The scene: The Moosemobile, which is racing desperately towards the Castle of Death while a mad clown clings to the hood. Future Moose is driving, with Doktor Zymm riding shotgun, Man in Plaid #2’s head in her lap. In the backseat are WCS and Pirate Sloth.

Oh, and there’s a sky-hole that’s dropping psychotic clowns all over the place. If you suffer from coulrophobia, you may want to stop reading now, because we’re in a full-on…

Doktor Zymm: Clownpocalypse?

Future Moose: That’s what I said! We’re in trouble now!

Pirate Sloth: Arr, far be it from me to be askin’ a silly question, but…

WCS: Just what the heck is a Clownpocalypse?

Pirate Sloth: Aye.

Man in Plaid #2’s Head: It was…or is, rather…an interdimensional invasion. You see, a rift has been opened between this dimension and that of the Clownverse…

Pirate Sloth: Arr…

WCS: Oh, c’mon! You’re just making this up now, right?

Man in Plaid #2’s Head: Would that I were. The Clownverse has long viewed your dimension as ripe for a full-scale invasion. They have been able to slip individual agents through now and then…

Doktor Zymm: Ach! Zat explains Trump!

Man in Plaid #2’s Head: But they have never managed to open a rift as wide as this before.

WCS: So how’d they do it this time?

Man in Plaid #2’s Head: I do not know. That is a question that has been queried by dimensional scholars for eons…

Cut to: The top floor of the Castle of Death, where Ballsofsteelandfury is (finally!) putting on some pants while Covalent Blonde and Yolanda the vampire look discretely away.

Covalent Blonde: And just why do we have to look away again?

Ballsofsteelandfury: I’m not an exhibitionist, okay? Geez!

Yolanda: It’s not like we haven’t seen you naked…

Ballsofsteelandfury: It’s a guy thing, all right? I just have to make sure everything’s in place before I zipper up. One time I was trying to drink a beer and zip up at the same time…

Yolanda (looking out the window): Oh, no…

Ballsofsteelandfury: Right? Not a good idea!

Covalent Blonde (going to the window): I think she’s talking about the clowns falling from that big sky-hole, you dork.

Ballsofsteelandfury (joining them at the window): Huh. That’s…unique.

Yolanda: Lilith’s ritual…she never completed it! She must have opened a portal to the wrong dimension!

Covalent Blonde: There’s a dimension of…clowns?

Yolanda: Si! There are all kinds of dimensions…the Spyverse, the Pirateverse, the Bimboverse…

Ballsofsteelandfury (shooting a finger gun): There’s a Bimboverse? Well, I know where I’m planning my next vacation!

Yolanda: This is serious! Lilith was trying to open a portal to the dimension where her old boyfriend resides, but somehow connected to the Clownverse instead. And the Clownverse is one of the most terrifying dimensions of all!

Covalent Blonde: Seriously? They’re frickin’ clowns! How scary can they be?

Cut to: The Moosemobile again, where the clown holding onto the car hood has inched his way forward, towards the windshield.

Future Moose: Uh-oh, our playmate here is getting a nasty look in his eye.

WCS: Ah, what can he do? Spray us with a fake flower?

As if in response, the clown grins a mouth full of yellowed, gnarled teeth, then produces a nasty looking axe.

Pirate Sloth: Arr, ye be askin’ a stupid question…

The clown chops down at the windshield. Amazingly, it doesn’t chip, or crack, or shatter. As a matter of fact, the axe just harmlessly bounces off of it.

Future Moose: What the heck?

Doktor Zymm: Ach, ja! Zat is vat else I added to ze Moozemobile. I replaced ze vindshield mit ein Kraftfeld.

Future Moose: You added a force field? Nice!

Doktor Zymm: Ja, mit ze trouble you all get into, I thought it might come in handy.

Annoyed and confused, the clown continues his futile attack on the force field. His evil grin turns into an exasperated frown as he chops away ineffectually.

