Eventual Balls Thoughts XX

Inspired by Sharkbait’s Friday drinking posts, I got myself a bottle of gin and started experimenting with some gin cocktails. The first one I made, as is tradition, was the Gin and Tonic.

First impression: Gin is a very refreshing liquor!

I was honestly not expecting that. I should point out, however, that I bought a bottle of Hendrick’s, which I know is a very particular and special type of gin

Second impression: I do not like Tonic Water.

I used Q Tonic, which I guess is not top of the line, but I’ve heard good things. I don’t know if it was the quinine or what, but it was VERY bitter. If I wanted something that bitter, I’d give my ex a call.

My next adventure into gin drinks had to be, as is Southern California tradition, a Gin and Juice. Made famous, of course, by Snoop. Obligatory:

The uncensored version is best, but this video is hilarious.

As for the drink: OH THAT’S THE STUFF!

No wonder Snoop sang about it! Granted, I have a sweet tooth, so this is right up my alley. It’s a perfect combination that, depending on your ratio, can get you fucked up QUICK. I feel like fucking a ho right about now…

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The Week in DFO

Here are the things I read in DFO this week that reminded me how much I love this site:

Y’all can take away my 17 year-old stripper girlfriend’s pole when you tear it away from her K-Y Jellied hands!

Scotchnaut

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The following people are going to be in VERY big trouble for RSVP’ing and then not showing up.

Lennay Kekua

Lennay Kekuua

Lennai Kekua

Lenay Kekua

etc.

RTD

I RSVP’d as Dixie Normous and got a personal message from the Veep.

SonOfSpam

I RSVP’d as Hugh G. Rection and got a tax break.

Brick

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I don’t know what’s going to explode first, me or that stupid fucking car when it runs over a rabbit.

Horatio

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I am starting a new movement called Black Lives Make Batter for all non-PoCs who have been made horny by black women and men (thinking of you Zymm).

Buddy Cole’s Halftime Show

I’m pretty sure that’s already a Pornhub Category…

Balls

Well then time for my backup, fecund the police

Buddy Cole’s Halftime Show

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I got the clap just looking at that

Brick

You already had it.

Moose

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I could do that.

Mr. Ayo

Whatcha doin’ later?

Moose

At the current rate, apparently you.

Mr. Ayo

If you are in that posture, I’ll be quick.

Moose

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I could do that.

Mr. Ayo

As could I, I mean how hard is it to take a beating like that?

ArmedandHammered

Yeah, but can you do it without getting an erection?

Balls

Easily, as long as I don’t take one of my pills I don’t have to worry about it.

ArmedandHammered

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I can’t bring myself to watch those Friendly marble matches. The marbles just don’t try as hard when there’s nothing at stake.

Dunstan

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Hulk Hogan fucked Bubba the Love Sponge’s wife and the audio was made public.

This concludes “Things I Know About Pro Wrestling”

SonOfSpam

And he won $130 million from Gawker, thanks to right-wing businessman Peter Thiel, who didn’t like their coverage of his social life. So he bankrolled Hogan’s case simply to bust up the site.

This has been “Beerguyrob fills in your gaps”.

Beerguyrob

Is that the name of your amateur porno tape?

Balls

Beerguyrob Fills In Your Gapes

Moose

Nothing amateur about it.

Beerguyrob

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I really hope that’s his mom.

Viva La Tabula Raza

Hey, if not, she’s paying for his trip, so

SonOfSpam

I really hope it’s on Pornhub damn soon.

Moose

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Getting a huge kick out of the English thinking that a “sweltering” evening is 81 degrees.

Horatio

Pfft, that’s nothing. Here in Dublin we get to shelter in place at full moons so we don’t get burnt to a crisp 

bk109

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Found a funny:

50% of Roger Federer‘s name is “er”

rockindog

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This could really up one’s tittyfucking game*

*I am currently 0-3

SonOfSpam

But you show promise and are great in the locker room.

litre_cola

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In bed

Game Time Decision

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Kaylin is an excellent studio analyst, beyond the pervosaur factoUr.

King Hippo

Nothing’s beyond the pervosaur factor, damn it!

bk109

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found a funny:

me: it doesn’t have a tail so i’m pretty sure it’s a hamster

tech support: okay fine right-click the hamster

rockindog

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Shouldn’t this hold 3 tacos to be called a tricerataco?

ArmedandHammered

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I’ll have a Pre-Modern burrito, extra trilobites.

Don T

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Ok, time to pick a movie for tonight. First four up in the queue are:

(1) Cromwell (1970)

(2) Urban Cowboy

(3) The Natural (have seen before, find a little cheesy but it is sports)

(4) Knives Out (saw in the theatre back when people did such things)

I admit that’s a weird set of options.

Dunstan

Dunno 1, 2 is stupid, 3 is good, 4 is great

I’d pick 5.

SonOfSpam

5- Vacation with Step-Mom

Balls

In a certain kind of film, step-moms seem to be attractive and horny.

I’ve generally only seen 3-4 minutes of those films, so I don’t know how they end.

Be kind, rewind.

SonOfSpam

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Here’s this week’s Balls’ Choice from Request Line:

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=8QAEmCuBnck

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Thank you to everyone one for providing quality laughs and gifs/pics to look at. Have a great week!