Hola beautiful gente. I read somewhere that if you write about your love, words will flow like a riverbed: continuously, along mushy or rocky edges. And in this time of solitude, unimpeded by pro fitbaw, I can’t help feeling overwhelmed by melancholy and yearning about
In good times and bad, I have called you many names—playful names: garets, cigs, darts, enfisémicos… You steadied my nerves, brought me warmth and made my insurance premiums soar because I could never lie about us. How could I deny your tender embrace of nicotine? My yellow teeth and fingertips confessed my devotion to you and your maker, tobacco companies. Dios mío; tobacco companies are even more evil than pro boxing promoters and music industry VPs. In their defense, I turn to the obvious: malevolence attracts and can even bewitch. However unjustifiable the company, Philip Morris truly has a place in my vulnerable heart.
We were married a long time, about 25 years of one pack a day. After that, came the trysts during very particular situations: tense workdays and playoff games, stepping outside a bar to talk shit about non-smokers in our group, being intentionally off-putting before saying a single word… Cigarettes make you focused, the most obvious of its benefits.
When among folks, smoking also gives your hands something to do when you have fuck-all to say and don’t want to appear apathetic (i.e., the correct impression). And cigs always allow smokers a break from every awkward interaction indoors. Hell, if the irritant(s) are smokers, that would be even better. Ask for a timeout to smoke, a pause of about 4 minutes to pursue a common passion / affectation / crutch. Then, outdoors, as the clean air floods with second-hand smoke, you and the irritants can bond, over succulent tar, about favorite brands and the infantilization of society at large. Like,
-Have you noticed the Smoking warnings before movies and series? There’s violence, nudity… Smoking?! I mean [“What is this shit?” hand gesture according to ethnicity]
Where there’s love there’s attachment, and brand loyalty is yooge for smokers. I’ve hung around smokers all my life, as both peer and air purifier, but don’t recall meeting a polyamorous smoker EVAH. Even the menthol cats are monogamous and can detail at length the chasm between Kools, Newports, Bensons, etc. etc. I love my menthol brethren and sisterens, and would never put down their nicotine mores and traditions. But it’s not my bag because menthol feels medicinal, and a big part of cigarette smoke is the toxic taste that reminds: you’re doing something rrrrllly bad for you on purpose—which is an act of pure freedom. Which must be exercised in public only near dumpsters or back entrances, yes, but freedom nonetheless!
I gave cigars a try. Getting hot fiyah down the gullet is my kind of smoke, so no cigars. Won’t put cigar smokers down; dig the smell and I appreciate the pollutin’. Last century, for almost a semester, I went only roll-your-own Drum (great-tasting tobaccy, even greater outlet for pretentiousness). Still, Malboro menG. They have the right amount of exhaust fumes flavor mixed with pleasant chemical sludge tones. American Spirits, however righteous, can’t deliver the delicious toxicity required to compete. Plus you gotta puff them every four seconds to keep them lit. Folks, I hate to repeat myself, but tar is the shit. Plus Marlboro reds are sold everywhere cigs are sold. Yes, often more expensively, but nobody ever said self-sabotage comes cheap.
NFL NEWS
Still February. End of section.
2026 WINTER OLYMPICS
The Closing Ceremony is tonight at 8 Central. Haven’t seen the events for work reasons, but the coverage in the comments has been dynamite.
/Checks to see if pandering worked
FINALLY,
I’ve quit smoking about 36 times, surely 37 by tomorrow. But I love garets, deeply and thoroughly, which is how loves should be. Ladies with a raspy voice make my knees shake. Hell, I even enjoy second-hand smoke. It’s tragic: smoking is terrible for me, but no activity can substitute the delight from burning your throat and blasting your lungs with smoke. Maybe weed is the answer. It gets you high even, I’ve heard.
I draw the line at blunts. That smell… 😖
Banner via pexels.com
Started smoking in high school. Tried quitting numerous times and it never took until junior year of college. It seemed super easy. Then I find out I’m on a medication that is also called Zyban, specifically sold to help people quit. I powered through and kept smoking, even after moving to CA where there was serious side eye. Dont think I ever hit a pack a day but now that just seems like special pleading. Kept it up until January 2020. Oh, there’s a mysterious respiratory virus that may cause a pandemic? Maybe now is a good time time to quit. Plus, I was putting kids in bed, going out for a smoke, then showering to finally say good night to them. Somehow never looked back. I still have an unopened pack in my night stand. In 2022 I visited my old friends in Milwaukee and bummed 2 smokes over a week. Last summer, wasn’t even tempted while there.
