If there are only going to be three fixtures they might as well be relevant and that’s the scenario here. Let’s take a looky-loo.
To The Games!
Broncos/Raiders:
If both Denver and New England win out the former has the tie-breaker advantage. No matter how the seeding falls they’ll be a tough out because they’ve played in so many one-score games and their record is 7-2. To me that means they’re a battle-tested squadoo that can do damage. What do Raiders fans and Tonight’s Girlfriend have in common? The tendency to say, “Make it Stop”, softly under their breath.
Bears/Packers:
Chicago being material to playoff seeding this late in the campaign takes some getting accustomed to. It would seem that they would be this year’s most improved team even if they falter a bit down the stretch. Oh, and enjoy this brief respite before their fans truly feel some heat in their cottage-cheesed loins. Naysayers would point out that they’ve had a light sked but those types are dropping like flies after they beat the Eagles in Philly. The 7th round wonder Monangai seems to be their talisman-he came along at the perfect time, getting the tougher yards inside that Swift is allergic to. The bonus is that he can also catch the rock so can’t be treated a a single skillset player by opposing defenses.
Rams/Curds:
It’s not a spelling error. Los Angeles gave up last week’s “WTF?” score to Los Panteros and the division tightened up all of a sudden. Brissett strikes me as a strange mixture of feisty and average so the Curds can bite at any time but I think the opposition received a wakeup call and will crush today.
Have at it.
Caleb has a wee bit too much Johnny Manziel in him.
For god’s sake, someone send Terry Bradshaw to a farm upstate to play with all the other retired QBs.
Actually, I think we need to put Old Yeller out of his misery. “Flip flop”? What the hell?
I hate this Hartford Healthcare ad where the father is being a pussy about having a cold and coughing at the kitchen table without covering his mouth.
I cannot begin to tell you how hard the blow from the cast iron skillet would be to the back of my head if I pulled that obnoxious shit in front of Mrs. Cornblower.
No jury in the land …
I’d acquit her myself.
Cover your fucking mouth, people.
I cannot emphasize enough how genuine my hatred for everything connected to Notre Dame is. I wish only the worst on everyone touched by that cancer. Even Joe Montana.
Wow.
SUDDEN CHANGE!
Turns out Caleb does, in fact, suck.
JFC, Caleb.
Oh Caleb.
Thous hast Calebed.
This is perfect. I wish it could be the. banner.
Even better when you know the story behind it.
Good night bears
Chicago is certainly taking their sweat ass time.
Should’ve taken more
Well, my Lowratio League game is out of hand and in my favor, as Yeah Right was nice enough to start two guys who are out. Sorry about that YR; I’d have shouted out if I bothered to look before now.
Next taco and beer is on me.
Although Yahoo does seem to think there’s a 1% chance that Vidal and Barkley will combine to lose 20 points.
Me: “Well, Arizona has their main two receivers hurt, and the Rams have a good D and will probably focus on Wilson, so I’ll keep Barkley in the swing spot and Wilson on the bench”
Michael Wilson: “That’s sound thinking, and also fuck you.”
Follow-up to Notre Dame being bitches:
Notre Dame turning down the Pop Tart Bowl is worse than anything anyone has done in the history of humanity, and I ask you not to do any research on this and trust me on this one.
So I was reading up on this and there’s this guy named Adolph Something….
I requested no research, please.
Let’s not bring that abomination people call Coors Light into this.
It’s certainly the worst thing to ever happen to their student cameramen.
Because ND is a bunch of whiny little bitches and I hope they die of incurable Being A Bitch Disease.
That’s what I was saying!
Have the bananas been prepped?
Clearly, cause Wilson just slipped on a peel
That would explain what happened to Burrow in the 4th Quarter.
Gotta say this Bears Packers game is ROCKINGGGG!!!! 🏈
What ad marketing genius looked at Johnny Depp and thought “oh yeah; millions of people are gonna wanna smell like he looks like he smells!”?
When Mom Cola and Step Dad Cola were teaching in the Bahamas they were filming the Pirates movies (Not those ones Balls). Step Dad cola was a body double for Captain Gibbs, Johnny Depp only hung out with the extras and body doubles, not the cast. He rolls his own darts and is apparently one of the nicest guys in the land.
“Sure he was.”
– Amber Heard
That’s fantastic.
Depp does seem fun to hang out with, I just don’t want to smell like I’ve been hanging out with him.
As a neutral, I am enjoying this Packers-Bears game.
Go Bears.
I thought you more a Top
That was earlier.
Indeed it has been quite enjoyable.
Hmm…I think there’s a bed about to be shat in.
NDavenportluv#2 has entered the chat…
Rrrrrrrrraammmittt!
FYI – a good Slate article that’s behind a paywall,
https://x.com/rking618/status/1997344125163622604?s=46
but if you open in Reader mode it’s there. The photo attached is the money quote.
Fucking Las Vegas. Fuck the industry. Fuck the people living there, gambling and gamblers, and fuck everyone who’s ever even visited that shithole
I have to go over for a couple of days after Christmas because my sister is spending that week there. Baffling. She wanted me to go for the whole week , but fortunately I can use my old cat as an excuse. I don’t gamble, don’t drink much, and I can’t stand my nephew, who will be there too. I love my sister, so I’ll put on my big girl pants, but I would rather go anywhere else. Even Bakersfield!
I know where some great pizza can be found.
My sister is the only person in the world who hates pizza.
Is fox amerikaning doc martin?
The shoes?
Yup.
Notre Dame shockingly opts out of bowl game
Counterpoint: Take away their name and they are a Division 1-FBS Independent Team throwing a temper tantrum. If this was the Connecticut Huskies, would it even be newsworthy?
