Hello there fellow DFO’er. Hope you’re well today. And thanks for coming back to see last weeks tl;dr of last week as decided by my brain. There’s no reason as to why some comments make it and others don’t. Seriously. There isn’t.
This weeks cheesy motivational quote is:
A man’s very highest moment is, I have no doubt at all, when he kneels in the dust and beats his breast and tells all the sins of his life [in bed].
Oscar Wilde
I guess you need to confess at some point, might as well be comfortable when you do it.
Without further ado, here are the comments of the week.
Whoa whoa whoa, you promised you would bold which of these [AVN Films] you’ve watched….
BrettFavresColonoscopy
Oops! I forgot!
I can confidently tell you I have seen none of them all the way through.
I have seen multiple several minutes at a time…
ballsofsteelandfury
Minutes?
OH HEY ERRYBODY, CHECK OUT THE MARATHON MAN HERE!
Braggart.
LemonJello
That’s a lot of semen.
Thanks, Balls. This had to have taken a lot of work. And electrolytes.
WCS
AI can help maximize productivity & foster new ideas in every industry.
BeefReeferLives
Someone tell Presidente Elon this is best way to get women.
WCS
Hey hatters, pass it on
Doktor Zymm
The Sharkbait clan is officially off to Australia in August!
Sharkbait
Just wanted to thank all yinz for keeping some levity and morale boosts when needed. Sometimes this jorb can be challenging. Dick jokes — at any time or situation — are always appreciated.
I saw (type?) this every now and then, but thanks for keeping me sane (sane for my standard), especially in the past three years.
WCS
Don T
Redshirt
February 4, 2025 8:11 pm
herodotus450
February 4, 2025 7:06 pm
“and turned Ken Anderson into a Hall of Fame considered quarterback”
That’s one of the all-time best backhanded compliments.
ballsofsteelandfury
Who says nothing happens in the offseason? Hi, Seamus! Good luck, you crezzy kids.
Well done, Ballsy, if I can refer to you as that. Not sure if I have proper clearance.
Unrelated note: if I’m found in several, dismembered pieces located through my apartment and elsewhere, princess didn’t finally snap, nor was it one of the kids. My toilet finally had enough, and decided to take vengeance.
WCS
How does one reason with a woman who tries to use a broom to sweep a wet patio?
Rikki-Tikki-Deadly
“One does not reason with the wet patio broom-sweeper, one embraces her tenacity and lives to fight another day.”
-The Art of War, at the very end of the footnotes
scotchnaut
I did like that someone is liking Trumps presidency as a second attempt at the speed run destruction of our country.
ArmedandHammered
Setting aside this whole Constitutional crisis thing for a minute…
The Federal government funds the deficit by selling Treasury securities; T-Bills, T-Notes, and T-Bonds. The T-Bill’s interest rate is determined at the auction at which they’re sold; you can buy a $1000 T-Bill for some amount less, and the $1000 minus what you paid is your interest. These are generally rolled over by big institutions; they want something that will make a little money but is safe. And from what I was told in Finance, the current T-Bill rate is the ‘risk-free rate of return’. Nothing is safer.
Now here comes Musk’s script kiddies. Right now, they’re sticking shit into the Treasury payments system; they’re pushing stuff straight to production. This is fiction, I know, but let’s assume that they’re all on the up-and-up, and are just wanting to ‘improve’ the system. Sooner or later, they’re going to fuck something up; it’s an old, huge system running on old mainframes. Smart people touch stuff like that as little as possible. Sooner or later, probably sooner, something is going to fuck it all up and somebody isn’t going to get paid on time. Or at all.
If I’m that big institution, do I think that 90-day T-Bill is now risk-free? Today mamaw’s Social Security check got disappeared, tomorrow it’s ??? I want a deeper discount to buy that T-Bill, assuming I want to buy it at all. And what does that due to consumer and commercial interest rates? There’s a recipe for an instant recession, right then and there.
BugEyedBoo
Don T
Well, He did create leopards and cheetahs, and can tell their fur apart. So He’s either gay or a Latin woman.
/bows, blows big kiss
Don T
“I died for your sins but those pumps are unforgivable…”
Rikki-Tikki-Deadly
COBRA!
Redshirt
Ohtani’s gamblor interpreter got just under 5 years.
WORTH IT.
SonOfSpam
What was the over/under on his sentence?
Rikki-Tikki-Deadly
Boom-shaka-laka.
BeefReeferLives
I’m an only child, but I assume it’s pretty nice to be the baby of the family when your older siblings have set such a low bar that as long as you don’t commit any felonies you’re doing great
Doktor Zymm
That was how it was for me. My sister broke my parents in pretty well; by the time I was a senior in high school their main dictate was that I not drive drunk.
