Hello there fellow DFO’er. Hope you’re well today. And thanks for coming back to see last weeks tl;dr of last week as decided by my brain. There’s no reason as to why some comments make it and others don’t. Seriously. There isn’t.
This weeks cheesy motivational quote is:
“The work is mysterious and important [in bed].”
Mark ( Severance)
Oliva to Eli when trying to get some adult and/or alone time.
This week we bring back our posting at the right time feature. Let us know how we did in the comments.
Without further ado, here are the comments of the week.
Bob Kraft has instructed his attorneys to prepare a suit against this establishment for flagrant false advertising.
Rikki-Tikki-Deadly
(walking into the Mock Draft only to find its all about books)
Redshirt
ALSO MOVIES!!!
Horatio Cornblower
(door cracks open)
BASED ON BOOKS!!!
(door closes subtly)
Redshirt
Browning isn’t very good. Is he the Cinci backup with the smokeshow wife? Or was that theblad from Bama?
litre_cola
I hear he’s prone to jamming if nawt cleaned regularly
Doktor Zymm
August 18, 2025 7:33 pm
Whoa video of a cargo shit exploding in Baltimore Harbor in Maryland
That doesn’t seem Rocking… 😬
Is this a metaphor for something?!?!?
BREAKING: Cargo ship explodes in Baltimore Harbor in Chesapeake Bay, Maryland.
— AZ Intel (@azintel.bsky.social) 2025-08-18T23:54:07.499Z
rockingdog
Yeah, where is Fozz?!
Redshirt
Found a funny:
good shirt to wear for when you’re dying in the hospital
rockingdog
Oh, we’re doing previews this year?
Guess I should do one for the Cowboys.
“Jerry Jones resigns Micah Parsons for Eleventy Gagillion dollars because he waited until the last minute. Ham(get it?)strung by 2-3 contacts are way too high because Jones negotiates like a reta Sam Darnold, the Cowboys fall apart after a promising 2-0 start, finishing 8-9 and missing the play-offs.”
There. Done. And I didn’t even look at anything and that’ll probably be pretty damn close to what happens.
Horatio Cornblower
You forgot the part where he yells crazy shit
BrettFavresColonoscopy
And now I’m at the airport, mere hours after the movers finally dropped my stuff off. I left a mediocre Trustpilot review and about half an hour after the movers finished they called me to “discuss my feedback”. Because after not hearing a peep from them for 3 weeks I totally want to talk to them right when I’m busy putting my newly unloaded things in order
Doktor Zymm
Belichek will totally coach this team in the future.
litre_cola
It’s also perfect that his grandgirlfriend spells her name in a stupid way.
SonOfSpam
Going to Vegas tomorrow for a FFL draft and a Scorpions concert. Looks like it’s going to be nice, with highs around 110 and lows around 87. Pants are superfluous and will not be packed.
SonOfSpam
Behold my beautiful baby. Majestic!
Gumbygirl
Percentage of kids in the world series who will make the pros: 0.00001
Percentage of kids in the world series who will loathe their parents for eternity: 99.9999
jjfozz
I mean, I loathe their parents already.
Dunstan
My mother on behalf of herself and my sisters, “We’re still dealing with the fact that your father died.”
Me: “That was almost a year ago, it’s time to move on.”
I mean, the old man would have said the same thing.
It’s hard being the cold hearted bastard in the family.
jjfozz
I massively failed at a one-handed recycling maneuver today and got a bunch of cardboard cuts on the inside of my wrist that make me look kind of like a really wussy emo kid that can’t self-harm correctly and also sting like a bitch. I think I’m ready to play QB for the Raiders
Doktor Zymm
Paper cuts always burn! They suck. I’d rather have a big cut than a small paper cut, but I’d rather have either of those than a steam burn.
I almost said I’d rather have a big gash, lol. This crew would be all over that. Always lobbing the softballs. That sounds dirty too!
Gumbygirl
“Favorite Meme: Homer Simpson Disappears Into Shrubs”
GET THIS KID A DFO JUNIOR MEMBERSHIP, STAT!!
Horatio Cornblower
Happy Base Throwing Day to all those who celebrate!
Redshirt
Ugh, I don’t like Rudolph. And I suspect we’re going to see a lot of him, when Ancient Aaron gets broken.
Gumbygirl
Settle down, Bltizen, you’re gonna need that kid one of these foggy nights.
Horatio Cornblower
I wish this had taken about 7 attempts for BFC to get it right, with each recipe adding more booze and each description getting more and more deranged and illegible.
Horatio Cornblower
just pictures of scattered and broken alembics
Gatoraids
A picture of a piece of paper with “all Islay and no carrot juice make BFC argle bargle” typed on it in three different fonts
Horatio Cornblower
I was just thinking how great it would be if Ted Cruz got a Google alert he was mentioned and came to DFO and saw our banner. It warmed my frigid heart a little bit.
