Oh, also the Fightin’ Hortioettes, Netball Division, managed to squeak by Northeastern by a mere 59 points.

Men. Oh men.

I have returned home from an epic day of Horatio goes sporting.

As you may recall, I left earlier today to watch the Fightin’ Horatios, Ice Division, (ranked #7 nationally), play local rivals Providence Community College Friars, (ranked #9), live and in person.

Providence gets out to a 3-0 lead. UConn looks like crap, but pulls 1 back at the end of the first on a power play.

During the second period UConn scores two more goals to tie the game at 3.

After scoring the first or second goal the announcer comes on to tell the crowd that the Fightin’ Horatios, Greater Footy Division, have defeated the 19th ranked Liberty Flaming Hypocrites 36-33. They are now an unfathomable 6-5 and bowl eligible for the first time since 2015. Crowd goes bananas.

Providence scores on a breakaway, goes up 4-3.

UConn scores right back, 4-4.

Towards the end of the second period UConn is hit with a major penalty for boarding. Debatable given a previous non-call when Providence did more or less the same thing to a Fightin’, but was not called. Various expletives and questions related to ancestry are hurled towards the referee. The family in front of us, with two young children, left the arena at this point.

Side note, the referee was named Potvin, bring back memories of chanting “Denis Potvin beats his wife, doo-dah, doo-dah” during Whalers-Islanders games. Truly, hockey is a sport for the refined.

Anyhoodles, Providence proceeds to score two goals. 6-4 bad guys.

During the intermission I get enough of an internet connection, (The Hartford XL Center’s wifi lacks sufficiently determined hamsters to be considered reliable), to learn that Arsenal has won 2-0 and now sits top of the Premier tables 5 points clear of Blood Oil Sex Money.

UConn plays the next 17:05 seconds like Carrie, in that they clearly do not understand how periods work and what will happen when the third one ends.

But, with 2:57 left UConn gets a face-off in the Providence end. Down 2 they pull their goalie. Which almost never works, and I fully expect it to be 7-4 within 15 seconds.

And then UConn scores. 6-5.

Face-off at center, teams battle back-and-forth, UConn gets the puck back in the Providence end with a little more than a minute to go. Goalie flies out of the net, 6th attacker is over the boards and on the attack.

Desperation hockey for both sides for the next 20-30 seconds as Providence tries to fling the puck out and UConn successfully keeps it in, but little more than that. Suddenly there is a scrum in front of the net. From where I’m sitting, (standing and screaming incoherently at this point, to be accurate), I can see the net, wide open on the keepers right side. I can also see the puck sliding towards the net on that same side. Considering that it’s a puck, with at least some momentum, skidding on ice, it takes forever to complete its journey but does in fact cross the line, with 4.58 seconds remaining.

The crowd goes insane. So much hugging and high-fiving among strangers that I may be legally married to several men right now.

Overtime, (3-on-3 in Hockey East), produces a number of breakaways and outstanding saves for both teams, but no goals. The game is officially a draw.

But we’re doing a shoot-out for the fans.

I believe we went 7 rounds of skaters, with the keepers 4-2 through 6, before UConn’s keeper made a save and Providence’s didn’t, giving UConn a 7-6 “win” in a game they never led until that last shot.

Then I went to a bar and had Guinness and lamb stew.

I am very tired, but