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Tao Te Cutler – Ch. 68

TaoTeCutler

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This week we had a lot of head scratches. Arizona showed they have mastered themselves by turning the ball over 3 times and still walking away with a road victory. The Texans showed that once you have nothing left to lose you have the whole world to gain. And I showed the world how much more I need to learn from our great teacher Jay Cutler. By living in the future and playing the 4th of Fallout I thought the Jags were playing the Titans last Thursday. I will have to double up my study. Now let the Cutler teach us how not to care like he.

Chapter 68

The great quarterbacks are not warlike
The great warriors do not get angry
Those who are good at defeating the other team do not engage them
Those who are good at managing the game lower their passing yards
It is called the virtue of non-contention
It is called the power of managing the game
It is called not giving a fuck
The ultimate principle of the ancients

A teacher does not force its student to learn like a quarterback should not force the throw. When one tries to apply force against the natural order than the natural order will push back.

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Moose -The End Is Well Nigh

So the next chapter will be in an unintelligible, muffled voice?

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Moose -The End Is Well Nigh

Scroll, scroll
More gifs
Let’s scroll
Scroll

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Moose -The End Is Well Nigh

Why yes I am stealing Zen from the screen caps of others ….. no one expects me to be creative.

http://49.media.tumblr.com/1c816ae2b7b1845676993a7662925dce/tumblr_nxknmnhWB91qf9csoo1_500.gif

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ballsofsteelandfury

I have the weirdest boner right now

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Moose -The End Is Well Nigh

Compared to some of these recently; only odd, but not weird.

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WCS

Alas, poor Jindal. We hardly knew ye, nor cared to learn much about you.

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SonOfSpam

I learned that he chose his Americanized first name based on the kid on The Brady Bunch.

Hoo-boy, that’s…something.

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Low Commander of the Super Soldiers

I got the chance to meet him back in 2011 at his Governor’s mansion. Having had to spend more time than I was comfortable with around politicians for the past month, he actually seemed pretty cool and was rather relate-able. Of course, this was before he started saying shit like this: http://talkingpointsmemo.com/livewire/bobby-jindal-evolution

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Moose -The End Is Well Nigh

Unless I’m mixing them up he is also the one who witnessed an exorcism” in college and believes wholeheartedly in demonic possessions.

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Moose -The End Is Well Nigh

I had to watch twice; that woman is appealing to my logical sense.

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Beerguyrob

comment image

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Brick Meathook

There once was a lad from Japan
Who kept all his farts in a can
This can he did store
On the floor by the door
So one day he could smell them again

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Beerguyrob

The Catler (Ogden Nash)

You get a wife, you get a house,
Eventually you get a mouse.
The little fucker takes some dumps,
Eventually, your kids get lumps.

At this point, you should have seen,
That your child needs vaccine.
It dawns upon you, in your cot,
If you mention that, your wife gets hot.

“We should get it, ‘fore all goes wrong”,
And now you dorm with Kyle Long.

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WCS

“That’s beautiful. That’s like poetry.”
http://img.rp.vhd.me/4601779_l3.jpg

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Low Commander of the Super Soldiers

One must not scour the Commonwealth in search of fusion cores; the fusion cores will find you.

Unless you’re my friend Keith, who used the console command to give himself an infinite number of them. In which case, fuck off, Keith.

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Duchess

To unlock the super hard mode in Fallout 4 you simply play as a black guy.

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Low Commander of the Super Soldiers

That certainly explains the outrageous vendor prices, and why they keep trying to sell me “melons.”

I almost named my character “Dahhkie,” but stopped since I thought it might make my girlfriend leave me. Turns out, it didn’t change the game play at all.

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Moose -The End Is Well Nigh

I wouldn’t do that; you would be much more likely to be incarcerated for the same offense.

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Doktor Zymm

Work clearly gets in the way of sitting on the beach, drinking beer and eating fish tacos. Work is not the way to enlightenment, so rather than do that for the next 20 or 30 years I’m gonna double what I’m saving, and seek the cat’s path of buying a beach house and laying about in the sun. With beer. And tacos.

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Duchess

Move effortlessly like a cat across the floor when the sun shines down.

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Doktor Zymm

Be not afraid to roll on your back and expose your belly to the sunbeam.

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Moose -The End Is Well Nigh

I did that and now I have to register with “the office” every month.

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Sill Bimmons

“The great warriors do not get angry”

So how much longer until the tao punishes this asshole?

http://2.media.collegehumor.cvcdn.com/76/50/e090ccfd797a17ea230369c76856a051-tom-brady-mad-6.gif

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Low Commander of the Super Soldiers

Whenever it is, it’s not soon enough.

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Duchess

Soon! They barely beat the dumb Giants and their worst in the league passing defense, They have only really man-handled teams like the Jaguars, Redskins, Colts and Cowboys all the rest have been won by a touchdown or less.

The Bills or the Jets will fail upwards and defeat the Pats.

Laugh it up, but the Jets are a legitimate top 5 Defense and Buffalo has a stout Run Defense. With Edelman out the Bills just need to stop Gronk. The only other person on the field they throw to is Dion Lewis out of the backfield. How much would you trust Danny Amendola or Brandon LaFell?

AAlso the Buffalo offense threw 3 interceptions the las time they played and is the only time this season Taylor played that badly. This Monday night is not a run away victory.

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blaxabbath

Talking about Brandon LaFell? I’m more interested in being Brian Lefevre.

http://38.media.tumblr.com/tumblr_meaef7npWc1qaldqoo8_r1_250.gif

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WCS

We’re totally gonna get off.
http://i.imgur.com/zC8i1UY.gif

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jjfozz

“I’m getting up to brew a pot of tea.”

I just heard this at work. I need to punch something.

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Moose -The End Is Well Nigh

What other common daily activities that have no consequential affect on you do you become enraged at?

*Has own set of common daily activities that have no consequential affect on me that I become enraged at.

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jjfozz

The same guy who said that has hthis awful, obnoxious laugh. It’s like sitting next to a brain damaged goat.

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SonOfSpam

Meow meow meow meow meow
Meow meow meow meow meow meow meow
Meow meow meow hiss meow

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Sill Bimmons

That’s tight bro.

That’s tight.

/wipes away tear

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Moose -The End Is Well Nigh

Not exactly sure why; but that cracked me up, and to the tune of the MeowMix commercial.

http://41.media.tumblr.com/354fdd212070861cc2d353f9b642cd42/tumblr_n030ohjhOq1ql52wpo1_500.jpg

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ballsofsteelandfury

I heard that too.

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ballsofsteelandfury

I do love how DFO has brought out the poet in all of us.

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nomonkeyfun

We should know it.
Our feet show it,
they’re Longfellows.

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Doktor Zymm

Someone on Hermosa beach named their beachhouse foot of Longfellow. Random to see that, then have the reference here.

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nomonkeyfun

Glue, it isn’t from you.
You’re not actually a horse, of course.
Keeping Manning isn’t planning.
Here’s a carrot you big toothed mother fucker.

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Don T

Just as sight may stray from Truth, mechanics lead astray from Advancement. Desireleness is the only Way, off the back foot passes the Means.

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jjfozz

When the clock ticks down
Time turns to sand
Vanishes into the ether
Like the breath of a butterfly
So in the future, Elvis, don’t grab that guys fucking facemask.

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BrettFavresColonoscopy

If the picklefucker groweth a mustache, one mustache yourself if it bothers you. Lo, it shall not, and you shall throw for three touchdowns whilst achieving oneness with the non-picklefuckers.

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blaxabbath

Sunday is your day of rest. If ownership asks for your hustle on a Sunday, you shall not care for their wants.

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