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Wumbo Wednesday With Weaselo: There’s Football This Month!

Senor Weaselo

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Bastardization football, but it counts! Legally! It is an exhibition NFL game (the Hall of Fame Game) on the 31st!

Anyways, we’re still in full “wedding almost every day” mode so mind the lateness and the Carpenterness. And to boot the Yanks are down 7-0 after 1, because they’re attempting to win a division while losing EVERY series to their divisional opponents. Can confirm from last diceball season, it’s not what you want.

What’s on tonight? The North American Euros, I guess. The USMNT is currently playing Guatemala, and on the other side it’s Mexico vs. Honduras from legally not San Francisco. It’s not LA, so fingers crossed La Migra won’t try and round up an entire stadium with their infinite budget.

Will the Hippo win his Civil War GAMBLOR? We’ll find out!

I’m nowhere near word count, which I’m not enthused about, but it’s been a lot of running around. Also making lunch with Senorita Weaselo, where we learned that in the event of a metal spatula being unavailable, tongs are not a valid substitute to flip your burgers.

Sunday Gravy gives you good recipes. Wumbo Wednesday tells you stupid shit not to do! Which one is more useful? (Sunday Gravy, I just lack common sense.)

Okay, we’re over 200. I don’t hate myself as much now. Tags later, comment now!

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Redshirt

NFL Network is airing the Tennessee-Cincinnati Divisional Round game from the 2021 Playoffs in honor of Joe Burrow’s Comeback Player of the Year Award. You would question why they are not airing any games from last year, since that’s the year he won the award, but he did get sacked 9 times that game. NFL Network is probably airing it to help Joe piece together his memory of the game, which is likely a repeating sequence of turf quickly slamming into your face and a flash of light as consciousness resets.

1
Gumbygirl

Women?

1000006235
4
ArmedandHammered

It does stand on it’s own though, Gumbygirl.

2
Doktor Zymm

True this

2
Gumbygirl

It’s my homescreen!

1
BrettFavresColonoscopy

Whoa, man.

1
ArmedandHammered

Walked the San Diego Zoo today, saw cute animals, just as cute children pretending to be animals, and a metric fuckton of people more interested in their phones than everything to be seen. Thanos did nothing wrong.

10
Horatio Cornblower

Thanos was a hero.

3
SonOfSpam

“Look, a panda!”

“No, this is the elephant exhibit”

“ON INSTA DUMMY”

2
ArmedandHammered

Mid-day is a bad time for the animals as most were resting.

0
ArmedandHammered

So that made it worse with people pointing things out as animals, that were not, in fact, animals because they could not see the animals, who were resting.

0
Doktor Zymm

Do you think part of the reason the GOP is so anti-trans is because they do their makeup the same way Republican women do?

5
Mr. Ayo

Makes sense. Every GOP that is stridently against gay people or pedophiles end up being exactly that.

3
Gumbygirl

The Trump clown was supposed to be under your comment. He fucks everything up!

5
BrettFavresColonoscopy

Well, it is definitely fireworks season in my neighborhood

1
SonOfSpam

Poor dogs.

2
Rikki-Tikki-Deadly

He said fireworks season, not Kristi Noem season.

2
SonOfSpam

It was 2-0 Mexico, but now it’s 1-0 Mexico New soccer rules I guess.

1
Mr. Ayo

In Don T parlance the score is now Mex 1 – 0 Hon – 1 VAR

4
Jimbo

Fox viewers are wondering if Honduras is one of the 3 Mexican countries.

Screenshot-2025-07-02-at-8.34.00 PM
9
SonOfSpam

Christ, I’d ask if that chyron is real, but it has to be.

5
Doktor Zymm

One of the goals was sent to El Salvador

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Redshirt

Those Cartels mean business!

2
Mr. Ayo

Sinaloa and Jalisco in cahoots? ¡Dios mio!

2
SonOfSpam

Yeah but watch out for

(tries to think of a Honduran cartel)

Cartelo Hondura!

6
Doktor Zymm

The Civic is a Honda car, that’s close

4
King Hippo

Imaginary Chaos Alert! Through 32 rounds, 2312-13 Pretend Middlesborough is on FIVE fookin’ points, with a -83 goal differential

I shall keep the class informed!

4
Horatio Cornblower

I hope someone gets fired for that.

0
King Hippo

They still have to play me (at home, but STILL) down the stretch, too.

0
blaxabbath

comment image

Hawaii is pretty okay so far. I got home to two chirping smoke alarms and no AAA batteries so that was a very dad experience to deal with after BIG TRAVEL but before dropping my bag and taking off my shoes.

I’m gonna grill tomorrow.

8
King Hippo

FUCK ME, I hate dealing with those chirpy prickstains. That Pacific beach action seems like fair recompense, though. TO BE FARE

1
Gumbygirl

I have never, to my knowledge, had a smoke alarm that took anything but 9 volts. You’re going to burn to a crisp in the middle of the night because of those cheapass detectors. Stop shopping at the Dollar Store!

3
King Hippo

Half of mines were 8-volt, the others AA. I had 10-year Energizers for all, because of how nuts it made me last time.

Then I find out that the detectors THEMSELVES have to be swapped out every 10 years, which set me back about $700 since I am not quite dumb enough to do any work with electrical wiring myself.

2
Doktor Zymm

The lady who rented my place for a couple years apparently could ignore the chirps! My neighbor told me about it after she moved out, you could hear it next door and annoyed my awesome neighbor and the lady just let it go somehow.
She also didn’t know how drains work and left a bunch of checks behind, plus I was getting her health insurance info for like 2 years after she moved out so kinda oblivious in general methinks

1
Rikki-Tikki-Deadly

The trick is to disconnect the offending smoke alarms and then drop them in a bucket of water.