BrettFavresColonoscopy
Gumbygirl
Redshirt
Me: “The Giants could finish 3rd in the division this year.”
Everyone Else: “Are you fucking kidding me? How could that possibly happen?”
Jerry Jones: “I DON’T EVEN KNOW THE NAME OF MICAH PARSON’S AGENT! YEEEEEE HAWWWWWWW! I’M THE BEST DAMN NEEGOSHEATETOR YOU EVER SAW!
Everyone Else: “Ah, I get it now.”
scotchnaut
Greetings, gentlemen and others! My manservants are rejoicing at the acquisition of our newest member of the infantry from the Nigeria Protectorate branch in South London. They tell me that he can slice through a back line like Mobutu Sese Seko sliced through his political opponents. I have no doubt that he will be instrumental in the quest for the title this year!
It would seem that we are engaged in a skirmish with an upstart band from West Yorkshire at the moment. Because we are Right and Just, we will surely prevail! Onward to glory!
Cecil Rhodes
My new projector/hammock arrangement is excellent! I have a choice of hammock chair or full size hammock with good drink/snack holders for each. The projector is further away so larger picture. Still might change the speaker placement but it’s not bad as is
Doktor Zymm
That burger belongs in the Smithsonian. They have room for it, now that they’ve removed all of the “unpleasant” stuff. Well done, Yeah Right, as usual, I am slobbering like a St. Bernard!
Gumbygirl
In a related development, 8% of women find Rikki less attractive than they last year, and a staggering 15% find him less attractive then they did in 2023.
Rikki-Tikki-Deadly
How’s it going, boys!?!
Yeah Right, this [burger] looks incredible!
Wakezilla
Don T
For all of the Lowratio League- pay no attention to the draft grade. I got a D- last season, and I won the damn thing!
Gumbygirl
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Thanks for all the comments and funny and everything else.
NOTE banner image from here
I get a few scam calls a day that all leave the same AI voiced message on my voicemail. They change the fake lady (it’s always a lady for some reason, Violet Rodriguez right now) every week or so as if that will suddenly make me give them my financial information.
This shit is what we’re draining the water table and driving up energy costs for.
I sure hope Anna and Lucy are not just taking Ben for a ride.
Unless it’s a motor board.
Thanks for the review GTD. It’s certainly helpful during this 2 week void we’re navigating.
She’s gonna catch cold, I’ll tell you what.
Get your Goodfellas jokes ready…
https://bsky.app/profile/profootballtalk.bsky.social/post/3lxclwym2m226
“It’s great, he’s gonna be made!”
“An’ there was nuttin’ we could do, Mr. Mara”
It’s honestly quite tragic that there are more options than ever before in history for safe sex, and yet young people are having less of it. My loins weep for them.
Young people are having less sex and doing less drinking. They also have fewer friends and higher rates of depression.
As xkcd said, correlation doesn’t imply causation, but it does waggle its eyebrows suggestively….
I blame social media. And the Jews.
On that note I’d like to declare that I am running for the GOP nomination for Connecticut’s 2nd District in 2026!
Good start, but needs moar trans hate.
I saw in the paper that one piece of dating advice was to read a book in public because ‘a book can be a conversation starter and you’re more approachable with a book than a phone’. Having spent a good chunk of my life reading in public I can say that this is flawed advice. By all means carry a book around (I once had some drunk guy propose to me because I was reading Bukowski in a bar, I remained unmarried) but only assholes are going to inturrupt you while you’re actively reading
Agreed. A gentleman will wait until you pause. It’s very low class to butt in.
Gentlewomen, too.
Can’t believe you turned my brother down.
(I assume it was him, because that sounds exactly like something he’d do)
I find that a foolproof way to get strangers to talk to you is to wear very conspicuous headphones. It’s all “Do you know what time the next train is?” and “How do I get to MacArthur Park from here?” and “A vagrant just stabbed me can you please call 911?”
Young people are having less safe sex?
MRW I’m back in the US after 3 weeks in Australia
Good news, everything’s going great here!
The temptation to accidentally drop our passports in Sydney harbour was strong
that would make you undocumented, illegal immigrants
/maga misses the point
HAHBAHS AH SUPPOSED TO BE FO-AH DRAWPING BALES OF TEA, NO ONE DENIES THIS!
I can’t believe it’s been so long since I saw a Tawmy reference here!
Probably reflective of the doldrums that the Patriots franchise has been mired in.
HOW ABOWT THOSE FACKING RED SAWX!!!!!!!
Here he is with Maureen from the packy and Sully saving us from the mortal danger from a Tufts grad student – THESE FAHKING MAASKS AHR BETTER THAN A BAWB KRAFT HANDY!
Just be happy you were able to spend some American dollars overseas while they were actually still worth anything.
Welcome back! You fool.
On behalf of the USA, I apologize that we have Fox news on instead of cricket
One of cricket, footy, or rugby league was almost always on. It was excellent.