Jeff set on twitch
Merry Christmas in advance, folks.
I’ll be at my mother’s, where not only do we not have Netflix, we don’t have wifi or more than the most basic of basic cable. We might be able to get a basketball game on, but that’s probably it.
Yes, I have thought of gifting my mother wifi for Xmas, or just in general, or paying for a better cable package, or both.
And then I consider how right her views have already drifted and then I decide I can suck it up on various holidays.
Depending on how long you’re there, it would be worth bringing your own modem, router, and AppleTV
Home Alone AKA Saw for Kids!
Honest Action – Home Alone – YouTube
Watching the original now
merry xmas from hell doctor
Next up, Dec 13th Redbreast 19yr
sounds like Matt Gaetz text but a little too aged for his tastes
Merry Christmas Eve all
Here’s to 20 anniversery of a ghost of Christmas past
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=h0W05mDljPw
https://ibb.co/Tc6zqzG
These robes are pretty fabulous, but I am really confused as to who the target audience is for these things. Is buff gay men really that large of a market segment?
Maybe it’s for sugar daddies? All the female models seem to be a bit older
https://ibb.co/BrMpqC8
And looks like the main difference between the men’s and women’s robes is that the women’s robes don’t have pockets. WTF, weird robe store!?
“No concealed weapons!”
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=51Ew5EjQ3RY
What did you and AI do to Morgan Fairchild?
Andrew Tate is a big fan, so apparently it’s marketed at buff closeted gay men.
Of course my local township has the approved Santa Claus Delivery Route starting at a local brewery. Because if circumstances lead you to end up in Ohio, you need a drink.
https://ibb.co/7zT82NB
Feel the magic
We have a Santa pic with our kids really young like this. We laugh about it every year when it gets put out
“Click Click Click Click” (1950)
https://www.facebook.com/cris.shapan/videos/10217916844288268
https://ibb.co/PTK4ZtH
(Cris Shapan)
Time for a bit more Scotch advent calendar catchup!
Dec 10th: Lagg Corriecravie Oloroso Finish
Initial sniff tells me it’s peaty, apparently it’s from the Isle of Arran and they traditionally do unpeated scotches, but built an entire second distillery to start doing peat!
Uh, due to unforeseen circumstances, Santa may be slightly delayed in starting his routes.
DR. MRS. DEADLY, ESQ.: They’re expecting us at six-thirty, so let’s leave here at six-fifteen.
EVENT IN QUESTION: [is literally two houses away]
It takes a while to vacuum the yards.
There’s a non-zero chance the Deadly Family owns a leaf blower
RTD at 6:14
It’s actually taken me a long time to stop being super early to things, now I’m only slightly early most of the time so I would say leave at 6:25
Well they’ll never expect that.
Cripple Cop!
In Color!
https://www.facebook.com/cris.shapan/videos/10222139735297904
https://ibb.co/wQcV28t
(Cris Shapan)
12.5% cider? You’re awfully sweet, cider.
Unsurprised telling fellow members of the clubhouse about cider (artist’s conception):
(I’m kidding, of course. If it’s got booze in it, we absolutely want to know more.)
It’s delicious, but not boozy in the least. So I’m curious when the 12.5% kicks in.
This is part of a bigger issue now that I suddenly had a desire to get drunk, but no reason to because I’d just be drunk and sitting on my couch watching movies, and I already do that sober.
If it’s a boring movie you’ll be less annoyed?
Excellent work!
I love how everyone repeatedly declined my offer of beef tacos until my food was hot and ready at which point the Dr. Mrs. proposed that I should make a fish taco for her mother, and her mother assented.
She’s just excited to break out the new vacuum.
VACUUM THIS: A PORN PARDOY OF RIKKI’S LIFE
“Hey, you wanna see a fish taco? Let’s see yours first.”
(a threeway begins, because it’s actually her stepmom so it’s okay)
And that’s my Xmas gift to you!
Stop recording my dreams.