Hey there, fellow casual office gamblers!  How fucked is everyone’s bracket so far?  At least the drinking and/or drugs can start now.

/ok, increase in volume and intensity

#11W Xavier v. #6W Maryland (6:50, TNT)

It’s not so much that I love Xavier, as much as I find Maryland warmed over dog turds.  They are just fucking awful.  I have the Musketeers advancing in every bracket.  The Big East played some pretty decent ball this season.  Query – how would one ever know if Chris Mack got cancer??

#16E Mt. St. Mary’s v. #1E Villanova (7:10, CBS)

That play-in thriller will actually count as an NCAAT “win” FOAR “The Mount” – isn’t that nice??  I’m sure their moms are like, super fucking proud.

#10W VCU v. #7W St. Mary’s (7:20, TBS)

Shaka Smart replacement Will Wade is doing a fuckton better than Shaka be doin’ at Texas.  Something about the Peter Principle??  Also note that the tip times are less spread out than in the afternoon, which is annoying as fuck (even with the 16/1 in the mix, which won’t be competitive).  Nobody thinks the 7-seeded Gaels are the better side here.

#13MW Vermont v. #4MW Purdue (7:27, truTV)

Finally, we break our Midwest regional cherry!!  And it’s with Purdue, the boringest fucking team with a Top 4 seed.  They lucked into a fairly weak-assed 13, or they’d be out on the sidewalk immediately (and still might be).

#14W FGCU v. #3W Florida State (9:20, TBS)

The Credit Union is back!! But they are no longer Dunk City, and lack Coach Andy and his supermodel wife.  Florida State is a pretty merciless bunch this season, too.  Don’t expect the magic to repeat itself.

#9E Virginia Tech v. #8E Wisconsin (9:40, CBS)

This should feel more like a prize fight than a basketball contest, but probably still quite exciting (like boxing used to be).  VPI has been bitten hard by the injury bug, but has kept playing at a high level.  Wiscy apparently has a deal with Old Scratch, so I have given up writing them off.  One of my kids picked them to win the whole thing.

#15W North Dakota v. #2W Arizona (9:50, TNT)

The ass-whipping of the late-late games.  I don’t see Sean Miller going out embarrassingly early this season.

#12MW Nevada v. #5MW Iowa State (9:57, truTV)

I absolutely love watching the Cyclones play.  They absolutely could take down Kansas.  But this one is tricky, and Iowa State has a checkered history in openers.  I expect the Wolf Pack (no typo, the desert varietal do spell it that way ,, smh) to take this one down to the final minutes.  So…caffeinate appropriately, fucknuts.