The Sloth Continues-Your Second Slate of Games Open Thread

We’ve got a delightful 9/4 split of tilts which is the way it sorta should be in my opinion. Obviously bye weeks make this impossible but I want choices in the later window, damnit!

To The Games!

Niners/Raiders:

This should be an object lesson in what good coaching vs unreliable/inconsistent coaching looks like. Baby Shanny somehow cobbles together a dominant defense and a competent, boring offense every year despite numerous injuries. This year is no different. I wonder what Davante Adams is thinking right now.

Jets/Seahawks:

What to do, what to do. The Mother Lover just can’t seem to read coverages at the NFL level and that’s a super serious flaw. I assume he’s put in the time-there’s not been a mention otherwise that I’ve come across. I don’t think White is the long term answer, I just see him as a stop gap kinda fella. Maybe acquiring that ex-Raiders qb is the answer. He’s very conservative and risk-adjacent in his throws which is something that I think Saleh would like. Hmmm…

Vikes/Packers:

For the sake of my cheering sensibilities I’d like Minny to continue their fraudulent ways. Has a team ever relied on a wide receiver as much as the Vikings have during this run? When I think of dominant wr’s like Rice and Moss and Harrison I see them in a well-balanced offense with significant talent on the other side of the field (Taylor, Carter and Wayne) so that defenses couldn’t focus all their resources on the #1. Theilen isn’t that guy.

Rams/Chargers:

The Chargers just don’t seem like a playoff team to me given how bad their defense is. They should draft nothing but o-line and d-line guys next (this) year. Both Allen and Williams are getting up there and I don’t see Guyton and Palmer as viable replacements.

Do as thou wilt.

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jjfozz

Mrs. Fozz is a hypochondriac, it’s an Italian thing, but she’s coughing like an orderly in a TB ward. Left to go to one of those rapid care places.

I am a terrible nurse. I think once during a pregnancy or maybe it was a stomach virus I yelled, “ICE UP SON!”

It was meant to be funny. She did not agree.

Senor Weaselo

Hey, call me impressed. You’re still alive.

Spur

Purdy is gonna fuck the 49ers in the playoffs.

Spur

boo. My resell value plummets!

Petronel

WOOP

(sorry Rikki)

Last edited 1 year ago by Petronel
Rikki-Tikki-Deadly

That’s okay. I’m just glad to see that the team hasn’t quit on McDaniels.

litre_cola

Looks like Mr. Ayo is going to win the TWBS freezer vodka league. No 2 time defending Spampion.

Mr. Ayo

Minshew Mania and DUUUUUVAL’s defense carried me to victory.

Just like I planned at the beginning of the season.

Doktor Zymm

Congrats!
I’m just pissed my team closed out the season so strongly then shit the bed in the very first playoff game

Senor Weaselo

Hey, at least it was also to Ayo?

SonOfSpam

Yes good job Ayo, enjoy your gently-used TurkLight.

Recovery Whiskey

Geno Smith 3-0 revenge tour complete. Guess we’ll always have that to admire.

Armchair GM: 3 years 45 mil for Geno, do you pay it?

BrettFavresColonoscopy

No, but I’ve been wrong about him before

Redshirt

The one good late game and it’s not in my market.

https://twitter.com/SilverBlakPride/status/1609705981059170305

Gumbygirl

I went off to do some stuff and what happens? Niners/Raiders goes bananacakes AND I have the banner!

facebook_1669516935593_7002461561026570189_423408407017856(1).jpg
Spur

Holy shit. please let the Raiders win, our 2nd batch of tickets are about to go for big money.

litre_cola

Helps both of us too.

Recovery Whiskey

Robbie Fools Gould

Doktor Zymm

EXTRA FOOTED BALLS COURTESY OF SHANKLOR!!!

Petronel

Well, shit

Mr. Ayo

Nailed It!

– B. Walsh

Beerguyrob

Spotted this in the crowd leaving the Seahawks game.

A1ADB652-1AD4-4695-A570-CB9125B65399.jpeg
Recovery Whiskey

Those are becoming popular.

BrettFavresColonoscopy

NGL, I’m not watching football today. Turning yesterday’s meatballs into today’s meatball sub and about to watch Knives Out 2: Billionaire Onion Boogaloo.

yeah right

I gifted the eldest and her family a box of 5 different types of real Wisconsin cheese. Thanks Cheese Brothers.

For some inexplicable reason Eldest and eldest granddaughter can’t tolerate capsaicin – I know! DNA testing to follow – so they left me a slab of mango habanero gouda so I mixed some in along with minced jalapeno into my cornbread mix.

That shit was fantastic. Plus the oven being on made the homestead nice and comfy.

Fabulous start food wise to the new year.
DAMN that was tasty.

Recovery Whiskey

You had me at spicy cheese and cornbread

Doktor Zymm

Awfully ungrateful of Wisconsin to pummel your Vikes after you bought their cheese!

Rikki-Tikki-Deadly

I just had some Tomsula brand gumbo, which consisted of some cajun sausage that had been in the freezer for six months and some brown rice.

Rikki-Tikki-Deadly

Not that I’m particularly heartbroken about it, but it’s a pretty savage insult that the “bonus coverage” provided by CBS is of the blowout in Green Bay and not of the Raiders-49ers.

Petronel

Agreed – game is on FOX, though. (ARGH)

Recovery Whiskey

RedZone’s all in on the Niners Raiders right now. At least for 15 more minutes

Petronel

As is GameDay

Rikki-Tikki-Deadly

Ah, that explains it.

Recovery Whiskey

The Shield values a few meaningless seconds of Qaron more than an actually competitive game

Senor Weaselo

I see the Jason Myers revenge game is goin exactly as expected. Leave it to the Jets to get punched in the jaw when it matters most.

Recovery Whiskey

Seattle tried to get them back into it and they, White mostly, said nope don’t want it.

Rikki-Tikki-Deadly

Let’s not pile on the Jets unnecessarily – from their perspective, it *never* matters.

Senor Weaselo

Once again, death, taxes, Jets. Even my friend messaged me it!

Recovery Whiskey

Not even a box of Twinkies could explain White’s actions today.

Last edited 1 year ago by Recovery Whiskey
Senor Weaselo

I have him on my fantasy team for the 3rd place game in the tWBS Memorial League against Balls since I am sans both Tua and Kyler. There is your explanation.

Petronel

Pack….MAY just have this one. More competitive game plz. Such as…I dunno, NYNURZ vs RAIIDUUUUUUUHHHS, maybe?

…which is on Fox, dammit

Last edited 1 year ago by Petronel
Doktor Zymm

Ok, Grape Japanese gummy candy does nawt pair well with Malbec. I will switch to dark chocolate Bacci

jjfozz

Bloated, fat, hungover, and tired of football.

I feel like Greg Roman.

Guess I’ll go and call a really shitty offensive scheme and ignore the fact that the run game is working and start passing 57 times in a row.

Recovery Whiskey

If you take a stack of grocery bags from the food bank, you can draw up plays on them from your car. – Jim Tomsula

Recovery Whiskey

Shank’lor pays Seattle a visit.

Spur

Stidham just saved McDaniels for 1 more year

Doktor Zymm

And turnovers in important spots is VERY Dingleberry

Doktor Zymm

Vegas is a dangerous place if you’re young and Purdy

Spur

you must ask for half up front. Always

jjfozz

My oldest is going to the Ravens-Steelers game tonight with his buddies. While I have continued to tell my wife there’s nothing to worry about, I’m worrying quietly so as not to show I have feelings.

jjfozz

Middle son comes home last night with his buddy, who was literally grey. He puked in the toilet.

My niece left her car at our house last night, came back with her friends to pick it up. Her friend proceeded to barf on our front lawn.

Then my oldest rolls in, painfully hungover. Talks to me for a few minutes, calmly walks out of the room. And barfs in the sink.

