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Hasta la Vista, Grantland

Darkest Timeline Zack Morris

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This is the current banner. Jason and all.
This is the current banner. Jason and all.

ESPN has officially killed their longform storytelling boutique site, and the inspiration for the greatest subdomain on the interwebs, the MMQB.

http://espnmediazone.com/us/espn-statement-regarding-grantland/

While Simmons’ departure certainly put Grantland on notice of cancellation, the news, coming the Friday before Halloween when they hoped we weren’t looking, is still jarring.  Personally, I was always a fan of Simmons, even as he went off the rails into pseudo-celebrity and intense homerism in the last few years.  His older blogs on the old ESPN Page 2 were some of the great examples of what an “amateur” could do as a sportswriter, and are one of the reasons that this site exists.  Grantland was on borrowed time, and I hope that the talented writers that are now out of a job can find gainful employment elsewhere.  So long, and thanks for all the insightful articles and fish.

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ballsofsteelandfury

So, does this mean I can start a weekly column on how Beverly Hills 90210 and The O.C. are twin brothers from two fathers?

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laserguru

Drop a few Boogie Nights references and you can “sweep the leg”.

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His Right Honorable Lord Lordship the Lordly

Speaking of disappearing sites, I doubt Film Drunk will survive the year.

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Rikki-Tikki-Deadly

If that’s the case, I hope some of their commenters find their way over here; they’re pretty funny.

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BrettFavresColonoscopy

Start spamming their comment section with DFO links.

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BrettFavresColonoscopy

My friend who lives in a locker made $12 by making dick jokes with strangers!

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ballsofsteelandfury

That’s fucking hilarious!

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Marc Trestmans Windowless Van

I came back for one more. Not sure this is the best gif… I could come back for one more… ok, go away

http://media.giphy.com/media/l41m0YoUbeX7LZ8Fa/giphy.gif

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Marc Trestmans Windowless Van

I think everyone has moved on, I am done. Still need to catch up on TV. Going back to that.

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Marc Trestmans Windowless Van

comment image

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Marc Trestmans Windowless Van

I am just in for Aubrey Plaza gifs, the rarer the more I like them

http://img.pandawhale.com/50656-Aubrey-plaza-gif-QjlH.gif

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Marc Trestmans Windowless Van

Ok, in this one she IS gonna kill the kitten, hasn’t happened yet

comment image

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Marc Trestmans Windowless Van

Am I allowed to like the fact she can’t wink because she had a stroke at an early age? I am on team not quite right wink

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ballsofsteelandfury

Is that true?

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Marc Trestmans Windowless Van

I did an animated gif search for Aubrey plaza kill to match WCS’s I feel I should instead post more gifs that aren’t killing just because

http://reactiongifs.me/wp-content/uploads/2014/01/wow-gif-aubrey-plaza-not-impressed-sarcastic-safety-not-guaranteed.gif

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Marc Trestmans Windowless Van

I will get to that. And using a promo gif as a masturbation gif is just slacking.

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Low Commander of the Super Soldiers

*jacking

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indieguy

it seems we’re looking at a time in the internet that i don’t believe has ever happened. where institutions and mainstays start to crumbling and make way for “new” and “better”. I’m sure sites and popular columns get cancelled or dropped all the time but not one with such a loyal base. the internet seems like it’s becoming a lot more like the real world in that effect. instead of everyone just enjoying things and kinda doing what they want and finding their niche online with things, these big monoliths are coming in to feng shui the shit of things to optimize the internet for themselves at the expense of smaller pockets of people. DFO is a good example of what happens when you do that. but honestly how often does that happen. how many people will mourn the loss and then go along with whatever espn throws at them.

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Marc Trestmans Windowless Van

DFO still gets way more clicks than KSK/it’s offspring, or at least comments. And back when the sites on were worth checking out “Bring back Matt” they really tried but were for profit. I still miss Danger though. He has no interest in football though.

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Low Commander of the Super Soldiers

I thought Danger was a big ‘Fins fan. I know he guest wrote a couple of bits on KSK when Ape and some other folks had a week off.

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ballsofsteelandfury

I agree with you. We need to keep this going to fight against the corporate takeover of fun.

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Low Commander of the Super Soldiers

My favorite Simmons memory was once when he filled in for Mike Wilbon on PTI (I was in college and was clearly making a lot of bad decisions) and he just started ranting and raving that Tom Brady bought a house in LA, and how he was Hollywood, was out of touch with BEANTOWN and had become an ELITIST.
Tony Kornheiser calmly turns to him and says, “And where do you live now, Bill?”
“…….LA.”

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jjfozz

Don’t you dare ever again make me like Kornholereiser for even a second. Never again.

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Low Commander of the Super Soldiers

I’m quite confident that’s the only moment that he’s ever been likable.

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Spanky Datass

A very long time ago Tony’s radio show was the tits … VERY long time.

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nomonkeyfun

This is like the time 90210, the greatest teen show all time (no one denies this) lost Brenda Walsh, then brought in that Clare.
The show was doomed like Pats without Tom Brady the greatest QB of all time. But we found out the show runners were so brilliant they could keep it going for another 5 years, like the year Belichik got the Pats to 11-5 with Matt Cassel.

/goes on for another 10,000 words about how Grantland is similar to 90210

-Simmonsed

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Marc Trestmans Windowless Van

I wanted to stay on message and agree. Found this instead and said fuck it

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Don T

I hope Barnwell finds a place. I liked several of Pierce’s stuff. But Rembert Explains the 80s explains why I stopped going to Grantland.

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Enrico Pallazzo

I’ve always hated Andrew Sharp so I’ll just assume that they shutdown because he sucks so much. That and HOUSE-O!!!

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Sill Bimmons

I like to think that in some small way my HAWT BIMMONS TEAKS helped to make this moment possible.

Zombie KSK and Grantland down, Deadspin to go.

THEN WE RULE TEH INTERNETS

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jjfozz

I need 8 sticks of TNT, a pair of Peter King’s old socks, a fully armed and functioning Panzerkampfwagen VI Tiger Ausf. E with crew, a bottle of Bulleit bourbon, one small bag of ether, and I will burn Deadspin to the ground.

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Sill Bimmons

The only real obstacle I see here here is the tank.

I don’t know if the guys who have the only one left that still works would want to lend it to you.

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jjfozz

THIS GRANTLAND, I CALL IT A CATHOLIC SCHOOL GIRL CAUGHT GIVING BLOWJOBS, IT’S SUSPENDED AND NEVER COMING BACK.

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Lothar of the Hill People

Oh, great. Now all the Grantland writers and commenters are gonna come here and get the place all sticky.

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Darkest Timeline Zack Morris

Nah, we don’t let them login with their Facebook account – they’ll never figure this site out.

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Marc Trestmans Windowless Van

What about the myspace accounts?

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Darkest Timeline Zack Morris

Oh shit, delete the MySpace login options!

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Marc Trestmans Windowless Van

I will fill the place with idiotic comments and say stupid shit to get them ou… I got nothing, Boobs maybe

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King Hippo

Free Bill Barnwell!

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Cuntler

No, don’t. That guy has at least 10 lampshades made of human skin is his lair. He’s the bastard offspring of Slingblade and Hannibal Lector. Just fucking look at him: comment image

*shudder*

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Cuntler

P.S. I assume all of you look exactly like this in real life. What the fuck is wrong with you people? Get your shit together!

/Happy Halloween!

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Sill Bimmons

I at least had the decency to shave my head.

That straggly mess is just unnerving.

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Marc Trestmans Windowless Van

Second.

“I would never cheat in FF, how long before you cheat in my courtroom”

Kevin: NEVER

\Ruxin: About five years

Just got around to The League

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Marc Trestmans Windowless Van

First. Nice work DTZM

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Warthog

Wax on, wax off.

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Rikki-Tikki-Deadly

Jerry Richardson welcomes this news, as he’d always thought that “Grant Land” was something Obama was doing for minorities.

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Cuntler

http://i.imgur.com/9jcUL0W.gif

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Darkest Timeline Zack Morris

Always appropriate.

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