Here, let’s relive it again, in video:

and gif form:

Oh, that’s the pure stuff. JUST PUT IT INTO MY VEINS!!! Kris Jenkins is a stone cold killer – never mind the shot, the pose of him watching it go in is magnificent. It’s a murderer watching a victim die and savouring their pain, and ensures he’ll never have to buy a beer in Philly again. Like most murderers.

Now we get to watch UNC go on athletic probation, without the satisfaction of the national title to warm those cold January evenings. It’ll be third Christmas for people like King Hippo.

FACTY FACTOIDS THAT MAY ONLY INTEREST NO ONE: According to ESPN, only 2.56% of all brackets had Villanova winning it all. According to Skip Bayless, there should have been co-national champions. According to me, that’s why I stay off ESPN’s website.

The women’s final game is tonight. UConn goes for a four-peat tonight against Syracuse. This contest won’t be able to catch that lightning-in-a-bottle like last night’s men’s championship game, because the seeming inevitability of the Huskies achieving the superfecta takes the wind out of the sails of anticipation. Although it would be kinda nice knowing that the Syracuse ladies succeeded where Jim Boeheim didn’t.

Actual Football News:

So Twitter is going to livestream games. Jeez – Deion is barely intelligible now; just imagine him trying to follow along with tweets every play. It’ll read like the last words a Cosby victim hears before the drugs take effect.

Aldon Smith has signed a two-year deal with the Raiders. So, I’m setting the over/under at 10 games played total over those two years.

Denver is considering either Dak Prescott or Paxton Lynch as a QB selection in the draft. One key factor will be whether the whiteness of their name will appeal to the Director of Football Operations – one hoof for yes; two hooves for no. Also important: how might Mark Sanchez ruin them?

In the “for fuck’s sake!” department, Rog is considering expanding the playoffs again, with two more wildcard teams to play the second-highest finishers, leaving only the Conference champions with a bye. Purists will argue tradition; owners will accept the buckets of money.

Politics: Speaking of entitled millionaires, there’s a primary tonight in Wisconsin. It matters because, after the Colorado one this weekend, there isn’t another until New York on April 19th. Cruz & Sanders are favored to win; the betting’s on how big the margin, and what ridiculous thing Trump will say after losing.

TV: I know it’s been touched upon, but how maddening was “The Walking Dead” finale? It’s guaranteed a hate-watch audience when it returns in October. But, it’s also guaranteed that a lot of people will switch right back to the “Sunday Night Football” broadcast once they find out who was killed. (psst – it was Glenn) But Jeffrey Dean Morgan – he was born to be Negan.

Speaking of baseball bats, THE GAMES!

NHL: (11 games total)

• Islanders @ Capitals – 7:00
• Carolina @ Boston – 7:00
• Lightning @ Rangers – 7:30
• Sharks @ Wild – 8:00

NBA: (11 games total)

• Hornets @ Raptors – 7:30
• Bulls @ Grizzlies – 8:00
• Spurs @ Jazz – 9:00
• T-Wolves @ Warriors – 10:30

NCAA: Women’s Final – Syracuse vs UConn – 8:30

Baseball: I’m sure the Jays are on in Canada.

I wonder if anyone last night played as high as Gary McLain in 1985. WHO YA GOT?!