None of these fucking kids can hold their alcohol.

Recovery Whiskey

You must be so proud.

Doktor Zymm

Hey, they made it to appropriate places to vomit, that’s pretty good at that age! Especially considering the swill they were probably drinking

jjfozz

Their problem is that they switch from beer to those fancy seltzer drinks, to Twisted Teas. I’ve told them: liquor to beer, in the clear. Beer to liquor never sicker.

Recovery Whiskey

All whiskey’s good, some whiskey’s better. Took me until age 40 to figure out fizzy sweet shit is whats wrong, not the booze itself. Haven’t had a noteworthy hangover since. Used to need to pray almost every time

litre_cola

His name checks out.

jjfozz

Old Family Guy episodes are proving more interesting than the afternoon games.

litre_cola

I think Raiders 9ers is ok.

Recovery Whiskey

Hox doing a good Flight 93 imitation. Fighting til the end but they’re already doomed.

litre_cola

We ordered a big mess of Vietnamese food for sloth day. Decilitre only wants plain rice and has eaten a tonne of it. Quite odd.

Doktor Zymm

Maybe he is secretly Irani, add some butter to the rice and see if he eats it faster!

litre_cola

Oooh I love Persian cuisine!!!

Doktor Zymm

It is delicious! Not good for you at all, but delicious!

Senor Weaselo

Fun fact: I seem to always get Vietnamese and Thai food reversed. Senorita Weaselo has turned this into an inside joke.

Doktor Zymm

How could you pho-get something like that?

Mr. Ayo

Dueling Nailed Its!

— B. Walsh

Spur

Fucking Vikings. Those White Nationalist took your cool runes because you’re too much of pussies to fight back

Doktor Zymm

Home and Redzone on! Hurrah!

Looks like Minny’s O-line is still hungover from their New Year’s Party

Horatio Cornblower

Just an absolute fraud of a team.

And I say that knowing full well Dallas is going to find a way to trip over their own dicks and fall out of the play-offs in their first game.

litre_cola

Frauds? Didja watch the Iggles today????

Doktor Zymm

They have a couple legit reasons to play less than 100%, although it doesn’t really bode well for the playoffs

Horatio Cornblower

Nope. But the Eagles aren’t the Eagles if Hurts wasn’t playing.

If he was playing, well, that would be bad.

Rikki-Tikki-Deadly

“Derek Who?” – Davante Adams, after that throw

litre_cola

UNplanned naps are the best naps.

Redshirt

The cop who woke me up in the median begs to differ.

Bogdanski

Nailed it!

Redshirt

-Mickey, after catching her in bed with Goofy.

litre_cola

Nah.

Recovery Whiskey

The Shield wants Green Bay

Horatio Cornblower

I thought Green Bay went out when Detroit won today?

Recovery Whiskey

GB controls destiny after Washington loss.

Horatio Cornblower

Man, Carson Wentz just sucks on so many levels.

Redshirt

Somebody needs to lose in the Divisional Round.

jjfozz

Minny was a total whore

WCS

Problems always arise when Cousins force things they shouldn’t.

Petronel

Well, Tawmmy, you’ve won the South with a .500 record (since nobody else seems to have wanted it).

Hope it was all worth it.

Gumbygirl

Eh, families come and go, but getting exposed as a total fraud in the first round of the playoffs is FOREVER!

Petronel

Banner this lady, please!

Redshirt

I’m a Bengals fan, and I concur this message.

Horatio Cornblower

Me: With the new rules you should never bring a kick-off out of the end zone.

Packers: Shut up, nerd.

Recovery Whiskey

Looks like Walker III is fully recovered

Spur
Redshirt

“That’s outrageous! Somebody outta do something!” – All Seven Referees

King Hippo

Is it too soon to say fuck this year? Because fuck this year.

Spur

That new coach smell didn’t last long.

King Hippo

Turns out was just gas. Again.

Redshirt

I said it as soon as Ohio State’s FG attempt noped itself away from the uprights.