Pirate Sloth: Arr! Stupid clown! Not so tough now, are ye?

With a nasty look at Pirate Sloth, the clown springs to his feet on the hood of the speeding Moosemobile, and then jumps up onto the top of the car.

Future Moose: Pirate Sloth! C’mon, man! Why are you pissing off the psycho clown?!!

Pirate Sloth: Clowns an’ pirates be natural enemies.

There’s a pounding sound from the top of the car, and the screech of metal. With terrifying strength the clown chops through the roof of the car, opening a jagged hole above WCS and Pirate Sloth.

WCS: Uh-oh… I kind of wish you’d reinforced the roof, too, Zymm!

Doktor Zymm: Vell if I considered zat we might be attacked by verrückt clowns, I might have!

The clown peers down into the hole, grins as he spots WCS, and then reaches a large, white-gloved hand towards him.

WCS (fighting off the clown): Ahh! Get away from me, ya creepo!

Pirate Sloth (grabbing the clown’s arm): Arr, get yer clowny hands off me mate!

Future Moose (hitting the gas): Hang on, guys! I’m gonna de-clown us the hard way!

Future Moose steers the Moosemobile straight for the yuuuge wooden doors of the Castle of Death. The psycho clown looks up at the last instant as the car hits the doors hard, crashing through them. The Moosemobile skids to a stop on the stone floor, covered in dust and rubble.

Future Moose: Holy cow, what a rush!

Doktor Zymm: Did we get rid of ze clown?

Pirate Sloth (holding up the clown’s arm): Well, most of him.

WCS: That’s…gross.

Future Moose (getting out of the Moosemobile): If nothing else, you got a cool souvenir.

As the others get out of the Moosemobile, Otto’s Brain comes rolling in, followed by Low Commander, Señor Weaselo and La Araña Discoteca.

Otto’s Brain: Oh, hey, guys! You’ll never guess what’s been… Hey, is that an arm?

Pirate Sloth (still holding the clown arm): Aye. It be clown.

Otto’s Brain: Huh. Hey, we saw Wolfman Rob schtupping a vampire!

Future Moose: Wolfman Rob is here? No wonder everything is going to hell.

Otto’s Brain (rolling up to the shattered doors): Hey, did that clown have friends?

Pirate Sloth: Oh, aye. They be rainin’ from the sky.

Otto’s Brain: Yeah. That would explain the crazed mob of clowns heading this way.

Pirate Sloth: Arr!

Future Moose looks out of the shattered doorway at the oncoming horde of gibbering maniacs in bright colors and clown-white.

Future Moose: Low Commander?

Low Commander (resignedly): Yes, my Emperor?

Future Moose: Deal with this, will you?

Low Commander (sighing): Yes, my Emperor.

Señor Weaselo (stepping forward): You will not deal with this alone, my friend. We are luchadores, warriors against all supernatural threats to our native land!

La Araña Discoteca: Esos payasos van a ver lo que es enfrentar el poder de lucha libre!

Pirate Sloth (brandishing the clown arm): Aye, I’m with ye as well!

WCS (picking up Otto’s Brain): C’mon, Otto. Let’s go kick some clown ass.

Otto’s Brain: What? Hey, put me down!

Future Moose: Hold the door, men. Zymm, we need to figure out how to close that damn portal before the whole country is covered in clowns.

Man in Plaid #2’s Head: I may be able to…

Doktor Zymm: Vell, mit a rift zis size, ve vill need to either plug it up mit zomezing huge or…

Future Moose: Blow it up. But for that we’d need something in the nuclear range.

Man in Plaid #2’s Head: Yes, I…

Doktor Zymm: But vere can ve find a…

Man in Plaid #2’s Head: EXCUSE ME.

Doktor Zymm: Ach! Zorry. Vat vere you zaying?

Man in Plaid #2’s Head: I think I may be able to help…

To be continued…