The shit that really got me was in 2021 one of my best high school friends ended up with colon cancer. I didn’t find out until pretty late so I made a video for his family to play for him in the hospital. He and I were always the ones in school to sneak out for smokes and we always had a black sense of humor so I congratulated him on getting out without getting lung cancer. I’m pretty sure I know what my karmic payment will be
Fuck, tldr, miss you Steve
I was a Camel guy after being a Marlboro Red guy. Quit over 10 years ago tough and don’t miss it. Need to pick up my meth habit again though. Can’t sleep anyway, so why not enjoy it at 10,000% speed.
We just had a little earthquake in L.A.!
At least it’s not snowing.
Where? I didn’t feel shit.
Right between Catalina and PV. 3.5.
Barely a fart. Will panic though, feels good.
We can rebuild
Nothing out here
Big one in Borneo earlier
Call it Bornee-Whoaaaaa.
I missed the closing ceremony, but I saw the first episode of the Tracy Morgan sitcom. It has potential.
Anyway, this is another sign that I need to replace my current addictions (food and screens and isolated misanthropy) because this way of killing myself has lost its fucking charm. Odds are that I’m stuck
on this planet for another 35-40 years and given how much the last 45 sucked …
Screens has gotta be one of the worst for mental health, especially social media
I smoked when I was younger until I got married. Then it was only in the field and especially on deployments. Since I retired the first time I haven’t had one. I’m fortunate in that I don’t seem to get hit with bad side effects. It was the same with quitting drinking. Just cold turkey stop and move on without it.
It feels like if you’re in the military you SHOULD smoke. Same with being a high-strung writer or bookmaker.
Yeah it’s government issued
Smoking em til yer dumb again
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=facVh75-vW4
Alexa, play something that fucking shreds.
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=KtYQtlKDrpE
Let’s make it a DOUBLE SHOT!
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Gy88-5pc7c8
(no particular relationship between these songs other than they are both good)
Saw Richman play at the old Muni in Hartford. it was great. Then it turned into a Dunkin’ Donuts and now it’s an abandoned building.
There’s a lesson here, and it’s probably not a good one for Hartford.
If they didn’t learn a lesson after the Whalers, I don’t think they ever will.
Found a funny:
Kash Patel is going to make history as the first FBI director to get medically evacuated from Burning Man
Oh is he looking for Nancy Guthrie there?
Ben Gazzi, emails from Hillary, but definitely not anything Epstein related.
“I draw the line at blunts. That smell”
TOTES. Why do people ruin perfectly tasty & delicious ganja by wrapping it in those nasty wrappers?
Especially the flavored ones. Yuck.
Some people suck
I started smoking cigarettes at 13 or 14, smoked a pack a day until I was 38. I’m finally at the point where I’ve been off them longer than I was on. Hopefully my lungs appreciate the effort, so far so good.
That was pretty much my experience, too. I stopped smoking cigs daily in my thirties, but would still buy a pack every now and then, or bum one when drinking.
Smoking a one hitter of weed when I wanted a smoke helped me finally kick the cigs for good.
I read a while ago about how quickly lungs heal once you stop smoking, and it seems like it’s mostly good news. There’s gotta be a point of no return, but it seems like you can mostly get away with being young and silly.
I used the patch. Gumby was still in the Navy, so weed was a very occasional treat. That changed dramatically when he retired a year or so later!
23:16 EST and we’re back.
That hasn’t happened for a while. WHO PISSED OFF LOWRATIO?!
He’s just nervous about the blizzard, and being cooped up with a bored Horatio.
I did turn a couple of the plugins back on (post cloning and login redirect)
Thank you!!
In Robert Altman’s “The Long Goodbye” (1973), almost every shot of Elliott Gould he has a cigarette dangling from his mouth. It’s a great movie, one of Altman’s best.
Did you guys know it’s snowing?
Meh
I’ve never smoked a tobacco cigarette. I’ve smoked cigars and clove cigarettes, and a fair number of joints that had tobacco in them, but never a standard cigarette. The anti-smoking campaigns worked on me – I didn’t want to get addicted to something that would make my breath stink and give me cancer, so I refused to try them, even once.
That said, smoking looks cool. There’s no way around it.
Really? All the anti-smoking ads I ever saw were incredibly cheesy. And cloves are supposed to be even worse for you than cigs, easy to believe with that weird coating they give your mouth even while they taste and smell great
I remember watching this ad when I was high, made me want eggs.
https://youtu.be/3FtNm9CgA6U?si=cC7IA2zFPwer54Rm
This one made me, uh, want something else.
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=dAHoxaphbEs
She has my attention
Yeah, good call, show a stoner something tasty.
Remem that every anti-tobacco PSA after 1997 was paid for and created by the tobacco industry as part of their massive settlement. Truth whatever was a psyop of malicious compliance.
That would explain it, at least partially. I don’t suppose DARE was paid for by some sort of drug dealer union?
I gotta agree with Screamin A Smith on this one.
https://www.yahoo.com/news/articles/espn-host-demands-answers-jesse-125418964.html
Broken clock etc
When young Blax was in Afghanistan, cigarettes were one of the handouts we got to give as part of our intelligence operations. I understood the value of taboo liquor but they had their own smokes over there so I would always burn small talk on cigarettes. They had no loyalty. The Korean and Chinese brands seemed to be considered better (as Pakistan — makes sense) but I think that was a matter of fashion.
They also chew this weird like tobacco. I guess their version of snuff (lightly processed/laced) ?
Not being a smoker myself, I really like smokers. I mean, not when they’re smoking — for sure they’re no good company then — but when they’re just waiting for the next opportunity to go burn one.
Thier shit was laced. Helped them deal with the awful hands life dealt them.
I need WCS to weigh in on this:
https://bsky.app/profile/pgh-scanner.com/post/3mfik5f23vc22
I’m reading it was in the drive-thru; someone wasn’t pleased with their order, and decided to throw it all into the window. Actor(s) gone by the time the PD arrived.
I also took a call from an employee at a Chipotle who stated her manager punched her. She’s outside, manager inside the restaurant now. Management taking swings at staff members. At Chipotle. Yet another reason why Moes and/or Qdoba is far superior.
Moe’s?
Fuck that. I bet that manager run a ship so tight Gus Fring would Crack a smile. Don’t serve me mediocrity.
Damn, my sister had to put her dog down a couple of days ago, (he was something like 15-16 and had a hell of a run) and they just came home and found their pet rabbit stone dead.
That is a week.
I need to be up early to either start shoveling, start a fire to keep the house warm, take the first of two depositions, or some combination of all of these things, so naturally I am making sure to start my evening with a nice, mellow, 12% barrel-aged barleywine.
It is very tasty. I might, as did Zaphod Beeblebrox, send another one down after it to make sure it understands the plan, but unlike Zaphod I will not be sending a team of six down, as I would, at best, wake up outside in a snowbank, surrounded by my own filth.
Also I don’t have 6.
got to keep warm inside and out
How early do you start the fire? Like an hour before everyone is up? Ten minutes?
Whenever I get up. The pets can’t start fires, and Mrs. Horatio is more than capable of starting the fire herself. You want equal rights? Get to splitting kindling.
So it sounds like things are popping off in Mexico?
And by “things” I mean “guns”. Not like, piñatas and stuff.
Enough that there’s a travel waiver for it
I look forward to Amazon Cocaine serving TrumpTok users im this holiday season.
Also, is opium better, worse, or just different when you smoke it? Asking for a me (and I wouldn’t call Other Hippo a friend smgdh)
It smells nice
It would, opium is all considerate like that
It has started snowing here. The wind is picking up. This will be my last comment for several seconds.
Drums. Drums in the deep.
Winter is coming.
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=g60GEQXb2qc&list=RDg60GEQXb2qc&start_radio=1
grandfather loved to watch Oz with a bowl of ice cream at night after grannie went to bed
Speaking of old vices, I miss speeding. No, not that lame old man “7-8 mph over the limit, cop buddy says it’s not gonna get you pulled over” but that RECKLESS shit that only a young person can pull off. Especially a young MAN.
Wholesome Owl halftime
Don’t forget the Fresca!
Also, why is that guy wearing mouse ears?
As a nonsmoker, here’s where smoke is appealing:
Cigarettes: Vegas. Doesn’t feel like Vegas without the smell.
Cigar: Anywhere as long as it’s subtle. I smoked them occasionally in the 90s (cigars were cool and I wasn’t), and the way the smoke hangs around your clothes is nauseating. But a little cigar smoke is always welcome.
Mary Jane: Concerts, middle school orchestra excepted.
Cloves: Anywhere, anytime, as I like to believe I am 19 again.
I’ve always thought bars should be able to make their own rules about smoking. Like Hot Shots in Willimantic should just be able to say “you know what you’re getting when you walk in here, and that includes second-hand smoke. Go somewhere else if you want clean air, and no bedbugs from the apartments upstairs.”
That last part is what Mrs. Cornblower asked me to stop going there. I had to concede that “but they have bedbugs” was a pretty decent argument.
Los Angeles enforced the smoking ban as a labor law, asaying employees were being exposed to a carcinogen on the job. One bar, the family-owned “Tiki Ti Room” managed to avoid this because all the staff were relatives and they all were technically owners, not employees. Eventually this failed too.
The pool hall I used to go to with some coworkers tried this for a while, claimng they were all family. Even though the owner was a white guy and most of the staff was not.
“Oh I’m sorry Officer, I guess a little case called Loving v. Virginia doesn’t exist, does it!?!?”
Cop: “Unfortunately.”
If T-Mobile is a family…..
Oh, I guess this guy covered it. Disregard my other post below as you normally would.
Yeah, but it’s actually about worker safety. At some point, an older bartender was gonna get cancer and (rightfully) sue the employer for not providing a safe workplace. But then I live in a commie paradise.
There’s a bar in Chicago where they still allow smoking indoors. Lore is because it’s a mob bar.
https://scoundrelsfieldguide.com/richards-bar-chicago-dive-bar-review/
as non smoker closest brush i came to it was after watching true detective. also enjoy peaky blinders for the general dangling a cigarette out of corner of mouth thing
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=9Xqv73O_eR4
This afternoon was the most weed I’ve smelled since I moved in here in July. The oldsters were getting ready for the earlybird special! It’s allegedly against the rules, but fuck off with that. I don’t smoke inside, but this place is built around a 9 hole golf course, there are plenty of places to spark one up without bothering anyone.
Back when I was rumored to have smoked (never proven) and I would work up in Vancouver, I would bring a carton of Marlboro Lights across the border. The Canadian version has the same label but they are very different, not in a good way. Light one up and the Canadians could smell them across a room and ask to bum an American cigarette. I don’t know what’s in them but there’s something.
Government busy bodies. That’s the difference.
I may or may not have mailed menthols to certain Canucks involved with DFO. Apparently that’s verboten in our hat.
So, you’re sort of an international arms dealer.
Roast beast sammich:
Glass full of sugar:
Interesting cup.
Sorry, I have trainees working in my control room today and one of them reversed these images. Don’t worry, he’s been sent back to prison.
From where?
The sandwich, not the trainee.
You should know it!
Tam O’Shanter
Nice !
https://vimeo.com/1167211591
Excellent lane choices!
Goodness fourteen inches of snow and then a month later another 12. I feel like RFK at Bed Bath and Beyond.
Oh, I thought of another band name for that thing with him and Kid Rock: Anthrax.
I never smoked more than a pack every week or two, mostly when I was drinking or walking at night so I could burn anyone who tried to mug me. I was pretentioUs as fuck about it too, in college at least. For a while it was bidis, sometimes cloves, and for a while I also rolled my own. I would do it ahead of time and carry them in a vintage gold cigarette case with built in lighter that lit automatically when you closed the case. It was a Ronson. When I smoked ‘normal’ cigs it was these Turkish ones. I got all of this from the smoke shops on Sixth Ave where I also got my fake id. Later on this awesome Russian lady I met in Sweden got me on to slims, which I liked cause I always kinda sucked at smoking. Probably why I never got hooked, just kinda trailed off with it and never had cravings. I’ll occasionally bum a drag nowadays, mostly miss the going outside part and the sociability
I think I read this in a stall at Lilith Fair
Oh, and I remember all the protohipsters smoked Luckys
My Dad smoked Lucky’s when he was in Vietnam, and that’s why Southeast Asia is a bastion of democracy to this very day.
Slims look great.
Related: any respectable joint should be as thick as a slim, at least (source: ◼️◼️◼️◼️◼️◼️)
Yeah, great packaging too
Uf 🥰
You’re à better roller than me then. Mine all come out looking pregnant
Yep. That all does sound quite pretentious. Forgivable though, we’re all subject to the lure of vanity.
For lighters I always thought the desk mounted ones like in the maltese falcon were the cat’s meow.
I would love to have one of those, I’ve seen a couple in antique shops and flea markets. They are heavy as fuck, and can be bolted down, possibly so people don’t steal them.
If you ever find a working one again let me know. I will send you the equivalent in Trump Bucks* for the purchase and shipping no matter the weight, plus a bottle of Canadian rye whisky.
