[DOOR FLIES OPEN]

"Last funny: For sale: Baby Jetpack. Worn once." – rockingdog

Log In

Monday Morning Mock Draft: Let’s Make Things Right

Horatio Cornblower

/

Guten tag, drones.

Today, if you’re in the United States of Ontario, you’re celebrating Labor Day, which means you’re not working.  This has affected today’s topic, as I had planned to go with ‘TV Series That Ended Well’ although I probably would have come up with a better title than that.

Probably.

But the thing is, if we’re doing Labor Day right, most of us will be off doing something else, preferably outside and enjoying what is traditionally considered the last day of summer.  And that TV series ending topic deserves better than that.  it deserves a day when we’re all working, and can devote the necessary time and energy to making really good picks, while taking that time and energy from our soulless corporate employers.

If you’re self-employed I don’t know what to tell you.

So I’m going to put that one back on the shelf.  Look for it to sometime in March, 2027, assuming humanity as a collective hasn’t made the Earth an unlivable hellscape.  In which case we’ll do that draft from a volcano lair, but the first rule of the volcano liar is that you don’t talk about the volcano lair, so let’s just move it along, people.

This week’s substitute topic, then, is “Sports Rule You’d Change”

Is it a rule in a sport?  Do you not like it?  You got yourself a draft pick!

With the first pick I will change the Lesser Footy offside rule to allow a person who started from an offsides position to play the ball AFTER AN INITIAL SAVE HAS BEEN MADE.  Yes, this is inspired by Arsenal just losing a goal under those exact circumstances.  After seeing the replay, and having the coloUr guy explain it to me like I was 8, I agree it was the right call.

But I hate it.

Let’s, as Bonnie Blue might say, see a little more chaos around the box.  So, new rule, if a player is offsides but plays the ball from that position after the keeper has made a save on a shot from an onside player, that player shall not be considered to have been offsides.

The rest of you are on the clock.  Make some new rules, modify some old rules, enjoy the day off, don’t work to hard, or at all, but most of all

We’ll see you back here after Super Bowl LXI, or whatever.  Don’t forget to pick up after yourselves:  Hippo Thoughts moves in next week.

5 3 votes
Article Rating
Tags:

Leave a Reply

Subscribe
Notify of
12 Comments
Fronkenshteen

Tuck Rule. Gone

0
Rikki-Tikki-Deadly

2. To expand on/modify Yeah Right’s pick, kickoffs should be changed to a punt-style kick with concentric landing zones (i.e. a series of rings). Outermost is offense gets the ball at the 50, next is 35, etc. In the innermost ring there’s a pair of buckets – one is “retain possession” (i.e. successful onsides kick) and the other is “return touchdown”. Land in the bucket and that’s what you get!

0
King Hippo

Baseball should go back to regular rules of play in extra innings, but after 12 innings if still tied? DRAW.

Can extend to 14 innings in September, obviously N/A in playoffs.

0
scotchnaut

I guess this a ‘rule’ in that every endzone has to be a specific size. I’d say when new facilities are built (and existing ones can be modified a bit) you can make the endzone no smaller than the current size and no bigger than, say, the CFL’s. Baseball stadiums have been built like this from the very beginning and it would add character to the game and create another level of strategizing.

/hell, you could shift the dimensions every year as the team sees fit.

0
Gatoraids

This telecast is copyrighted by the NFL for the private use of our audience. Any other use of this telecast or of any pictures, descriptions, or accounts of the game without the NFL’s consent, is prohibited

0
yeah right

During kickoff, if the ball goes through the goal posts it’s a “Rouge” and it’s worth 2 points to the kicking team.

1
Rikki-Tikki-Deadly

1. Let’s talk basketball. This is a little complex, but I’m convinced it would help the end-of-game slog immensely: in the final minute of a basketball game, any foul committed outside of the three-point line on the team that possesses the ball during the first eight seconds of the shot clock results in three free throws. This serves two purposes:

a). It prevents the trailing team from fouling intentionally to stop the clock and extend the game. Basically, it allows the team with the lead to “kneel” on the ball for eight seconds (unless the trailing team is willing to pay the price of the extra free throw).

b). It prevents a team that is leading by three points from fouling intentionally in order to prevent the trailing team from attempting a three-pointer.

0
Brick Meathook

NFL hash marks should be moved back out to college positions.

0
blaxabbath

Eliminate all salary caps.

0
WCS

Current shitty rule: An offensive player fumbling the ball through the back of the endzone is a touchback for the defense.

Fixed new shitty rule: The offense gets the ball back, minus the down, and at the five-yard line of the defense. It’s still a turnover on downs if it’s fumbled out of the endzone on fourth down.

3
ballsofsteelandfury

There should be no such thing as Unnecessary Roughness. It’s too subjective and ripe for abuse.

It’s a tough game. Suck it up, buttercup.

4
12
0
Would love your thoughts, please comment.x
()
x