AWWWOOOOOOOOO

So it happened. Rob Ryan has officially been callously booted from the sinking riverboat that is the Neyw Orlins Saints.

I come to bury Caligula, not to praise him. Yes, I sorta shit on Rob in my season preview, noting that his name outstripped his numbers. And yes, his defense has shown a heartbeat in exactly one game this year. And yes, making Kirk “Incest” Cousins look like Jesus-Loves-Me-Era Kurt Warner is a capital offense in 27 states. But that doesn’t mean I agree with canning him mid-season.

The Aints are mired at the bottom of their division, which (unlike last year) means they have no shot at the division title. They’re worse than the Buccaneers, the flashing-LED-Alarm-Clock-After-A-Power-Outage of the NFL. A brief examination of their remaining schedule suggests a best-day 7-9 season, which condemns them to another mid-round draft pick with little hope of finding Breesus’ replacement save through actual divine* intervention.

*Or Satanic. Looking at you, Tawm “Pick 199” Brady

So instead I propose the better idea would have been to keep Rob, his van and his entourage of Thai ladyboy “quality control assistants” on the payroll, and just turn them the fuck loose. Either you will see a significant uptick in the defense’s performance from the “run through a brick wall” factor (See Rex’s Crimson Scourge) or they will blow out entirely, giving NO a legit shot at drafting Drew Almighty’s successor in the first two rounds, a year before he becomes Utterly Useless.

So anyway. Weep not for the Wolfman, for he will finally have the time to devote to his true hobby: obtaining the complete set of Franklin Mint “Mama’s Family” Collectable Plates. Instead, weep for us: the forsaken children left with no cool/creepy uncle left to buy us Natty Light.

The Right Reverend Electric Mayhem

The Right Reverend Electric Mayhem

Feared conqueror; scholar; poet; revered holy man; professional raconteur; soldier of fortune; gentle yet thorough lover; bandit; blazing gypsy speedboat. I have been called most of these things.
The Right Reverend Electric Mayhem

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The Right Reverend Electric Mayhem
The Right Reverend Electric Mayhem
Feared conqueror; scholar; poet; revered holy man; professional raconteur; soldier of fortune; gentle yet thorough lover; bandit; blazing gypsy speedboat. I have been called most of these things.
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Moose -The End Is Well NighDuchessHoratio CornblowerRikki-Tikki-DeadlyThe Right Reverend Electric Mayhem Recent comment authors
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Moose -The End Is Well Nigh
Moose -The End Is Well Nigh
Moose -The End Is Well Nigh
Moose -The End Is Well Nigh
Sill Bimmons
Sill Bimmons

Rob Gronkowski ✔@RobGronkowski
my moms home made Chicken Sue flay. Super delicious and yummy!

/doesn’t know how to C&P tweets in the tweet box

Low Commander of the Super Soldiers

Grumblegrumble I know all about that grumblegrumble.

Duchess

Test

Duchess

They have an “embed” choice that give you the code

Sill Bimmons
Sill Bimmons

my moms home made Chicken Sue flay. Super delicious and yummy! #sixstargronkchat https://t.co/AU11V5aWdR— Rob Gronkowski (@RobGronkowski) November 17, 2015

Duchess

Rikki-Tikki-Deadly

I swear to god if one of you went all House Bolton on Soo Lin I will John Wick all of you, even the innocent bystanders.

Horatio Cornblower

Well OK, but I get to be the suave black guy who handles the front desk at the assassins hotel.

Sill Bimmons
Sill Bimmons

Mistah Foles, he dead.

“As I told Case, he doesn’t have a short leash,” Fisher said. “I’m gonna let him play. I’m gonna let him use his legs, and let him make some plays.”

Case. Keenum.

I think that’s the name of the US military’s contingency plan should every aircraft carrier be simultaneously sunk by Silkworm missiles.

Sill Bimmons
Sill Bimmons

My ex-wife used to work for the Franklin Mint.

I have over 200 fully leatherbound novels and collections, that awesome hand-painted pewter Civil War chess set we all wanted when we were kids, and a Monopoly table.

