Schedule Release Open Thread

As a believer (at least 9 days out of 10), this article – while 100% unsurprising – hurts me to the core.  But Jesus weeps with me, I am certain.

Spurs got a soft penalty, then ran train on Handsome Mikel and crew.  The 4th Shempions ducat will go to Matchday 38 now.

I gots nothin’ else.  I hear tell of iced sportsball, which just sounds cray cray.

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King Hippo
Reclusive, vulgar Broncos fan. Also a proud fookin' Evertonian. Likely dropped on my head repeatedly as a small child. [Insert George Carlin quote followed by thoughtful nod.]
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2Pack

Did the site go down for a bit, or was it just my connection? Russian bots?

ballsofsteelandfury

It did

Horatio Cornblower

Kind of like a relationship. Goes down for a bit, then the connection is lost.

SonOfSpam

Every time I watch Top Chef, the competition is amazing, the local flavor is interesting, and it all leads me to exclaim in wonderment, “Damn, Salman Rushdie was plowing THAT.”

Gumbygirl

Not even slightly gay, but I’d probably make an exception for Padma.

Gumbygirl

Speaking of Top Chef

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BrettFavresColonoscopy

Hippo, I read that whole depressing and accurate Atlantic piece and can’t come to any conclusion other than this country is irrevocably fucked

Rikki-Tikki-Deadly

Reading it reminded me why I think it’s pretty fucking awesome each time one of these COVID deniers dies of the virus.

Mr. Ayo

The Leafs are Leafing.

Dunstan

Oh, the Leafs fans will be shitting bricks now….

Rikki-Tikki-Deadly

ANDY REID: [loads bullets into a magazine]

ANDY REID: [loads magazine into an assault rifle]

ANDY REID: [slips hunting knife into a belt holster]

ANDY REID: [ties bandana around forehead]

ANDY REID: “This war ends now.”

https://www.businessinsider.com/cooking-oil-shortage-ukraine-war-us-uk-indonesia-germany-netherlands-india-2022-5

Dunstan

Joe Biden must tap into the Strategic Lard Reserve.

Also known as “Andy Reid’s arteries.”

WCS

The Dirt Bungles have eight total wins this season. The Dirt Stillers account for three of them.

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Gumbygirl

Not for long, I’m sure.

Sharkbait

Hippo we gotta get you to a hockey game.

Brick Meathook
WCS

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litre_cola

Just like the Houston 500.

Redshirt

Super Bowl Rematch is Preseason Week 3 in Cincinnati.

How nice of the Schedule Gods to remind the Bengals and their fans of our Nationally Televised Dishonor in a game that doesn’t count.

Last edited 2 years ago by Redshirt
WCS

Mike Brown will charge triple for that.

LemonJello

/furiously scribbling notes
-D. Snyder

Redshirt

I’m four seconds in and I’m instantly sold. I’m afraid to continue watching for fear I’ll forgive them for leaving San Diego.

litre_cola

That is how I felt after.

LemonJello

Femur drums rumble in the distance, with wailing guitar solos shredding the air

Redshirt

Bring it on, bitch! I’m an Ohioan. We don’t fear death; we welcome it!!!

Rikki-Tikki-Deadly

“The afterlife certainly can’t be worse than this!” – Ohio residents, looking around

litre_cola

The Jaguar one with “Urban” is so, so good.

Mr. Ayo

The 28-3 ATL reference also.

litre_cola

Watched it now a couple times. The Ab discarded helmets crack. Chefs kiss.

Rikki-Tikki-Deadly

It really is good.

rockingdog

Hahaha
Yea that’s pretty Rocking!

SonOfSpam

Dammit, that was great. May have to elevate the Chargers to “2nd best Inglewood team” (ahead of Inglewood High).

The Jaguar chick in the bar gave me strange feelings.

ballsofsteelandfury

Ok, that was pretty fucking great. Kudos to the Chargers marketing team.

Sharkbait

Holy shit that was awesome

litre_cola

They will flex Detroit Philly to the Sunday nighter right? Right???

/puts it in London on Sunday morning.

Redshirt

I’m just waiting for a game so bad, it gets flexed to an impossible time slot. Like Tuesday at 3:21. In the morning.

LemonJello

DUUUUVAAAAAALLLLLL tweakers/fans would watch the ever-luvvinn shit out of that time slot.

Redshirt

https://mobile.twitter.com/Bengals/status/1524902248941342727?cxt=HHwWjsC-lYShxakqAAAA

I feel like Homer when he saw his Mr. Plow commercial.

“Is that the Bengals 2022 Schedule Release?”
“I don’t know.”

https://m.youtube.com/watch?v=gArU-BAO7Kw

Last edited 2 years ago by Redshirt
ballsofsteelandfury

What I want to know is the Manningcast schedule.

Redshirt

This may be the first Bengals games ever where I purposely don’t mute the TV and turn on the radio.

Rikki-Tikki-Deadly

For the first time ever, Eli Manning has expressed interest in going to an establishment that serves adult beverages.

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WCS

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LemonJello

Olivia shakes her head and pulls the rubber mattress protector out of the linen closet for the bunk beds in Eli’s room.

Redshirt

Twist in plot: Adult Beverages for Eli are Chocolate Whole Milk instead of Chocolate Skim Milk.

Last edited 2 years ago by Redshirt
litre_cola

Is that during the World Cup?

Redshirt

Don’t tempt him. You know he’s charmed Jesus and God enough to come back as a ghost to haunt us. Zombie mode optional.

Redshirt

My parents were Youth Pastors, and one day my dad told me that he believes when a pastor/priest/religious leader dies, before they are told whether they are going to Heaven or Hell, they are shown the souls of those who were led astray from The Lord due to their actions or inactions as their spiritual leader.

Every time I hear about a priest going political, I think about that story.