Bonus February Lesser Footy Open Thread

Leap Years can get right fucked.  Let’s be clear about that.  This photo makes me smile, remembering when I looked upon politics with something other than existential dread.  Plus…KITTY!!  I did indeed wear this shirt to vote last night.

Also, I either ate something not-too-good, or dealt with a stomach bug all Thursday night into Friday morning.  So, this writing shall be fairly brief and to the point.

Look, you’re not waking up for Brighton and Palace (7:30, NBCSN).  Unless you are Litre’s sadistic kid.  In which case…enjoy that sweet nil-nil goodness/family time.

Only three fixtures in the 10:00 window (we have some postponements due to the League Cup final on Sunday), but only the main/NBCSN game is at all relevant.  Reeling Chelsea travel to desperate-as-fuck Bournemouth, in what looks like a “must get a result and maybe all three” game for the Cherries.  I would hate to see them go down, and want continued agony for Tory Cunt Frank Lampard.

The 12:30 match is stupid, and rightly consigned to NBCSN.  The Shite getting their bollocks licked away to Norwich…is nobody’s idea of a spotlight dance.  I am rapidly giving up on humanity at this point.

Naturally, the two best matchups of the weekend…are both at 9:00 on Sunday.  NBCSN picked United away to Hippo’s Toffees, and this should be a really good, wide-open matchup.  If Everton want to remain in the European fight, they need this win.  Period, end of.  Handsome fucker Andre Gomes should get his first post-horrific injury start, in front of the home fans.  I will be verklempt.

NBC Gold has Wolves at Spurs, not without its own European qualification intrigue.  Don’t look now, but Mourinho might be blowing up the dressing room and wearing out his welcome MUCH earlier than even I expected.  What a fuckstain that guy is, amazing some believed he could be an “upgrade” on Pochettino.  Wolves have proven that Europa League does not have to be a poison chalice, and continue to flex their Portu-muscles on the continent and domestically.

One needs ESPN+ for the Caribou Cup final (11:30 Sunday, I have a weird feeling that Villa could give City at least a test), but it’s worth it for the Lesser Footy and/or #HAILGAMBLOR enthusiast.  Especially with Bundesliga coming on board next season.

There’s some La Liga match going on this Sunday, but I will leave more knowledgeable folk to discuss.

/ Balls sees the Balls signal

Good morning everyone!  It’s your friendly neighborhood Balls here to talk to you about the most exciting match of the entire weekend.  It’s time for El Clásico!

This time, Barcelona will be visiting Madrid and the game will be held at the Bernabeu.  Unfortunately, the game is on Sunday, so we’ll have to wait another 24 hours to enjoy and discuss.

Sorry in advance to Yeah Right for the fútbol-loving DFOers polluting your Sunday Gravy post with El Clásico talk.

Up until last weekend, Real Madrid were leading the league and were looking at El Clásico  as a golden opportunity to lock the league away.  That opportunity disappeared, however, when Barcelona won and Real lost. Instead of being one point ahead with the opportunity to make it four, Real is now two points behind with the possibility of being five points behind should they lose on Sunday.

To top it off, Real Madrid lost midweek at home to Manchester City in the Champions League after leading 1-0, so their confidence going into this game will not exactly be sky-high.  A loss to Barcelona and a possible elimination in the Champions League at Manchester later this month could make things VERY uncomfortable in Madrid.  Remember that Real is already out of the Copa Del Rey.  If things don’t go Real’s way, they could exit March with no chance at any trophies at all this season.

As enticing as this scenario is for Barcelona fans, it is important to note that Real tends to play best when their backs are up against the wall.  We may not be there yet, but we’re definitely wall-adjacent.

The Barcelona fan in me wants a 5-0 goleada.  That ain’t gonna happen.  The way I realistically see it, we may end up getting a 1-1 tie or maybe the ole TWBS.

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And now, The Larch: