Hello there fellow DFO’er. Hope you’re well today. And thanks for coming back to see last weeks tl;dr of last week as decided by my brain. There’s no reason as to why some comments make it and others don’t. Seriously. There isn’t.
This weeks cheesy motivational quote is:
“Guilt is perhaps the most painful companion of death [in bed].”
Coco Chanel
This is why you need to just do things. No regrets. It’s 2025, and we’re in the darkest of timelines, so go fucking do it. However, when you fuck it up, please post the video.
Without further ado, here are the comments of the week.
“The reason I think I’m going to get it is because I’m the best guy for it. It ain’t close. The thing you have to do is, you have to connect with your football team, you have to connect with your fan base. The way they play, that’s the most important thing. It’s not just the Xs and Os and all that. This Ben Johnson, I love him, I absolutely love him, but I’m a better candidate for this job than he would be.”
Rex Ryan
SonOfSpam
I’m already enjoying the Rex Ryan II era with the Jets.
SonOfSpam
Rex is all in, feet first.
Horatio Cornblower
January 6th and, thanks to a yeoman amount of work at the end of last year, I am one 1 pm phone call from being ahead of my to-dos.
Now to take a big sip of tea and check my emails…
Horatio Cornblower
I’m trying to get back in the swing of things, after the latest few weeks I’ve had. A couple of dev and QA folks asked me, “When can we meet?” I told them, “Not today.”
BugEyedBoo
BeefReeferLives
I’ve thinking about this a lot lately, and I am going to officially retire and hang up my Seahawks poncho, as well as retire my old, tired, and worn out Earl Thomas jersey. My bday is in May, and I think as a treat for myself, I’m gonna get the poncho framed. Not sure if I should try to get it cleaned and mended or leave it as is for the framing.
It’s been a good run of 10+ years. A lot of Seahawks wins, lots of spilled beer, rain, sleet, snow, ice, boobs, garlic fries (IYKYK), tears, high fives, sweat, great asses and awful asses, even more beer, tacos, drunk arguments, double high fives, sausage dogs (Al’s Gourmet!), somehow even more beer, Top Gun high fives, and that one time we don’t talk about have all happened on/to/over/with the poncho.
It’s an end of an era.
/pours one out for the poncho
//MrsSloth comes in and wonders why I’m day drinking ON A MONDAY
ThePirateSloth
It is 9:20 p.m. and the Dr. Mrs. is steaming the floor.
Sure wish she’d steam some hams instead.
Rikki-Tikki-Deadly
Word on the street is that Deshawn Watson’s recovery process isn’t going well and might prevent him from playing next season. Sure, THAT’s why he won’t be playing next season
Doktor Zymm
It seems like his story won’t have a happy ending.
Jimbo
Guess who turned 13 years old today!
Rikki-Tikki-Deadly
Is it your trustiest vacuum?
BrettFavresColonoscopy
The hero the Cincinnati Bengals and their fans didn’t want but the hero that we deserved.
Redshirt
We’ve lost power here in Glendale-adjacent L.A. So I’m wisely using the little battery life I have left running my phone as a wifi hotspot and logging in via my tablet so I can be with you folks here, at the end of all things.
Rikki-Tikki-Deadly
“Addictive Mustache Wax” may just be my FF team name next season.
LemonJello
Even with how this season ended for my Bengals, somehow it could be worse.
Redshirt
In addition to stocking up on scotch, I also picked up a bottle of marshmallow liqueur, and am currently enjoying a s’more cocktail of that, chocolate liqueur, and bourbon, in a glass with a graham cracker rim. Seems appropriate while LA burns.
Dunstan
Mr. Ayo
I don’t know about Toronto, hopefully I’ll be out from under this damn house, but who can say? I’m making brownies (not that kind!) Henry loves a warm spot!
Gumbygirl
Aww, what a shame. Penn State couldn’t come from behind when they needed it most.
Beerguyrob
Hey, the guy who shot up Comet Pizza several years ago just committed suicide by cop.
So that’s something.
Horatio Cornblower
Yes, but how does affect the Leafs?
Brick Meathook
It’s official, RAMMMMMMIT game moved to Arizona.
Congrats to Cards fans, getting a home playoff game.
SonOfSpam
BWHAHAHAHA!!!!
Redshirt
Never forget
2Pack
Chuck Berry crawled so Diddy could fly
Sharkbait
Chuck Berry demanded cash at the end of all his shows; he had a gun ready to make sure he got it.
Diddy is softer than baby oil in comparison.
SonOfSpam
Now, we head to redshirt for a quote:
Brocky
I managed to get out of jury duty without having to sob
and beg. The pre-trial festivities start Monday, and I have a confirmed doctor’s appointment, so neener! I was stuck in Indio all afternoon though before I was excused. I’m really glad to get out of it, the trial is expected to go to the end of the month, and it’s achild molestation charges Multiple. . No thank you very much, I don’t need that horror show right now, or ever, for that matter
Gumbygirl
Did you treat yourself to a date shake afterwards?
ballsofsteelandfury
I don’t see how an evening with Micheal J. Fox is going to help her.
LemonJello
MRS. DEADLY-IN-LAW: [puts two eggs in a saucepan with about 3/4″ of water]
MRS. DEADLY-IN-LAW: [cranks heat to max]
MRS. DEADLY-IN-LAW: [leaves room]
MRS. DEADLY-IN-LAW: [does not come back]
Rikki-Tikki-Deadly
It’s only a 2 score game, but the Shitty Clippers should be waaayy more embarrassed than the score implies
32-12 is scorigami, so let’s see one more TD w/ extra point for the power of IMAGINATION
Doktor Zymm
Dicker endorsed for the NFL Man of the Year by the National Organization for Women
ballsofsteelandfury
“It was a close race, but he finished just a few inches ahead of the competition”
-Deanna Favre, Commissioner, National Organization for Women
Cecil Rhodes
They’re evacuating Encino? The fires might thaw out Pauly Shore!
Doktor Zymm
I had an interesting thing happen to me at work. I got written up for using “fake swear words”.
I was told that simply using “son of a biscuit” could still offend someone because of how my intent could be construed.
I was asked if I had anything to say in my defense.
“No. I don’t know how you’ll take my intent”.
JustStopDude
“We’re all fucking adults here. Can we at least act like it up in this bitch?”
Mr. Ayo
Interior Fozz: “Okay, that’s enough bourbon. You’re slugging it down like milk. Tomorrow is gonna suck.”
Exterior Fozz: ” WELL FUCK YOU I LOVE PAIN AND FUCK AND I DON’T KNOW FUCK THE STEELERS? I’M HAPPY! LET ME BE HAPPY! WHERE THAT’S BOURBLE?”
jjfozz
Post game show highlighted a Ravens fan who gets a tattoo after every Ravens win. His wife does the tattooing. This entire city is populated by lunatics. I’m glad that I can say my DNA relfects this.
jjfozz
Steelers can’t stop the pass, but they make up for it by not being able to stop the run.
BugEyedBoo
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Doktor Zymm
When Derrick Henry surveyed the breadth of his domain, he wept, for there were no more defenders to punch.
Unsurprised
I didn’t realize the tariffs on steel had already kicked in
Doktor Zymm
Lamar at least leaving to locker room to take a shit, while the Steelers are just doing it on the field
Gatoraids
I can totally see my house! (in the non-burning distance)
Brick Meathook
That’s an amazing horrible pic.
SonOfSpam
Said it in the last thread, and I’m saying it here:
I guess Harbaugh now has time to help Dean Spanos pack up & evacuate the mansion.
Beerguyrob
I don’t think we’ll see back-to-back Harbaugh losses, but it would be lovely if we did.
SonOfSpam
I kinda want the Donks to win this.
Spur
So did 48.4% of voters but here we are.
Jimbo
I see the Packers could use a kicker.
I’m sure their fans would like to bicker.
I assume they want a guy they can trust,
When the game is on the line, focus is a must.
I happen to know a guy, his name is Cameron Dicker.
ThePirateSloth
This game is out of reach. I think I’m going to take a bath. Later taters!
Gumbygirl
You are slipping GG, there are no swears in this komment.
litre_cola
Gumbygirl
Y’all, I invited Unsurprised over yesterday for foosball and beers, with the promise of game time nachos and a “we’ll figure out more food later” – which turned out to be excellent bahn mi sammiches – but he told me on his way over that he brought some extra chips. We didn’t dive into this chips or even get them out. We agreed for same time today, and he left the chips here last night.
I finally took a look at the chips after he left – this man came into my home and brought 4 bags of Tim’s chips: 2 All Dressed (Olive oil, vinegar, onion, garlic flavors), 1 Jalepeno, AND 1 SMOKEY PEPPER BACON all extra thick and crunchy chips… and was so humble he never mentioned a word about these delicious as fuck chips he brought.
Now I am scrambling to up my foosball watching food choices for today. How the fuck do I top that? Unsurprised’s Chip Game sure is a surprise and is Top Fucking Tier.
ThePirateSloth
WOOOOOOOOHOOOOOOOO!
**Runs through clubhouse with a WAS bandanna wrapped around my lady wingwang or however that works**
Doktor Zymm
Thanks for the GAMBLOR advice! I bailed out at $249.
Redshirt
Smart man.
Now go put it all in crypto.
Horatio Cornblower
I hear good things about the Hawk Tuah coin.
SonOfSpam
Redshirt
Can we all patt ourselves on the butt for giving Redshirt good advice and a double patt to Redshirt for cashing out?
ballsofsteelandfury
Indeed. You’re welcome coward, I mean, Redshirt.
Mr. Ayo
We’re all in agreement that ‘The Disturber’ as a nickname for Mayfield is dumber than hammered shit, right?
Horatio Cornblower
Did y’all miss me during the afternoon game?
Good, because I’m not sticking around for this one either.
BrettFavresColonoscopy
THIS GUY BRETTFAVRESCOLONOSCOPY I CALL HIM ASHLEE BABBIT CLIMBING THROUGH A BROKEN WINDOW BECAUSE HE THINKS HE’LL BE MISSED BUT HE WON’T.
Rikki-Tikki-Deadly
For the record, all that Piratey stuff they just did was highly offensive.
ThePirateSloth
Every morning Mike Tirico slams his nuts in between the toilet seat and the toilet.
This allows him to say, “Well, working with Cris sucks, but not as bad as slamming your balls between the toilet seat and the toilet.”
jjfozz
Mrs. Cola demands more saxamaphone
litre_cola
SonOfSpam
(Wipes away tear with pride)
WCS
Brisket!
Beerguyrob
Brisket!!
Beerguyrob
Brisket!!!
Beerguyrob
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Thanks for all the comments and funny and everything else.
NOTE banner image from here
Here’s an outstanding photo of all the crap on my windshield with everything else out of focus.
That’s some good shootin’ Brick!
I’ll sell you a museum quality print of this for
$5000$19.99. Buy one for yourself and one for a loved one. Makes a fine gift. Order today.https://ibb.co/YL9V6dM
I thought that was a picture of a swarm of Nurgle’s plague flies.
Yeah . . . . that’s what it is!
Sir, I can tell you have an excellent eye. How many would you like?
Being stoned and watching RiffTrax, no chat WCS so I am not ignoring you, from movie “Let’s hunt monsters”, response – “Unofficial motto of eHarmony”
https://twitter.com/AnnieAgar/status/1879283607312957805
She’s so good!
Boss 2 levels above me (who has had the products explained to him, but he has never used or worked with) telling me how I am to create a new computerized process and how I am to do it, even though it cannot do these tasks as the system does not have that functionality. And it is all in corpo speak – just why, and this is a personal pet project he came up with.
Everytime, they are told, it cannot be done- get corpo back for “Think differently. Think outside the box” – if the system can not do it, it can not do it. Starting to reach Fozz levels of rage.
