Your Wednesday Night Faulty Craftsman Blames His Tools Open Thread

I went surfing today.  I’ve got three boards in my quiver.  One’s an old longboard that I bought off a friend many years back that has barely been out of a garage more than twenty times in its life.  The second is a 6’3″ Spider I bought in South Africa.  The third – the board I used today – is a decrepit 6’10” Kyrlach board I bought used in San Diego almost 25 years ago.  Look up “Kyrlach surfboards” on Google.  You won’t find much.  A brand new surfboard is white.  As they grow older and sunlight breaks the fiberglass down more and more, they turn yellow. This board is the color of Marge Schott’s teeth.

It’s been repaired so many times that I keep waiting for it to snap of its own volition so I can give it a proper burial.  No, not at sea, there’s enough trash floating around in the water already.  But at this point I’m not sure that’s going to happen.  I think the board is taking on water.  I really hate to blame my poor performance at any sports-type activity on my equipment.  I’ve long resolved that until I’m absolutely sure that my club is the reason that I finished yet another par three hole in six strokes, I won’t get new ones.  The same goes for my surfboards.  But today I may have finally reached the point where I can say that the board is the problem, not me.

The last few times I took this board out I had a lousy experience – originally I thought that it was because I was out of practice.  But once I felt like I got the kinks out I started taking my Spider board out instead, and I’ve had a blast.  But today, I was thinking that I’d need a little more board to deal with the 4′-6′ waves that Surfline.com was forecasting and I selected the longer Kyrlach and headed to Gillis, which is the break you see in the banner image.  And I caught nothing.  Literally not a single wave.  And it wasn’t a matter of being too much of a coward to take a few sets on the head – okay, maybe a little bit was due to that, but there were more people in the water than I’m used to, plus it was really bright, and I was more tired that usual because…but NO.  I’m finally going to pin the blame on the board. Because I sucked today, and maybe just once in a while it’s good for my mental health to deflect the blame somewhere else.

I may head out tomorrow to right today’s wrongs.  It’ll be a little smaller, and I’ll bring the Spider.  And if I have some luck, perhaps it will be time to retire the Kyrlach for good.  It’s served me well.  I’d have preferred for it to go down swinging, but sometimes that’s not in the cards.

Anyhow, it’s time for an open thread.  Have at it, remember to put on sunblock, and don’t drown.