Or, your “Day One Of Three!” Canadian Holiday Long Weekend Open Thread.

It’s the Victoria Day weekend up here in America’s hat,

which marks the unofficial start of summer, despite whatever apocalypse is going on outside.

As I cut & paste every year since 2016, (holy shit – I’ve been here that long?!) Victoria Day, under Canadian law, is the date reserved in law for the anniversary of the birth of the monarch. A national commemoration dating from the time of Queen Victoria, an amendment to the Statutes of Canada in 1952 established the celebration of Victoria Day on the Monday preceding May 25. It was renamed Journée nationale des patriotes in Quebec in 2002, commemorating the struggle of Louis-David Papineau and his patriotes to establish “Responsible Government” in Lower Canada.

This, although it is celebrated across the country in statutory holiday form, it is known by different terms across the Home & Native Land,

but it is generally considered a heritage day. There are always accompanying protests from aboriginal people (fair) and their self-righteous associates (idiots) about what might have been had the white man not come across the pond. It’s an unfair question to ask, not least because the white people asking it wouldn’t be here asking it if they hadn’t.

But, until someone invents a time machine, I’mma just continue about my day.


Tonight’s … entertainment?:

  • UFC Fight Night: Overeem vs. Harris | ESPN / TSN
    • 6:00PM – Prelims
    • 9:00PM – Main card
  • Graduate Together: America Honors the High School Class of 2020 – 8:00PM | ABC, NBC, CBS, FOX
    • Celebrities, including Barack Obama, celebrate the graduating high-school class of 2020 during this time of social distancing.
      • Powered by XQ, in partnership with The LeBron James Family Foundation and The Entertainment Industry Foundation.

It’s a pretty thin night, so hopefully Moose has some nice gifs & Scotchy has tales of where some bodies totally didn’t end up. And forgive the slurred type from the rest of the Canadians – we’re celebrating!

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Beerguyrob
A Canadian man-child of indeterminate age, he stays young by selling alcohol at sporting events and yelling at the patrons he serves. Their rage nourishes his soul, and their tips pay for his numerous trips to various sporting events.
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BC Dick

Here’s to getting fucked up and doing fucked up shit. If you can.
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Wkvd7pbfM78

BrettFavresColonoscopy

Alright, what whisky should I cap off world whiskey day with?

Unsurprised

Whatever’s closest to home.

BrettFavresColonoscopy

I almost cracked open the bottle of Lost Spirits whiskey from right here in LA, which would have been closest to home. But went with the Ardbeg Uigedail instead.

BC Dick

I love that stuff. It’s like drinking delicious dirt. Or peat or whatever. Good choice.

Brick Meathook

the one in front of you

BC Dick

I had to get crown royal because the liquor store delivery was out my brand.
You know what. It still does the fucking job.

BC Dick

The goal of every politician and party is to convince the people that the other guys are demons in dark suits, bent on destroying everything you hold dear.
If one thinks that they are morally better simply by the fact they are on one side or the other, one has not found the truth, they have been converted to a religion.
Once a person disregards policy in favour of partisanship they have surrendered their leverage and become a “decided voter”. A back pocket guarantee for a crude game of numbers.
They are all in it for themselves. They will sell you any story that gets them a vote.

Brick Meathook

No, “politicians” are just cogs in a machine. Trump disrupted the machine, even though he had no idea what to do after he won. All the other cogs are trying to find their place in the “new order.” Read a history book and understand the stable governances of “Pax Britannica” (1815-1914) and then “Pax Americana” from 1945-(present?). Add in the Internet and a world-wide pandemic (not a new thing), and, as the Chinese say, “may you live in interesting times.”

Summation: Barack Obama and Hilary Clinton were battleships in an aircraft carrier war.

BC Dick

They are cogs. It’s always been that way. The parties and countries and faces change but the strategy remains the same.
I’ve read a few books, yeah. You read enough of them and you see it’s always the same. The playing field and the participants and even the rules change. But politics doesn’t change. They will do whatever they can to have power.

Rikki-Tikki-Deadly

I think Obama’s greatest deficiency as a President was that he made it look too easy.

Brick Meathook

He sure did, because he accomplished nothing and got kicked around like a rag doll for eight years, just like Jimmy Carter. Nice guys, but they were no Franklin Roosevelts nor Lyndon Johnsons either.

Brick Meathook

Sometimes the truth hurts. Read a history book instead of being a fanboy and maybe we all won’t have to suffer under another fucking Donald Trump. I blame liberals for Trump, and I’m correct.

BC Dick

Fucking eh right, man. They lost that with their own hubris.

ballsofsteelandfury

I’m going to get minus 1ed, but I think part of the Democrats’ problem is that they think Obama was the greatest President ever. He came on the heels of Bush Jr for fucks sake. Of course he was going to look good!

He was a good President but could and probably should have accomplished more. Mitch McConnell was allowed to thwart his initiatives. That does not a great President make.

Incidentally, if Biden wins, the same thing will happen.

BrettFavresColonoscopy

So we’re blaming Obama for McConnell being evil?

BC Dick

I think we’re blaming liberal voters for turning off so many moderates that they lost to a grotesque caricature of American excess. And they still don’t fucking get it.

BC Dick

Not liberal voters. The democrat party.

Brick Meathook

No, we’re blaming Obama for letting McConnell slap him around.

Brick Meathook

Also, calling McConnell “evil” is childish. His supporters had a different agenda than you. He won. He’s not “evil” he just won.

BrettFavresColonoscopy

It’s not childish to call a spade a spade. The man is Lord Acton’s axiom personified. The modern Republican party has left policy and principle far behind in the rear view mirror on the path to power-centric nihilism. Facts don’t matter if all you care about is winning at all costs. Cog bullshit aside, there is a fundamental difference between the two parties, and this isn’t about me being sore the other guys won. Ultimately, while Republicans are better at politics, they don’t give a flying fuck about the people that vote for them and are happy fomenting racism and conspiracy theories at great cost to the country, and Democrats, though extremely frustrating are at least trying to do something that makes a difference. As naive as that sounds, it has the virtue of being true.

BC Dick

That’s what I see as the problem. You’ve got them pegged as morally superior. As if they’re not doing anything they can to win.
For example, a right wing party proposes a reduction of immigration levels because of low employment among folks with little education. A sensible policy change. The left wing party calls them racists. And that charge carries the narrative. But it’s their tactic to paint the other guys as racists. That’s what they’ll do to get elected.
Is unlimited immigration, no requirements good? No, I think people would say mostly. So a certain level is good. There is no right or wrong amount. It’s a policy difference but left wing parties use that to tar the other as evil. Do you believe that?
The right wing parties do the same. A left wing party proposes a reasonable policy for reducing criminal penalties for non violent drug crimes. The right wing party paints them as soft on criminals. Like they’ll be opening up the doors so every murderer can walk free. Do you just eat up the worst examples they serve up?
I don’t think either of them care about “the people”. They are ruthless career driven people at that level. Trust those swine at your own risk.

BrettFavresColonoscopy

Believe me, I don’t have them pegged as morally superior. I spent a decade in Washington, and the fact is that Republican hypocrisy blows normal politics out of the water.

Brick Meathook

BFC, I grew up in Washington and spent three decades there, starting my career in television doing political spots and roaming the halls of Congress. I know how the sausages are made.

And I agree with you on the issues! But you will never have a political voice if you don’t get elected, and you’ll never get elected if you keep giving it away. Of course, I mean “you” in the rhetorical sense.

If you go to war, fight to win. Don’t be the Japanese.

BrettFavresColonoscopy

Totally agree that we have to win to govern. I’m also sick of “all politicians are the same” when over here we’ve got someone saying “let’s do something on climate/health care/income inequality/mass incarceration” and over there you’ve got someone saying “liberalism is a mental disorder and by the way wearing a mask is for pussies and Democrats keep children locked in the basement of a pizzeria for sex”. Yeah, same thing.

BC Dick

I was thinking if when he drew his Red line for Iran and when they walked over it he didn’t back up his talk.

BC Dick

Yeah he did. You don’t mark a line in the sand and then let the other Guy walk all over it.

Brick Meathook

comment image

Horatio Cornblower

Enjoy your silly little holiday you fuckin’ canucks!

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=7Dw_aj68Gqg

BrettFavresColonoscopy

PEOPLE–

Mike McCaskey died. This could be the Bears’ year!

Horatio Cornblower

Virginia would like a word, and that word is ‘Trubisky’

Rikki-Tikki-Deadly

Trent Green would like a word and that word is “polyester retired campfire”.

Senor Weaselo

Emmett Smiff would like a word, and that word is “trebuchet.”

BrettFavresColonoscopy

BIG DICK NICK

BrettFavresColonoscopy

Also I don’t think there’s going to be a real season

ballsofsteelandfury
SonOfSpam

Ian Curtis: “Hey. wanna hang?”

ballsofsteelandfury

????

Mr. Ayo

Looks like Crimebeat needs to return this week.

Spur

The first 15 minutes of Blade 2 is a masterpiece. Guillermo del Toro is the man.

Horatio Cornblower

And then they made Blade 3…

theeWeeBabySeamus

Rest In Peace you magnificent bastard.
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=nN7mUoT0_hY

BC Dick

The dirty theatres in heaven are never raided. Yahweh is cool with that shit.

Spur

Moving Violations! A young Jennifer Tilly is in that.

SonOfSpam

Yes, they were.

BC Dick

To the fine folks all over, happy Victoria Day. May we revel in her splendour and grace.
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=pSDF8VvU13M

Spur

Bloodsport is on Vice

Mr. Ayo

And ESPN!

Spur
SonOfSpam

Was Phyllis George the original Matriarch?

RIP, you trailblazing token.

ballsofsteelandfury

Either her or Jane Kennedy
comment image

SonOfSpam

Good pull. Which is what this pic makes me wanna do.

Downfield Matriculator

That’s JaYne Kennedy — the Y is for “Yer goddamn right I would”

Spur

I really missed Obama speeches

BC Dick

Yeah. He was damn good. Inspires confidence when a leader can give a good speech.

BC Dick

I miss Bill, too. Coolest president ever, I think without question. At least the ones I know of. Maybe Calvin Coolidge was too.

Viva La Tabula Raza

As I understand it, Coolidge was a Republican dick.

SonOfSpam

“Silent Cal” was suckin business’ dick before Reagan was even thinking about being senile.

BC Dick

They all gobble that up. It’s just different businesses

Spur
Spur
Spur

A Malala vs Trump Debate would be heaven.

SonOfSpam

“You are a NASTY cyclops.”

Spur

“Currygate”

SonOfSpam

Humanity is as much blessed by her presence as it is cursed by his.

Unsurprised

She’s been cancelled by the media on account of becoming a socialist.

Spur

Watching the Graduate Together show. I’m old. I have no idea who half these people are

herodotus450

Well most of them only just turned 18, so it’d be a little suspicious if you did.

Spur

Evening Folks

LemonJello

Men, OH MEN! (and Ladies, of course) it has been a shit-storm of Sharknado proportions at House LemonJello these last few days. We have our new Fortress LemonJello and have been hard at work painting and replacing shitty carpet with wood laminate. Moving boxes of our worldly possessions, getting the all important Interwebz access lined up to allow for uninterrupted DFO has been completed. Beer and bourbon supplies running low. Send help.

Viva La Tabula Raza

Sorry, but you’re on your own.
—President Trump

Rikki-Tikki-Deadly

Normally, I’d +1 this, but it’s IMPOTUS, so I had to go with the minus.

Viva La Tabula Raza

I’m sure I will survive any slings and arrows that may come my way

BC Dick

That’s a weird saying, eh? They don’t throw the sling at you, right?

Viva La Tabula Raza

Fuck, I don’t know. Ask Bill Shakespeare.

BC Dick

I assume the IM stands for Imbecilic Motherfucking

herodotus450

The hot Israeli girl from Weeds apparently, recently, broke up with Albert Pacino, because he wasn’t spending enough money on her.

BC Dick

Do they call it Victoria Day in Vancouver and on the island? We call it May Long in the Okanagan.

BC Dick

Makes sense. May 2-4 is high school, may long is some college, Victoria Day for degree holders.

rockingdog

Found a funny:

the riddler: how did you catch me??

batman: the riddle explaining how to catch you

mrs. the riddler: i told u steven

ballsofsteelandfury
rockingdog

80’s Jamin

BrettFavresColonoscopy

Also, it’s World Whiskey Day, can we just celebrate that?

Viva La Tabula Raza

I went over to a friend’s house today and drank some of his homemade whiskey. It’s very good. And I didn’t even know it was World Whiskey Day! Of course, every day since I had my foot surgery in December has been Whiskey Day…

Game Time Decision

Does Canadian whisky count?

BC Dick

Damn right it does. Ask Don Draper and Jim Lahey.

BC Dick

One of the very rare times Canadians use fewer letters in a word. I can’t think of any others.

BrettFavresColonoscopy

For 85 cents on the dollar

BrettFavresColonoscopy

Victoria Day? Is that a secret?

Viva La Tabula Raza
Gumbygirl

So how does one offer felicitations on this glorious holiday? Happy Victoria Day? Merry Victoria Day? Oh shit, Vicky just squirted out another pup, fetch the bucket Day? Hmmm……
Tonight on Svengoolie: The Deadly Mantis.

Viva La Tabula Raza

Well, given that Victoria was House of Hanover, I think the proper greeting would be “Alles Gute zum Geburtstag.”

BC Dick

“To the great glory of the empire!”
But No one really offers any greeting. It’s just an excuse to get loaded in the sun.

herodotus450

And forgive the slurred type from the rest of the Canadians

Well we do every other day, boom roasted

ballsofsteelandfury

So do any Canadian girls named Victoria request for their boyfriends/ husbands/ significant others to kiss their ass every May?

BC Dick

They should. I wouldn’t be waiting a year in between, no matter her name.