Can you just change the color of something and say you’re done? Doesn’t sounds like he’s gonna check
oh, he will, he will, he wants to present it to upper management and get the go ahead to monitize by adding it as a new product.
Just tell him how outrageously expensive it will be. That will kill it right there.
we deal with the pharma companies – which is why I hope my job is recession proof
“pharma companies, eh? You, uh, do any programming for the distribution side of things?”
-King Hippo
nope
Lame. At least it sounds like he’ll probably end up looking like an ass, just hope he doesn’t take you down with him
this is one of the myriad reasons to smoke powerful indica.
“Can’t you just like…hack the system to do it?”
-blaxabbath, organization leader
Adults in the fucking room. Pudding head just got outshined by this stupid fucking chickenshit loser as a peacemaker before he even walks back into the White House. Fucking pathetic.
Less death is good.
And I do not and will never have enough background there to even suggest how to fix it, but hoping something can be done
He was rude to BiBi, and while I’m all in favor of that, so what? They’re just talking over the same agreement from July, and it’s the far right elements that were recently bragging in the press about how many times they’ve blocked a hostage deal that’ll decide if anything happens this time or not.
Standard BS Power Play move on both sides. I have to stop here, because I will be siding with the Trump Administration and it too early to vomit.
Well, he did threaten him with one of Donald’s used diapers.
I’m morbidly curious if he dropped a K-bomb due to the Sabbath reference.
Yes, because we all know that republicans would never delay the release of hostages to score political points.
Oh, wait…
https://www.theguardian.com/us-news/2023/mar/20/jimmy-carter-republican-sabotage-iran-hostage-john-connally
https://www.texasstandard.org/stories/ben-barnes-john-connally-iran-hostages-jimmy-carter-ronald-reagan-october-surprise/
October Surprise.
Yup. What a disgusting bit of ratfucking that was… Ugh.
& republicans would never, ever extend an unwinnable war which would result in more death, suffering, as well as delay the release of American hostages (like at the “Hanoi Hilton”, for example) to score political points
oh, wait…
https://www.smithsonianmag.com/smart-news/nixon-prolonged-vietnam-war-for-political-gainand-johnson-knew-about-it-newly-unclassified-tapes-suggest-3595441/
Quality kommenting all around. And good job balancing out sexy Friday with manly meat pics.
I’m sitting on a mandatory Teams meeting about accessing, completing and posting our annual OSHA 300A form from our illness and injury software suite.
Mandatory to post etc.
Sounds useful?
I already completed this task last fucking week and the 300A is already posted.
These are our national safety leaders conducting the meeting so here I am.
1) Humanity is beyond salvation.
2) Humanity ain’t worth saving, anyway.
AFAICT, our new corporate overlords no longer GAS about ISO 9001 compliance. Which IMO is a good thing, because I had a turn in the barrel for that a while back, and it was a ginormous PITA.
That makes me feel good. Our industry certification program got a little ANSI/ISO seal over a decade ago to “raise the standard” (read: keep industry companies from self-certifying internally) and, best I’ve seen, it’s just a bunch of paperwork that the committee and staff struggle to keep up with completing. Notably, since the program did this, there have been basically zero process improvements and, in some areas, regression in quality/consistency because the program isn’t flexible enough to be responsive to issues that need addressing. It’s a total waste of money and, really, is just the result of a short-sighted move to protect their revenue interests during the Obama Bad Recovery.
It’s probably the single most damaging move the industry has made in the last 20 years all because the industry government needed to be empowered as the sole certifier (because certs are how we fund it) and now, because they spend all their time chasing ANSI and patting themselves on the back for having the ANSI seal, there is no appetite for improvements.
These Texans have no appetite for competition. But I do.
My group ran too lean to support ISO 9001. Our customers like issues turned around in weeks (a small number of weeks), not months. We pretended to do it for a while, but when Boo is the One Man Gang, we don’t have a lot of time or manpower for functional specs, code reviews, etc. We should, because it’s like flossing your teeth. But when I’m the one guy who knows how x works, what good is a code review going to do?