If you can fill it with high quality cocaine, malort and Marlboros that would be solid but just a bonus.
*patent pending, I’ve already been sued for mentioning them
Oh there’s no “possibly” about that.
https://www.wtae.com/article/allegheny-county-police-man-dead-after-shooting-involving-police-in-heidelberg/70450094
My friend was the dispatcher for this last night. She says she never heard the “shots fired” call. She’s still pretty shaken by it.
This cheesedick reportedly told the 9-1-1 operator that police were going to have to kill him. Suicide-by-cop affects much more than just the person who wants to die but is too chickenshit to do themself.
I suspect that’s part of the appeal for some of these sort of suiciders
And everyone knows if you want to die via Law Enforcement nowadays, you just make your skin tone like Nick DiPaolo’s and hang out by a Home Depot at 7am.
Cheesedick: “I’ll never surrender, you pigs will have to kill me first.”
Cop whose wife burned the toast that morning:
MANDATION WARNING MANDATION WARNING
Guess I’m here till 06:00. I had the feeling this would happen. Glad I brought extra food, which I won’t eat. I never eat here.
Can’t imagine why.
for that mysterious flavor
James Bond’s brand, per the books. Allegedly smoked 60 a day.
Mm. Look good. Those metallic lines around the filter are maybe too classy.
These black tobacco darts from Spain are the cheapest but they smell gloriously. But they’re a sledgehammer to the lungs
IIRC these suckers were about $1.50/pack back in 2001
General Dwight Eisenhower smoked 5 packs a day of unfiltered cigarettes during the months of planning the D-Day invasion and beyond. General Ulysses S Grant smoked 20+ cigars a day during the Civil War. Joe DiMaggio chain-smoked in the dugout all of his career.
LESSON: Smoking is for winners.
This guy:
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=1kAxWFju4EY
37!
IN A ROW!?
I wish to fuck nicotine did it for me. Because smoking is just cool, damn it. Think back to every girl you knew who smoked. Cool as fuck, wasn’t she?
And Hippo felt verrrryyyyy self-conscious at the club without sommet to do with his hands.
Yeah, I’m old enough to remember when one could light up INSIDE the club.
But…nothing. Just made my food taste like shit for 24-36 hours.
Plus, betcha DonT was suave enough to smoke Marlboro Reds (aka Cowboy Killers). I always had to smoke the girlier ones.
Best smoking story I know? David Sedaris. He felt bad for quitting and leaving his community behind, so he recruited a young lady to take his place first. THAT is a cool motherfucker.
Aprapos of fuckshit, this is the best song of 2026 (so far):
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=lCjrVAmzmLU
Wouldn’t you know it? I did look cool
https://m.youtube.com/watch?v=bDJgxcgBtMg
Pure indoctrination 😍
Even Micky’s friends can’t help it.
Oh yeah. Wintons [sic] are a big seller down here, sold everywhere, less expensive too. Too cardboard-y for my taste, but last resort, yeah sure.
Gotta love old cigarette ads and their totally not designed to appeal to kids aesthetic! Candy cigarettes were the best though, and lighting them with a Pez dispenser
Even as a non-smoker, I’ve noticed the brand loyalty. My buddies that smoke definitely have the particular cigarettes they like and will only smoke another brand if they are fresh out and desperate.
Goddamn I love tobacco. I smoked menthols for a few years – à lady landlord got me started – and then day I just turned right off them. I needed the real burn of a regular dart.
I went with king size for the longest time. I tried a few brands before settling on a full strength with brown filter. I can’t even remember it now. And they force them to change the types from descriptors to colours every few years in Canada to save us from our own joy. I chose the brown filter mostly to avoid lighting the wrong end in the dark.
Now I’m on export A smooth regulars. A few a day but on a good time weekend night it’ll be a pack.
I’ve also quit a few times but it hasn’t stuck yet. And you got it there, a woman smoking is like fuel to the flame. Damn I need a smoke.
100s are a great idea—more smoke at the same price! But I don’t like them; too long. Plus you need cargo pants to carry those big-ass packs, and that strains the outfit possibilities 😂
The one who got me started smoked 100s. I went to regulars as a way to lie to myself that it was progress towards quitting.
https://m.youtube.com/watch?v=exeb2tdAkvM
Marlboro reds are great. I don’t think you can get them here but even if I could they’d be some sort of bastardized Canadian version. I bought them whenever I went to the states. Not that I’ll ever do that again.