Woe Is Me: A Thursday Night Tale (and some other stuff)

So it rained all day yesterday and then dropped to -15C and snowed as well overnight. Your hero (me) was walking down the steps of the porch towards the vehicles this morning and my feet betrayed me. My lower back slammed into the edge of one of the steps and I was howling. Thing is, I had two un-cancel-able in-person meetings today so it was Tylenol and gasping all day long.

Some good news?: Turns out my niece is the best slalom skier in all of Ontario in her age group today. That’s so cool. I’m so proud.

To The News!

Hold Me, I’m Scared: The Bears have actually gone out and fortified their offensive line! More than adequate Joe Thuney will be protecting Caleb next year. If he only gets sacked 60% of the time that he experienced as a rookie that would be a massive progress.

We’re at the part of the offseason where I enjoy mock draft reporting about as much as a mock chicken loaf sandy with extra mayo on Wonderbread. It would seem that the NY media has come to the consensus that Cam Ward is going to the Giants. This is like the Toronto media deciding that the Leafs need to acquire a 2nd-line center as the trade deadline looms. So there’s the narrative, hanging in the air, created by the media. And if it doesn’t happen? TORONTO/GIANTS SWING AND MISS headlines as far as the eye can see and D- grades the day after. Fuck. Off.

Deebo for a 5th rounder seems like a sweet deal-if it was made three years ago. The most TD’s he’s ever had in a season was 13 and that was (ta da!) three years ago. Plus, his value came from his willingness to run the ball out of creative formations. He’s not that guy anymore. His aggressive running style has taken a toll on his body. He’s 29. He has difficulty getting separation. Need I go on?

Poor Tank Dell-his leg injury was so devastating that he’s just getting his ACL repaired this week. See you in ’26, my favourite widdle 168 pounder. The Texans see the writing on the wall and picked up Christian Kirk-which was kinda stupid because he was the most obvious cap-related released player aside from Joey Bosa and Bingo!, look what happened to him yesterday. The Texans gave away a 7th round draft pick in ’26 which is the equivalent to a bag of peanuts (unshelled!) so, whatever.

Good hockey teams playing tonight include Tampa, Florida, Winnypeg, Cackolina and Dallas.

Send serious painkillers, please. The address is Scotchy, Northern Ontario. It’ll find its way here eventually.

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NotShogunButShogun

CNN now blocks everything behind a paywall. So much for free media.

Gatoraids

BUILD THE PAYWALL

BugEyedBoo

Late to the party for King Hippo’s elective gallbladder removal question. Internet says you can ask your doctor to make it happen.

Medical imaging can sometimes fail. My daughter was having gallbladder attacks, and there were lots of symptoms that matched up to ‘gallstones’. But CAT scans and ultrasound were coming up negative. So the doctor recommended laparoscopic surgery to remove her gallbladder. Afterwards he said there was a gallstone about the size of a racquetball in there.

blaxabbath

Goddamn.

Gallstone symptoms sound like enough for me to eat a bullet right in the parking lot of the doctor’s office (after the diagnosis but also after shooting down a health insurance executive on a crisp quiet morning).

BugEyedBoo

ETA: her pediatrician had seriously misdiagnosed her gallbladder attacks. It looked to him like chronic costochondritis (sp), inflammation of the cartilage where your ribcage connects to your breastbone. When she finally went to her grown-up doctor with the symptoms, tyhe doctor said, “That’s a gallbladder attack.” About a month later they were removing her gallbladder. Unusual, but not unheard of in a 20-year-old.

blaxabbath

NFL players are open about not wanting to waste their lives playing for bad teams — DK Metcalf, notably.

Fans should do the same.

rockingdog

Ummm also I think this is an email list of those dumb DOGE Employees…

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WCS

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rockingdog

Found a funny:

“Careful it’s hot! It’s hot!” But you don’t move out of the doorway in time and I let go to spill the entire dish no one asked me to bring, a 60 qt stock pot full of boiling water and a completely unseasoned butcher shop pig’s head that spins down the foyer making eye contact with every single guest

WCS

Currently sitting on a call where two parents have called 9-1-1 on their 14-year-old twins for not going bed.
How do we top that? No one in the household speaks English! It’s all in Mandarin.

2Pack

Arrest the parents immediately.

Rikki-Tikki-Deadly

Refer them to ICE, I guess. Might as well collect whatever kind of bounty they are undoubtedly offering.

WCS

That legitimately made me laugh out loud. There were glances from others.

Sharkbait

Painkiller! I’ve got you covered!

Bogdanski
Bogdanski

It is raining out of control here in San Diego, screw you Albert Hammond

Bogdanski

I just heard thunder, crazy

blaxabbath

San Diego is the best.

Bogdanski

It’s no Hawaii but hopefully we’ll end up OK. I guess it just depends on witch way the sailors and marines go in the coming struggle

2Pack

Congratulations to your niece, that sport is bad azz, TV doesn’t do it justice.

In other news, I relearned yesterday that loaded nachos + a vigorous run = full cleansing action.

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blaxabbath

The UH Rainbow Warriors basketball team is battling Bakersfield on ESPN-Something.

CSU Bakersfield has a court that is blue with a yellow outline and classic wood keys with just the ugly The Big West logo. Oh and they have a breast cancer pin where the Verizon ad goes. And I think their center court logo roadrunner(?) should be chomping on a cigar.

Rikki-Tikki-Deadly

What are you doing watching basketball? You’re supposed to be surfing!

blaxabbath

I’m in Phoenix. Having a fire in the fireplace. Because this is the best time of year year except the traffic sucks.

King Hippo

“having a fire” in terms of spontaneous combustion?? Or, why on God’s green earth would a homebuilder in PHOENIX include a fireplace?

blaxabbath

It was 1970.

Phoenix didn’t really start exploding with heat until the 90’s, as drought began setting in regularly AND the effectively limitless asphalt made the environment here just supersaturated with Heat.

Now we’ve got both too much heat coming in AND no place with which to dissipate it. So naturally the feds killed millions in funding for like an 8k rebate on new (read: efficient so needs 4 flushes) or repairs whatever on residential cooling systems.

But whatever. Use the library as the coming station — that’s the last place any of them world ever go, even if we “cleaned it up” to a pristine presentation.

Gumbygirl

I have a gas fireplace. It’s chilly and rainy tonight, was last night too. I use it a lot in the winter.

blaxabbath

Nevermind. There’s a 2003 Forensic Files about a 1986 murder on HLN right now.

That game isn’t good enough for me to tune back in after the half (and it’s been a one-score game all night).

SonOfSpam

Big West basketball – catch the fever!

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WCS

(the fever is a kidney infection)

DJ TAJ

I swear I’m alive because I dance.

Gumbygirl

I dance because you’re alive! And I swear all the fucking time.

WCS

fuck yeah like a damn fucking lady shit yeah

Gumbygirl

Damn skippy, I have a fucking potty mouth!

Bogdanski

https://youtu.be/64LJXqyZCek?si=b0QvOr-zxi8I0s-Q
One of my all-time SNL things

Brick Meathook

Pierce Brothers Westwood Village Memorial Park & Mortuary
Los Angeles

https://ibb.co/Jj6xqsrG

DJ TAJ

Did you shoot that?

Brick Meathook

yes

Gumbygirl

Whoa, I read that wrong, thought it said Bro Rat. Hey, the Jim the tractor guy one from the previous post, is that a dog on the top ? I could only see the feet.

Brick Meathook
Gumbygirl

Must be a mixed breed, lol!

Redshirt

Flowers are in bloom early this season.

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Rikki-Tikki-Deadly

That reminds me I should see if the poppies are starting to bloom up in Palmdale.

Rikki-Tikki-Deadly

Ah, bummer. They didn’t gen enough rain so not much is happening this year.

rockingdog

Also the videos of the SpaceX Starship explosion are wild!
Apparently airplanes trying to land in airports in Florida are having to watch out for falling debris…

Yikes!

King Hippo

A glimmer of brightness in Our Darkest Timeline.

litre_cola

Business wise things are going well for him.

Redshirt

.

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WCS

SUCK IT UP SNOWFLAEK WERE MANLY MEN NOW

blaxabbath

You in the wrong business if you’re gonna actually think that any of these women are really into You.

ballsofsteelandfury

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Senor Weaselo

Eh, I’m sure the planes will be fine, it’s not like they’ve undergone an abnormally coincidental number of plane crashes over the last month and change or anything!

