Your Extraordinarily Ill-Prepared NFL Football Open Thread

Hey folks, I’m hungover and very tired and cranky. Instead of combing through a bunch of team and stat sites and sifting through a bunch of info I’m just going with crap off the top of my head.

To The Games!

Cards/Falcons:

Two teams that very few people care about are having lousy seasons. Atlanta, please draft a qb that can toss a football, it’s embarrassing.

Bears/Lions:

I mentioned a few weeks back that Detroit’s D had improved somewhat but they’ve now regressed back to the mean. There’s still hope for a playoff spot and it would be fantastic if they grabbed it at Qaron’s expense.

Jags/Texans:

A young team learning how to win now has to envision putting their boots on the throat of an obviously inferior team. Let’s see how this goes.

Broncos/Chiefs:

If I’m not mistaken Kansas City under Reid/Mahomes has owned Denver. How do you possibly imagine things being otherwise today?

Fins/Pats:

One of the Canadian channels has a commercial for their NFL offerings for this week that features Tua. Not so fast, dumdum. Of course, why would you have an ad that has Teddy Bridgewater in it?

Colts/Giants:

I’ve not watched a Giants ‘must win’ game in forever but here we are. Everyone on earth (with the exception of Pat McAfee) was right about the Jeff Saturday hiring.

Saints/Eagles:

Hey Philly, win this one going away so that you can rest a shit ton of starters next week vs the Giants. Thanks, appreciated.

Panthers/Bucs:

I heard somewhere that Carolina has the 3rd best run D over the last four weeks so you fantasy guys might want to think twice about playing Fourny or White.

Browns/Commies:

Carson Wentz tries yet again to be relevant. It won’t work out.

Get at it.