Not Stuck, Just Tightly Comfortable – Monday Open Thread

I must have been in a morose daze these last coupla weeks because I failed to realize that the pandemic ended.

The NFL dropped all Covid protocols, and mask mandates are on the outs seemingly everywhere (source: seemingly, K?). Here in Puerto Rico, where we’ve had strict measures since 03/20, it will be no masks starting this Thursday.

I can only say, sigh: dammit. Thus ends the Golden Age of ghosting folks in public; everyone masked is an ironclad “I didn’t recognize you”! I’m especially unlucky because all my acquaintances had grown out of their weird hairstyle phase by 2009.

But why emphasize the negatives. Failing to look at a positive thing about anything could be the cause of a funk, not a symptom. So OK. Here goes: I will not complain about there being less restrictions. In fact, less restrictions align perfectly with me being fucking over any concern about the damn Covid.

I wash my hands adequately, got vaccinated, boostered, and will wear a mask if I wanna. If there is a superspreader event with a rocking band, I will bring an extra bottle of hand sanitizer filled with weed. I can be surrounded with coughers at any theater, and I will only fret about not hearing the damn dialogue. May even start a “Fauci Lyin’ *clap clap clapclapclap*” chant to liven my expulsion and ban.

And if there is a 4^th booster or another vaccine, maybe I’ll reject it. Perhaps only out of the joy that comes with being a pigheaded, and therefore free, adult. And hey, if that pisses some people off,

NFL ITEMS

There’s some!

-Tomorrow is the deadline for teams to name Franchise or Transition players. To avoid state oversight, the Cowboys and Texans denied having transitioning players. For the truth, we’ll have to wait for the first depth chart.

-Franchise tagged to date:

1. Browns – TE David Njoku
2. Bengals – S Jessie Bates III
3. – 32.

-Next on the NFL Calendar:

• “A source close to” Q-Aron speculations – Ends March 13
• Legal tampering – Begins March 14
• Free agency – Begins March 16
• FA cauldron bottom-scraping – Begins March 17
• Tommy Bahama Garish Attire Sale – Ends March 26
• Head coaches group pic – March 27
• League Meetings – March 27-30
• Deadline for media to submit Mock Draft 23.0 – April 28
• NFL Draft – April 28-30
• Mel Kiper Ubiquity – Ends May 1^st

-Per Schefter, Jets owner Woody Johnson is interested in buying Chelsea F.C. Hot take comin’ thru: Dan Snyder is the only good fit for Chelsea.

-Falcons WR Calvin Ridley got suspended for one year for gambling in NFL games. During the time he took medical leave for mental health,

Ridley placed multilegged parlay bets involving three, five and eight games that included the Falcons to win via his mobile device out of state

 Via tweet, Ridley said he bet $1,500 total, denied he had a gambling problem, and

I know I was wrong But I’m getting 1 year lol

— CALVIN RIDLEY (@CalvinRidley1) March 7, 2022

The article names no snitches, but the gambling company totally narCed on Ridley. For the full grandstanding by The Commish, please do not click to link from this page. It’s better if you make a handwritten copy of the link, open a window, light the paper on fire, and watch the ashes flutter away. Now you have self-respect.

Amén.

SPROTS TONITE

All times Central, listings per espen:

NBA

Bulls @ Sixers – 6 PM

Rockets @ Heat – 6:30 PM

Jazz @ Mavericks – 7:30 PM

Lakers @ Spurs – 7:30 PM

Warriors @ Nuggets – 8 PM

PRE-MADNESS EXHIBITIONS

South Dakota @ South Dakota State – 6 PM

Wright State @ Cleveland State – 6 PM

Louisiana @ Georgia State – 6 PM

Furman @ Chattanooga – 6 PM

Charleston @ UNC Wilmington – 7:30 PM

San Francisco @ 1 Gonzaga – 8 PM

Oral Roberts @ North Dakota State – 8:30 PM

Northern Kentucky @ Pursue Ft. Wayne – 8:30 PM

Santa Clara @ 17 Saint Mary’s Gaels – 10:30 PM

NCAA WOMENS’ BASKETBALL

Villanova @ 6 U Conn – 7:00 PM

NHL

NHL NEWS! A reimagined Stanley Cup logo came out today. Best trophy in sports for many reasons, including its intended use:

Tonite:

Kings @ Bruins – 6 PM

Panthers @ Sabres – 6 PM

Leafs @ Jackets – – 6 PM

Avalanche @ islanders – 6:30 PM

Oilers @ Flames – 8:30 PM

FÚTBOL

Tonight in Las Américas.

Argentina Primera Nacional (2nd Tier)

Dear learner of Spanish: Don’t be discouraged. “Primera” does mean “First”, except in the arbitrary realm known as fútbol argentino.

Ferro Carril Oeste v. Independiente – 6:10 PM on the dot! (6:25ish DFO time)

Costa Rica Primera División

Pérez Zeledon v. Jicaral – 8 PM

Colombia Primera A

Cortuluá v. Deportes Tolima – 6:40 PM

Perú Liga 1

Deportivo Binacional v. ADT – 6 PM

Ecuador LigaPro

Deportivo Cuenca v. Gualaceo – 6 PM

Finally, as much as I like the banner doggo, we strive for inclusiveness here at DFO. Cat people, we gots you:

Yeah I’ve been hitting the Simpsons lately. Highly recommended, any time.