Excellent point regarding a one-man-operation being as ANSI process. I never pondered it to the one-person extreme but the same fundamental error was made by our industry association. That is, there is no one invested in maintaining the ANSI stuff so, it gets assigned and through group-lift the deadlines get technically met — but I very much doubt anything would be considered thorough.
I kind of get the impression that, like everything else, ANSI very much wants you to pass so you can keep paying and they can keep up the illusion that the seal, in itself, means anything.
Absolutely. Our company just wanted the certification for bragging rights; they didn’t really care whether or not it improved our processes.
We all kind of want to do the proper thing, so we don’t end up supporting garbage down the road. But as we told our internal 9001 guy at the time, “We’re a collection of single points of failure.” A lot of times our choice was either, “Do it ISO style, damn the effort” or “Make the customer happy.”
Bonus: our ISO 9001 internal auditor guy was the coolest-looking guy you’d ever met, but after about five minutes talking to him you’d realize he was one of the biggest anal-retentive pricks on the planet.
Was it an embarrassing black eye when your company finally fell out?
I think after what we did to our customers price wise, skipping ISO 9001 was the least of their worries. I’m surprised we still have customers, TBH.
Yep we went through that around Y2K.
we have SOC2, which is a total PITA and seems like a waste of time and paper
Camera off for your early lunch break!
No cameras allowed! National security reasons!
No cameras = No pants
Remember, I work on site. Every fucking day.
Yes but without cameras how can they prove that you didn’t have any pants on?
had my eye exam this morning, and got those drops to dilate your pupils. Not sure my eyes are back to normal yet.
Good news, tho, only one eye needs a prescription change, the other is the same as last time.
That’s good! Aging is really fun.
SENATOR: Did you sexually assault a woman?
HEGSETH: I’m not a perfect person.
Motherfucker thinks quoting Hoobastank is a sufficient answer,
I believe myself to be a rational person who avoids overreacting, but quoting Hoobastank should not only be disqualifying for a cabinet position, it should disqualify you as a American citizen!
Tough but fair
Stolen: I SUPPORT PETE HOGSBRETH BECAUSE HE WILL DRINK RAY THEON AND GENERAL DYNAMICS UNDER TEH TABLE THOUGH I WORRY ABOUT WHAT HE WOULD DO TO HONEYWELL WHILE UNSTUPORVISED
It’s gonna be great when there’s a revolution in Belarus or something and a drunk Hegseth whips out his dick on a call because he saw Lukashenko’s grandaughter in the background pouring tea
I should collect stories of people who live in places like Culver City (not in danger of burning) and work in Century City (also not at risk) who don’t feel like they should have to go into work because they have “concerns” and put them all in a binder and give it to @blaxabbath for Christmas.
We have a guy in the building who called in sick last week because of the fires.
EVERYONE else in the building lives closer to the fires than he does.
Did not go over well.
at my last place, my boss worked “remote” as it was too snowy to get into the office. I was in the office and had to drive past his house to get into the office. This was many years before remote work was normal but not something that couldn’t be done.
He was fired a few years later, and wasn’t too sad to see him go.
.
..
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=mj8wDtqbiYs&pp=ygUhc3VyZWx5IHlvdSBtdXN0IGJlIHRoZSBzb24gb2YgZ29k
“…Pilgrim.”
AI is going to kill us all. But in the meantime, it makes for some entertaining sports memes.
https://x.com/dnpsportsburner/status/1878886352785457422
Oh that is glorious
You should have seen ThePirateSloth’s reaction to those all-dressed chips. It was like in Pleasantville when someone first saw colors.
Good chips will do that to a fella.
Good Jerb GTD
BeerGuyRob is even a top notch commentist.
It makes me sad thinking about how much fun these playoffs would be if the Kansas City Chiefs simply didn’t exist and were replaced by some alternate universe fictional team like the Fort Worth Wranglers or the San Antonio Tejanos or something.
Brisket and chips and Jets…
Oh My!