The teams on bye are the Pats, Giants, Niners and Panthers. We only have 4 more weeks after this one and what with PARITY rearing it’s ugly head a few of these tilts actually matter.
To The Games!
Seahawks/Falcons:
If things fall a certain way Seattle could end up being the NFC’s #1 seed. And no, it doesn’t involve a plane crash or godly intervention. Digest that for a sick minute. Atlanta’s D should cooperate and do their less than average thing as should Cousins, who seems lost and washed, folded and closeted. What? JSN should continue his wicked smart route-running as well.
Titans/Browns:
Nobody wins this one, fans, neutrals, whatever. Play this game in a barn in one of the Dakotas and let us know the result after the clock has hit zero. Blech.
Commies/Vikes:
Mariota played the game of his life last week…and lost. Nothing has gone right for Washington this year but I can’t help thinking they’ll come back strong next year after an offseason reset. But there’s still 5 more games to get through. Jayden Daniels is back. There’s that. Does Minny draft another QB or give McCarthy another year to figure things out/be evaluated?
Fins/Jets:
New York’s D is verging towards cromulent now that they gave away some talent. I love an underdog story so I’m looking for a Miami win and the ensuing chatter that they are on the cusp of wildcard territory. Looking back to Week 5 or so and how the noose was slowly tightening around McDaniel’s neck, their current status/play is a remarkable story.
Saints/Bucs:
Tampa is getting right injury-wise at just the right time. Bucky is back and Evans and McMillan are on the horizon. Plus they need this win to stay ahead of Los Panteros, my sneaky pick for a wildcard that I called many moons ago. Sometimes when you say stupid things you can be perceived as prescient-don’t make that mistake with me. “Oh, don’t worry your pretty little head about that.” -the Commentariat
Colts/Jags:
The AFC South became interesting once you turned your back and who do you have to thank for that? Why, only the scrapheap-iest QB that will try to steal your heart if you let him. Daniel Jones’ Colts have lost three of their last four though so now the debate is “schedule doldrums or pretenders being exposed”. I know where most sports yakker’s sentiments lie. Look out, Jax is the #3 seed in the conference and Indy hasn’t won there in over a decade. Trouble is, which Girlfriend will we see?
Steelers/Ravens:
Lamar has been not good/off recently but you sure as hell can say the same about Pitt’s D last week so who knows how this one goes. One assumes that Baltimore will defend their home turf but a visitor win would further muddy this division and that’s every outsiders preference, right?
Bengals/Bills:
Cincy’s D needs some turnovers here and that was a huge ask a month ago but not so much the last two weeks. They still have the 31st ranked run D but their best buddy there are Buffalo sitting at 30th. If Cook doesn’t touch the ball 25-28 times the OC is a stupidhead.
Do your thing.
/leaves gym and gets in car
//Mrs. Horatio turns on radio
“SSSSSSSHaaaaaaalllllll I play for…..”
Horatio: GodDAMMIT!!!
**taps microphone**
DDDDDDUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUVVVVVVVVVVVVVVVVVVVAAAAAAAAAAAAAALLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLL!
Thank you.
How was that not a touchdown by Likely? Does he need a notary public to establish possession?
Two feet down but didn’t make a football move, would be my guess.
Makes no sense.
He was in the endzone. Was he supposed to spike the ball?
Got me. I thought it was a TD, but I don’t answer to Fan Duel.
Looked good to me *shrug*
Gotta be some Tomlin voodoo
At least I won’t have to hope for the rest of the year.
Of course we don’t try an Onside Kick, because our defense has been great the whole year, let alone this game.
It’s 1:00 pm. I haven’t done shit. I don’t expect to do shit. Yay me.
Your daily serving of sour grapes.
https://twitter.com/NDFootball/status/1997770150125175225
As long as everyone who has ever had anything to do with Notre Dame fucks themselves to death this is just sprinkles on the moberi floor
Welp, Seahawks game is over. Time for some lunch before the afternoon games.
https://youtu.be/1LGM82uPuvA?si=ZM_TdF0_AEh_x7IA
Jesus Christ Quaron, you fucking idiot.
Evergreen
Lucky fuck
Bats the ball UP. WTAF. ‘There’s no fool like an old fool’
Baltimore should ditch Poe’s raven imagery and embrace the Norse imagery.
Speaking of Viking dipshits. I meant these Vikings need to literally get killed.
Welp, Burrow WAS having a good day
First Vikings game all year that I did not record and did not see a single play from.
Figures we issue an ass whoopin’ and a shut out.
I’ll keep this strategy going for the rest of the year.
Good luck with that. I’ve tried it with the Raiders and, well…you’ve seen the results.
Huh…
Also, obligatory*:
THIS SEATTLE TEAM, I CALL THESE GUYS AN ALABAMA FAMILY REUNION BECAUSE THEY ARE TRYING THEIR HARDEST TO FUCK COUSINS!
*this will be retired soon, as I think Capt Dingleberry will soon be out of the league
I woke up just in time to watch the Steelers trip on their dicks. Yay.