What’s a Monopoly table? I’ll tell you.

It is made entirely out of cherry, the board is outlined in 24kt gold, the color details on the board are enameled, the playing pieces are silver-plated, the houses are silver-plated, the hotels are 24kt gold-plated, and there are green felt-lined trays that you pull out to keep your cash and deeds on.

The books were a buck apiece, the chess set was $30 and the Monopoly table was $50.

blaxabbath

We all know what Monopoly table is, you show off!

Sill Bimmons
Sill Bimmons

Just wait till you see me make it rain with Title Deeds bro

http://p2.la-img.com/899/16974/5688627_3_l.jpg

Low Commander of the Super Soldiers

I use my board games as tables too, but just because they’re not all fancy, suddenly I’M the failure who will never live up to my father’s accomplishments of things like “owning REAL furniture,” whatever the hell THAT means.

Duchess

Maybe he will be the DC for the Jaguars next year

Rikki-Tikki-Deadly

Very nice.

Doktor Zymm

Which NFL cities already have the hooker and blow infrastructure in place, as well as adequate van parking? I’m voting he goes to Miami.

Marc Trestmans Windowless Van
Marc Trestmans Windowless Van

Chicago has the infrastructure and the whores. Travelling 10 miles takes three hours

Marc Trestmans Windowless Van
Marc Trestmans Windowless Van

Shows that deliver a side show or flashback should at least not be stupid as fuck in their portrayal. Low budget sitcoms deliver great episodes on no budget. I may go watch an SGA ep out of spite. I know that show is not good but it tried. Sick of shows not trying.

Moose -The End Is Well Nigh
Moose -The End Is Well Nigh
Marc Trestmans Windowless Van
Marc Trestmans Windowless Van

Lovie always posts records better than he should deserve. Challenge. Timeout

Can we get Wolfman as an assistant D coach in Chicago? I think his insanity would match up nice with our more level headed coaches

Moose -The End Is Well Nigh
Moose -The End Is Well Nigh
nomonkeyfun

I for one am glad to see NO become the ‘Aints again. There has been a disturbance in the force for the last decade or so that is most concerning.

I miss the days when NO had a monopoly on Billie Joe QBs.

When I think of one of the Ryan twins getting fired, I get sad, then I remember that they are a less talented version of Buddy “my team won fewer games than before I came here, I deserve an A+” Ryan, and let me waste the prime of the most exciting QB in NFL history, then I don’t really care.

blaxabbath

Rob is gone?

This stupid fucking country.

Moose -The End Is Well Nigh
Moose -The End Is Well Nigh

GOTTA FIRE SOMEBODY!

It means we are ding something.

blaxabbath

It’s not like the front office built this roster and gave out those contracts!

Moose -The End Is Well Nigh
Moose -The End Is Well Nigh

Hey! You know damn well we can’t fire “executives”!

Rikki-Tikki-Deadly

On the plus side, promoting Dennis Allen to defensive coordinator will provide a fresh injection of gasoline to the tire fire that is the Saints defense.

Moose -The End Is Well Nigh
Moose -The End Is Well Nigh
indieguy
indieguy

can he go to the browns? i mean he can’t do much worse

Moose -The End Is Well Nigh
Moose -The End Is Well Nigh
ballsofsteelandfury

Were the Golden Girls a spinoff of Mama’s Family?

http://estateofrue.com/wp-content/uploads/catablog/fullsize/1527y.jpg

Moose -The End Is Well Nigh
Moose -The End Is Well Nigh
Moose -The End Is Well Nigh
Moose -The End Is Well Nigh

Mistake/ not mistake;

Here is a young Rue McClanahan; I think you are on to this conspiracy.

http://media-cache-ak0.pinimg.com/736x/e0/e0/45/e0e0451cdb4a81902b64c4d7bf586bed.jpg

Moose -The End Is Well Nigh
Moose -The End Is Well Nigh
Horatio Cornblower

“cool, creepy uncle who will buy us Natty Light”

Rob Ryan will bet you that he can throw a football over those mountains over there.

Moose -The End Is Well Nigh
Moose -The End Is Well Nigh
WCS