3
Bogdanski

Not long after we bought a bunch of battery-powered “smart” smoke detectors we had our kitchen remodeled. Turned out, new CA law requires smoke detectors be hard-wired into the home’s power, no batteries needed. Had to buy 5 new smart detectors and get rid of 5 perfectly good battery powered ones. Good times

3
ArmedandHammered

Really helpful when your power is out and the house catches fire? Or did they have rechargeable lithium batteries (the kind that you know, catch on fire)?

2
Bogdanski

Good question, I should look into that before I fall asleep as I’m suddenly feeling very tired after all the lights have gone offffffff….

0
Rikki-Tikki-Deadly

Mine are wired to the house; they also have backup 9V batteries.

0
Gumbygirl

How big is your palace, that you need 5 of them?

2
Doktor Zymm

Law in Chicago is one in every room, even if the rooms are open to each other. My 850ish sqft apt ended up with 5 (bedroom, hallway, living room, dining room, kitchen, I guess none required in the bathroom tho)

0
Bogdanski

Single story, < 1500 sq ft. Every bedroom needs one above the door, as well as every hallway. We have four detectors within 10 sq ft of each other. I feel so safe

0
Bogdanski

Can’t tell if “palace” is a typo or not. Either way, I like it

1
Jimbo

Clayton Kershaw needs 3 K’s for 3000.

Screenshot-2025-07-02-at-7.10.07 PM
Last edited 9 months ago by Jimbo
8
Redshirt

Regardless of how we feel about him, we must respect the court’s verdict. Sean Combs is as not guilty as OJ Simpson was.

6
Jimbo

It’s weird that he has “supporters.”

https://www.newsweek.com/diddy-supporters-celebrate-baby-oil-outside-manhattan-courthouse-2093798

Last edited 9 months ago by Jimbo
2
Rikki-Tikki-Deadly

Every celebrity creep does. Remember Danny Masterson?

https://abcnews.go.com/Entertainment/danny-masterson-admitted-state-prison-after-rape-conviction/story?id=105951086

1
Jimbo

From that 70’s show to being released in his 70s. smgdh

4
Rikki-Tikki-Deadly

You’re so bad, Jimbo!

comment image

Last edited 9 months ago by Rikki-Tikki-Deadly
3
2Pack

A huge thanks to the guy that just explained the word “plethora” to me. It means a lot.

10
Jimbo

I learned it from this movie.
https://youtu.be/zWld721Wk-Q?si=G3SHDC0IBg4hVG9d

7
Mr. Ayo

In a way, all of us have an El Guapo to face

6
Doktor Zymm

Ditto to explaining “bargain”. It means a great deal

2
BrettFavresColonoscopy

Killed a bottle of green chartreuse tonight.

But that’s ok because I’m going to…. Chartreuse this weekend!

6
Doktor Zymm

Captain promised to “fly it like he stole it” and get us to Chicago quick, lol

10
King Hippo

Like a pilot with a sense of humour. You reckon he does just the right amount of beak.

3
Bogdanski

Given today’s FAA, it’s more likely than you might think

1
herodotus450

Ya know what I think? I think those ICE fellas should start deporting any Chinese restaurant that makes there food too DARN spicy!

4
Gumbygirl

Or not spicy enough! Or just too damn Chinese!

0
Doktor Zymm

My suey was slice rather than chop! I demand satisfaction!

1
Brick Meathook

All the MAGAs are discovering that a big chunk of their voters are now poor people who use Medicaid.

4
Mr. Ayo

Well, not for long.

4
Doktor Zymm

But at least when they’re dying in their coal mining shack there won’t be any immigrants around to provide in-home health care!

7
SonOfSpam

Plus, their children will be in the mines with them! Family time!

5
King Hippo

Suck it libtards!!!!

3
Horatio Cornblower

I want this bill to pass, because I want all those people to die.

1
Brick Meathook

You are old:

Image-21
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scotchnaut

Not exactly sure who the TSN soccer expert is now but down through the years you could’t go wrong with “Graham, the Scottish fella”.

1
Doktor Zymm

When I switched on to this flight early this morning, I was first on the upgrade list with 7 seats open. As of an hour ago I was third with 2 seats open. The two people ahead of me got upgraded and I’m settled in to 8E, the best darn middle seat on the whole plane!

4
Horatio Cornblower

Seat 8E, right now:

comment image

8
Horatio Cornblower

There probably should be more than 4 minutes of extra time, but I’m not sure either team would survive it if there were.

1
Doktor Zymm

You can totally use tongs to flip burgers, if you’re careful! Almost certainly not pancakes though

2
Horatio Cornblower

What are the odds those ICE assholes are at every exit gate when this game ends, mugging Guatemalan fans? 1:1? Lower?

4
scotchnaut

Is the action stupid and venal? There’s your criteria as to whether it’ll be done.

1
King Hippo

I just want North Cakalaky on the “Blue” team instead of the Greys this time. FUCK OFF, it could happen!

1
Horatio Cornblower

Your wishes for defined lines in the coming Civil War is delightfully optimistic.

I can think of 4-5 of my neighbors that I’ll have to deal with in the first ten minutes.

5
SonOfSpam

Hey, you could get Senator Cooper to replace the TRAIDER RINO Tillis.

0
Brick Meathook

Los Angeles County alone could defeat the entire South.

4
SonOfSpam

Mostly by saying “Hey, look over there” then punching them in the nuts.

3
Doktor Zymm

I look forward to living in New Old Mexico

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