I’m been awake for my team’s entire dick tripping. You were lucky.
Washington didn’t trip on their dick so much as have it ripped painfully off
The O can’t do jack shit, but at least the D held on.
With those two close calls (the non TD catch was bullshit, IMHO) & the result, I imagine JJ Fozz’s comments will be… interesting later on.
THIS BUFFALO DEFENSE, I CALL THESE GUYS BIG GAME HUNTERS BECAUSE THEY ARE KILLING THESE BENGALS RIGHT NOW
Is WCS too far away to send a EMT out to Redshirt’s place?
The Bungles!
Decent catch and run too!
Cincy’s offense is bad at defense as well.
Wow.
Ladies and Gentlemen and Variations Thereupon, the 2025 Cincinnati Bengals Defense!
What defense?
“Damn. Higgins head has hit the playing surface multiple times today! That back strain might keep him out of practice on Tuesday!”
-Fins Medical Staff
We needed that TD. Bills Offense is on fire in the 2nd half.
If he wasn’t playing a slick turf, Higgins might’ve broken his ankle on that last catch.
Tee Higgins is 100% playing with a head owie
To his credit, he did go into the tent, but I think he memorized the concussion answers.
Medical Staff: Question 1: What is your favorite color?”
Tee: “Purple.”
Medical Staff: “Of all the primates, which one is the funniest?”
Tee: “Oh, gotta be the monkey!”
Medical Staff: “Of all the appliances in the kitchen which one is the most important?”
Tee: “Uh, dishwasher?”
Medical Staff: [looking over the results] “Purple Monkey Dishwasher were his answers. I think he’s just fine.”
Stephen Holder
@HolderStephen
Daniel Jones is back on the sideline wearing a walking boot and standing up without aid, for whatever that is worth.
Huh. If Jones had an Achillies Tear, I doubt they have him on his feet let alone on the sidelines.
He walked off didn’t he? I can’t imagine how much Toradol he’s on
Announcer: “Cincy D is holding their own! They’ve just recovered a fumble in the endzone.”
Redshirt: “But, but. They’re lousy and I hate them. What about my narrative?”
They are not holding their own. The Bills TEs are owning the Bengals LBs.
They’ve always been poor vs tight ends but they’ve gotten stops at critical times.
Point granted. They are living on the edge.
Kill these Vikings.
SUDDEN CHANGE!
… FOR THE BUNGLES!
Now all I need is a 15:46 drive to end this thing.
Holy shit!
I did a thing!…
Drinks on Redshirt!
Hot Shots – Drinks Are On Me – YouTube
I choose…a shot of Malort on his lap.
Is this actual money?
Yeah. One of my apps recommended Over 3.5 carries for -110, but I saw he was average 10+ carries for all but the last two games and wasn’t on an Injury Report. I figured I give it a shot.
Okay. Congratulations in principle. However, I cannot actually endorse you or anyone here gambling.
I never got around to writing my Washington bye week report. They should just abstain from the rest of the season, it’s late enough that serious injuries might not heal by next season
That must Hurtz for Ertz.
Well double fuck, double fuck
Challenge that play, Zac!
BLEERGH: “You are correct, Cincinnati, but you suck, so no Touchback!”
Bengals Defense is Bengaling.
*Bungaling
Daniels is experiencing some discomfort? No shit?!?
It is fitting that the Jets are wearing the Gotham uniforms, which were last seen in a movie where the entire team is literally shown being sucked into the underworld.
Fuck that Viking prick. I hope his heart explodes.
Washington’s defense needs to kick McCarthy to death like a puppy.
The empty seats in Atlanta do not seem to be enjoying themselves.
That ded-eyed stare on Raheem Morris, too…
Okay, you win this round, GG.
Myles Garrett gonna get the record in under 16 games
Quoth the Raven – We Stink
December is NOT Touch of Downs Month.
(and HOLY SHIT wait for January….)
Lots of ouchies today
Currently playing on Radio Free Hippo:
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=nf8u6thqGA8
“…and nobody comes back to say how great it is. That’s just how great it is! They’re having too much fun!”
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=jIHZKvz7Po8
Jayden hurt too? Bloody Sunday!
almost like rishing him back from that gruesome injury made absolutely no sense whatsoever
I’m sure he wanted to play, they’ve actually been really good about getting medical clearance (like realish medical clearance). I’m nothing if not protective of Jayden, but they wouldn’t have let him start if they didn’t think he was close to 100% (although that doesn’t account for added vulnerability admittedly). I would say I don’t fault the start but they probably should have pulled him at the half when they saw they weren’t getting anywhere and he was under pressure pretty often.
the faded Jets uniforms are strangely appropriate
You know who ought to be MVP?
Joe Burrow.
The NYT reads Sexy Friday.
Why support a team that’s not even fucking trying?
It helps when you lean into the apathy and hopelessness of the situation.
Fuck that.
This is why bandwagon riders exist
Because you don’t want to buy new bootleg jerseys from China