If I’m the Bowls, I’d tear up every single agreement and memorandum of understanding we have with this coddled program.
I can assure you that the Fightin’ Horatios will never turn down an opportunity to go bowling.
Current projections are for the well-known Union Home Mortgage Gasparilla Bowl against Louisville in beautiful(?) Tampa, FL.
If invited I’m sure they will show up, even if they lose money on it, (which they absolutely will), because unlike certain spoiled programs in, hypothetically, South Bend, Indiana, UConn is not in a position to say no to any kind of exposure.
Even the Gasparilla Bowl.
The fuck’s a gasparilla, anyway?
WWWAAAHHHHHH
Notre Dame is the living embodiment of the “Wait, are we the baddies?” meme.
No one in south bend has the sapience necessary for level of awareness.
Other things the NFl could focus on besides “it’s cold in Green Bay”:
One of those checks out
Yeah, but it puts me in a position to defend White Supremacists.
Don’t worry. Next weekend, when the Seahawks play at home twice in four days, there will be copious videos of salmon being tossed.
Did you know what city I am from? – J. Bettis
But their fans own the team! They don’t earn any profit from them, but they own them.
When you want to pass out, but your wife is in the same room waiting for you to pass out so she can yell at you for passing out.
I recommend passing out anyway. Feels GOOD, man!!
If you pass out and screams at you, is that really any different than when you are sober and she screams at you? I mean passed out means silence in my book.
Someone got us a Dogvent calendar. Daily portions of freeze dried chicken. Riga is clearly pleased, and Lambeau tried stealing it out of WineWife’s hand.
It’s good you’ve raised them pups proper CHRISTIAN
Those doggos make me happy!
Chance of bananacakes rising. Ice cream variety
Oh Green Bay, go eat a dick smothered in cheese and wrapped in frozen tundra.
Sheer poetry!
I like this West Coast Offense/short passing/patient gameplan this week.
(Nix promptly throws 30 yards downfield into triple coverage)
Ooh Local H! Good call
That pass missed the camera wire by about a foot. They need to get rid of those things, plenty of other options nowadays
That explains a lot today.
after practicing on his own team in the beginning of the season he has learned to channel further
Dion Dawkins seems like a good dude, would totally have a beer with him
Dagger WOO!!!!!!
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=VFYsVoQH32U
I was googling Ayo’s charity work and discovered he’s one of the very few Mall Santa’s in the larger Seattle area that are allowed within 100 yards of a daycare facility!
/keep up the good work Ayo and remember, 50 yards is a big No-No until March 1st, 2026.
Maybe it’s an undiagnosed head injury, but I’m enjoying this bit.
Scotchy has been my biggest charity work this year. You’re welcome.
Horatio, the pizza at the casino was fantastic, the reason for going there was because we were meeting my daughter and her friends there. I am happy to say she has some fantastic friends. And the casino was cool and picked up pastries from Sift.
It was a good day.
Did you not have to use your AK?
Doesn’t sound like he played any poker
Nope, I don’t gamble because if it weren’t for bad luck I’d have no luck at all, gloom, despair, and agony on me.
The casino is a lot safer than the parts of New Haven GG and I were referencing last night. I highly recommend fucking around if you want to find out just how many of the people around you are actually undercover security.
Glad to hear it.
The casino is fun once in a while. But my god some of those people at the one-armed bandits are depressing.
I don’t know Sift; next time we go there I’ll check them out. I do like pastries.
What kind of kickoff was that?
Admittedly, I was in my usual drg fugue state, and ain’t really notice
I dunno, the crazy state farm sea captain might have good defensive strategies!
has anyone met a Caleb who wasn’t a dumbass?
I’m not sure I’ve ever met any Calebs in person
I’ve met one. Thankfully my sister lucked out by not settling for him.
If I hadn’t had 8 beers and three manhattans, I’d be angry, but I’m numb so all i can muster is fuck the refs for that absolute cunt of a call on that touhdown. eat shit NFL.
Keep punching
Hoping no one comes into my tRGET ZONE
They aren’t worth your anger anyway
I have an especially strong urge for a tie in Bears/Packers
Most glorious and appropriate
Today has been Dreamboat’s best announcer work, at least? I know, teh soft bigotry of low expectations, yada yada
He just told another, “Back when I played,,,: story, so there’s that.
.
Can confirm there’s a chill. Perfect for the high level of mediocrity likely by both squadoos
He looked down?
This is good follow-up.
I just caught up on the Steelers-Ravens.
What is catch?
Yeah, even as a Stillers fan, I think that was bullshit. Looked like a TD to me.
I imagine JJ Fozz will have some pithy remarks about that.
I went to the store and missed it, but upon further review when I got home- hahahahaha suck it!
Ask The Narrator!
#ThePauls!!!!
Such a #ThePauls ending. NEVAR CHANGE
I enjoy them Brownening their pants, it’s good for the league to have a properly cursed team that I don’t support
They should play that “Doodoo Brown” song at the end of every fixture
Reminder-
Mister Rogers ran into Ayo one time at an airport-they talked for only four or so minutes and Mr. Rogers said, “That’s the nicest man I’ve ever met and I hope his fantasy football team does well.”
/Damn, I stand no chance of winning whatsoever
In my defense, that guy is a total asshole.
I am not going to make the ‘yoffs in Lowration on points. Uggh
D-O-N-K-S!!!! We got like, the WHOLE STADIUM too
I know I haven’t been around a lot lately, so I needed to reassure you all this isn’t me:
https://www.reddit.com/r/NFCNorthMemeWar/comments/1pg3att/how_about_a_real_challenge/
Eh, there was a guy who jumped in the lake every day for a year during Covid
Mark Andrews signing a 3 year extension this week and given his first game off it seems