Brick Meathook

Who’s running this joint? Approve my previous post, please. God Bless.

ballsofsteelandfury

Clearly, the gerbil was asleep…

Redshirt

Stupid DOGE. That Gerbil has a family!

King Hippo

My brother had a scary gallstone/infection episode last year, but after getting the gallbladder removed, he says he feels better than he can remember (family has genetics for shitty digestive system). His theory (he has engineering degree like me, but he’s not an apostate) is that we siblings should all get ours removed.

Does anybody know if they’ll remove your gallbladder just because you ask them to (after a visit and explaining symptoms and family history)? Because I don’t want to dick about with a bunch of expensive, inconclusive testing.

WCS

This is a very convoluted way to get pills.

King Hippo

I worry they’d make me stop a few days leading into the snippy time! My opium budgeting game has been ON POINT, despite the whole Darkest Timeline.

blaxabbath

Why not? Insurance will pay or you get to go kill a man in the street.

Curse this wretched healthy body with which I have been damned!!!!

Bogdanski

I’m sure many people will remove your gallbladder if you ask… and your liver, and your small intestine, and your spleen…or, just go ride the rails in northern Ontario for a while

Brick Meathook

While we’re still on cemetery photography (see previous post) . . .

Here’s Johnny Ramone’s monument in Hollywood Forever Cemetery. However, since Johnny is not actually interred here, this is officially a cenotaph.

From previous posts Balls and I determined that Forest Lawn Glendale is the Disneyland of cemeteries, then Hollywood Forever is the Knotts Berry Farm of cemeteries. Forest Lawn Hollywood Hills is the Legoland of cemeteries, and Disneyland is the Arlington Cemetery of theme parks.

https://ibb.co/7dDVyYCn

ballsofsteelandfury

This is true

rockingdog
Rikki-Tikki-Deadly

Jayson Tatum with 18 points in the first quarter.

SonOfSpam

Yeah, but that Y in his first name is awfully Utah-lacrosseish.

Rikki-Tikki-Deadly

Follows it up with 2 more in the second quarter!

(he was actually making the right plays to help the Celtics build their lead; just not scoring)

Gumbygirl

You just know he has a brother named Jaxxon. It’s a tragedeigh.

litre_cola

Sweet Jesus, the Ice Bombers have scored twice with their backup in!

King Hippo

You won’t do in-person meetings high as balls? AMATEUR JUNKIE.

Brick Meathook

Here are my spare Tramadols. I could have FedEx’d some overnight in a business letter package, no problemo. They’re weaker than Oxy so take about six of them and grind them up and then snort them. When you start seeing flashbulbs popping off you’ve hit the sweet spot. You won’t feel a thing for a few hours, although you might not be able to speak coherently either. It’s all a trade-off.

https://ibb.co/ZR2RCvTC

Gumbygirl

I think I have a few of those somewhere. I’m going to dig a couple up, my right tit hurts like a mofo.

SonOfSpam

He’s clearly no Elon.

blaxabbath

No — but RFK Jr is intrigued by Tram’s proven* ability to defeat infections of The Measles.

*Perhaps

SonOfSpam

If I may…

Actually, using his money to pay their offensive studs and maybe a couple cromulent defenders would be a net positive.

Assuming they spend wisely. Which, well.

ballsofsteelandfury

Forget it, Spam. It’s the Bengals

Redshirt

I’ll believe it when I see Higgins and Chase signing the contracts.

As for Hendrickson, he’s 30 so this is his last big contract. Assuming he finds a team willing to pay him, the Bengals should try to get a 2nd and a Day 3 pick for him. A 1st would be perfect but unlikely. Assuming he doesn’t hurt or stink next year, the Bengals should get a 3rd for letting him walk, so asking for that seems reasonable.

Of course, it’s the Bengals so “reasonable” is a stretch.

blaxabbath

What’s the angle with HIggins/Chase? It’s like Mike Brown is dating them both, telling them both he’s just shopping for the right ring before proposing, then spends his weekends drinking with his lowlife pals down at the Bearcat Bars and not the jewelry store*.

*Jared’s, I imagine.