![[DOOR FLIES OPEN]](https://doorfliesopen.com/wp-content/uploads/2015/08/DFO-MC-Patch.png)
"This site goes down so often we oughta change the name to “Dating Nancy Reagan”" – Horatio
As you all read this, I will be on an airplane to Mexico. They are, after all, our greatest enemy/trade partner. I’m not interested in sharing much about me lately and, for the rest of you, I feel kind of bad for completely blowing off the Colts preview just for them to become the latest sexy new ex-NYG revival project.
So below are your Week 4 Quotables submissions.
[…] my flight to Mexico. Didn’t check in an hour before and the very direct woman at the ticket counter was clear […]
Now this is a moment of silence I’ll respect.
The Angles* have never had a 100-loss season?! The Dirt Stillers have had two this decade, and four this century. There are a pair of 99-loss seasons in there, too. Apparently this was the Angels’ most losses ever. The Buccos have two this century. Their overall win/loss record up until 2000 is actually damn impressive. Since then,
*what’s Hippo spaek fore the Spams? Dirt Clippers?
Thus making the Angels the best team in major league history. Science.
Yeah, science!
I’ve started calling them the “Charlies” after the late Charlie Kirk who in case anyone missed it was shot in the throat while preaching xenophobia and transphobia and hophlophila.
But they’re the Halos, not the Can’t-In-Halos.
Jesus, Spam, one of these days you’re going to send me to the hospital from laughing so hard that I burst a blood vessel.
This needs many, many more “+’s”.
the fuck you mean positive for Covid?
“Fuck you, that’s why.”
Least we forget this truly special piece of Cubs merchandise during Kosuke Fukudome’s tenure with the club.
Oh man the Detroit Tigers really just Clevelanded that up.
And then Cleveland manages to turn a runner on 3rd with nobody out into a runner on 1st with 2 outs. And now the game is over.
It’s safe to take poppers when your teams former HC knows the value of Methylene Blue.
Fish Market Brand smelling salts(TM) are just what’s need to beat the Cards
It’s funny, I’d have though this kind of pre-kick tribute would be done by the Colts kicker.
Jaxson boy I’d love to set your up with my friend Mr Dicksoff
QUICK, someone photoshop in a folding table at the end of this clip.
Baker’s just doing his best impression of the pirate ship in the stands. If he had an actual cannon, multiple players would have been killed.
🎼🎶 Like a good Nabers, Malik’s knee is dead 🎶
Surmountable Lead!
Like the Atlanta Falcons official tagline.
WHAT IS THIS WOKE SHIT IN JERZEE?
I haven’t seen a Jaxson get that much affection from a paternal figure since his biological dad wanted to show off for the foxy junior associate whose firm assigned her to accompany him to the custody hearing.
Hegseth says this gets your dick hard
it’s a boy
And with that, Coach Carroll’s streak of making a kicker sniff his wife’s tampon string reaches 34 years.
Ah shit. Carroll hasn’t coached the C-HOX in years. I’m terrible at this and deserve to hit the bench.
Sounds like the fault of the Seahawks front office for not being more relevant recently.
I mean, without that LEGENDARY LEGION OF BOOM DEFENSE……
“YEAH JAXSON WE WON WE WON OMIGOD KISS ME huh maybe I went too far, gonna walk away now”
THIS GIANTS TEAM I CALL THEM THE GOMER PYLE WRAP PARTY BECAUSE WHEN NABERS GOES DOWN THAT MEANS THE SEASON’S OVER
Oh thank you, thank you, thankyouthankyouthankyou!!! You’ve saved my job!!
My god, what have I done?
Malik: Man, what did I do to deserve this? Why doesn’t this happen to people like Tyreek Hill?
Trainer: Well, this has turned into a kinda good news/bad news thing….
Back injury, probable to return
-Miami’s upstairs medical team’s diagnosis
LEEEEEEEEERRRRRROOOOOOOOYYYYYYYYYY JENKINS!!!!!
The New York Giants have defied the Gods by winning. The Gods are offended by this blasphemy! The Gods demand…
…a sacrifice.
“Did you see that? That little bastard in leather chaps and a mask came out of nowhere and clubbed my knee shouting ‘For Horatio!’ or something before slipping under the bleachers.”
Lowratio would never!
Josh Allen escaping from Saints like he grew up going to Catholic school.
Go ahead and take this one off the table; we’re done here.
When your Sex Cannon was ordered off Wish…
or Temu
…or was manufactured domestically.
God — monopolized closed-market domestic manufacturing. Think Boeing did a bad?
“You sexy slab of man-meat, I’ll be waiting for you in the showers!”
“Wha-uh,sure. Ok, Coach.”
Leave a Reply
You must be logged in to post a comment.