(They were not concerned about me getting anyone pregnant)
Rikki-Tikki-Deadly
Sharkbait
Evening
Brocky
Andy Reid attending Brit’s court appearance, Artist Concept:
Sharkbait
That’s good hustle!
Redshirt
That’s fascinating that Miami Dolphins team doctors are picking up shifts in the emergency room.
Rikki-Tikki-Deadly
As a Cal alum (law school, but still a fan) and season basketball ticketholder (got them when Jason Kidd was playing, moved away, and then moved back and got them again when Jaylen Brown was playing so not all dogshit, I have been e-mailed some boosterish nonsense on Cal grad Ron Rivera: He is coming back to Cal not as a coach but as “football program advisor” — so maybe NIL guy and reminder to Justin Wilcox (who will never leave for a better job because he ain’t on anyone’s list so only way he leaves is a firin’). Seems like the same gig Hodor just got for Stanford, but Stanford gave him a GM title ‘cuz they’s fancier than Cal.
/This has been your rainy day in the Bay useless football (and basketball) knowledge dump
Downfield Matriculator
“Alas, I recall seeing him across the fields several times. Has it been a decade already? How time passes, but this conflict never ends, dear Mother. The leaves change, and the years go by, but our struggle eternally continues on.
With the deepest love,
Capt. Andrew Luck, D Company, 12th Infantry”
WCS
Redshirt
Hey Beer Guy, this has been a glorious week of hate.
Damn glad to see you back. Excellent work!
Now that I’m home, let’s get after this Friday shit.
yeah right
/a quick peek into Olivia’s house after the news broke
Olivia: “Eli, you ok?”
Eli: [quiet snuffling from under a pillow fort] “I’m…ok.”
Olivia: “I was thinking about making some hot chocolate, but with extra marshmallows. Would you like a cup, maybe?”
Eli: [sniffs] “Maybe. Would you have one with me? Under here?”
Olivia: “Where it’s super safe? Of course. This is a tough time-we can get thru this together.”
Eli: “That Spiderman comic, the one where he beats Rhino. Can you maybe read that to me?”
Olivia: “I sure can.”
Eli: “I like it when he runs into walls. But Spiderman is smarter so he always wins.”
Olivia: “He always wins. Just like you.”
Eli: “Just like me…”
scotchnaut
I wanna give him a hug now, shit.
ArmedandHammered
Admin
February 8, 2025 5:51 pm
God help us all.
Sunday Gravy coming, Yo!
yeah right
2Pack
Owls are space aliens
Doktor Zymm
Reminder, birds aren’t real.
Mr. Ayo
They all live in Wyoming, which also isn’t real
Doktor Zymm
Pour one out for the last coach to win the old NFC Central
Brocky
It’s going to be exciting to see who else besides Dick Jauron is on Ginny McCaskey’s list of servants that have been designated to accompany her to the afterworld.
Rikki-Tikki-Deadly
scotchnaut
One of the couples coming over for the Cornblower Superb Owl Extravaganza wants to talk to us about doing a vacation together, (cool it, not that way. Besides we’re all old and gross), and we were discussing the Caribbean.
If they show up to your party wearing shirts with pineapples….
ballsofsteelandfury
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Thanks for all the comments and funny and everything else.
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I just scored reservations at Compratir in Barcelona on my birthday in October. Getting a res for Disfrutar is a 2 year almost impossible effort but these are the same 3 chefs who all worked at El Bulli together. They own both places. Compratir sounds a lot more casual and is based around tapas and sharing plates. It’s rated as perfect for solo diners and holy shit am I jazzed about this.
Gonna drop a bundle but there WILL be photos!
The Dodgers can collect all the international all-stars they want, but the Angels just signed 37 year old Kenley Jansen, so take that mfers!
I’m absolutely going to do my best to get to an AFL game while I’m in Australia
Found a funny:
https://m.youtube.com/watch?v=cmSPwZIZu6Y
It’s like a I Think YOu Should Leave sketch but a MOVIE!
I Love You Man but for SICKOS!!!
Conor OMalley & Paul Rudd?? OMG!!
Hahahaha!
Good job GTD.
[intentionally reads the “G” as an “R”]
Why thank you, you’re too kind!
RTD was the old bus system in LA.
It’s also the current one in Denver:
https://www.rtd-denver.com/
FTD is a florist, people forget that daily.
like anyone has ever seen RTD and GTD in the same room at the same time
“I do that all the time, too!”
-Lea Michelle
Always.
Thanks for the recap Buddy. Be well everyone.
Watching the second season of Solo Leveling, been up since 4:20 a.m. (how appropriate). This show rocks! as a certain anthromorphic pooch would say.
And as everybody has been saying, great job, your stuff helps me get my Tuesdays going properly.
Raisin bran and coffee do that for me.
Checking the sneak preview of the grocery store flyer from Vons is my jam.
Ooh, jam’s on sale!