TRUE HIPPO STORY! I once dated a gal (post-divorce) who had no interest in sportsball. But Poe was her favoUrite poet, and I thusly got her a nice Ravens fleece for Shitsmas. She guessed it correctly before opening. I suck at giving presents.
Ratbirds (-2) v. Yinzers (8:20, NBC)
Knocking at the playoffs chamber door (but with seeding and a chance to catch Team WKRP in Week 18), one still expects Balmer to be going full steam ahead. But Coach Epps really likes his .500-plus streak, and his charges won’t roll over for a belly rub. This honestly might be the best coaching jerb of his career, not that Western Pennsylvania sports talk radio would concede such.
I think Uncle Jack is clear to quartered back the vistors, and the Ratbirds’ secondary has been reasonable generous (at least by their standards). Really, it’s about Tyler Huntley, and his ability to deliver in the red zone. I don’t think “just don’t fuck up” and kicking FGs will do the deed.
Be here next weekend for the finale, which will be the Surly Duff Division’s time to shine. DUUUUUUVVVVVAAAALLLLL!
Just got home from Seattle, but stopped for some of their finest burgers along the way.
And took some meme-worthy photos.
.
Do they have a special mayonnaise or cream sauce?
Big time.
Dick’s is Dope.
So dope. Four windows open & lines 10-12 deep the whole time, yet I was done in less than ten minutes. I waited longer in a beer line at the stadium today.
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=jNvXoohLEMQ
This short clip is the embodiment of the Stillers this season.
Well that was an ending.
I just woke up to the scores. Had a long and hopping weekend so I had to hit the rack early last night. Some games there folks… Next week should be an odd ending to an odd season. Coffee and a run here on my last vaca day, tomorrow begins a new work year.
I’ve gone down this rabbit hole of Italian beauty pageants and OMG
https://youtu.be/l2HuxRhv7gA
That’s a wonderful place to be. Those are still big here, local level, for festivals, it seems like there’s always the results of one in the paper. I’m thinking of organizing my own, “Miss Cornfield Across the Road from My House”. I’d put up prize money for that.
Took a travel flu and seventeen weeks to do it, but today was the first football Sunday of the season where I was able to sit and watch from the first kickoff this morning until… whatever that was tonight.
It was wonderful. Even with the Bears getting their boots smoked.
I was watching this one offline, but wanted to duck in and say that was one crazy-ass ending. My condolences to all the Fozzes, (mother-in-law excepted), my congratulations to our Yinzer contingent.
Yinzer sprots radio just said the Ratbirds are now 15-2 against rookie quarterbacks. The QBs in those losses:
Truthbisket and Uncle Jack
Oh hell yes!
Ah, the Bengals Super Bowl 12th Man Celebration Rule.
Fuck yeah that was beautiful!
Terrific. I’m gonna go throw up.
I would only have dry heaves after Shan’klor got the Buckeyes yesterday in the Peachy Bowl. Hope your long football weekend ends as well as mine just did.
/who am I kidding, I will be watching bowl games and MNF tomorrow and will check in with you lot
Yeah, that kicker is not sleeping for a week. He may still be on the field in a state of shock.
U2 – Stuck In A Moment You Can’t Get Out Of (US Version) – YouTube
When did a Fair Catch become available on forward passes?
Nevermore.
Wooooooooooooo!
Najee Harris was injected with horse amphetamines at halftime
Come on, Steelers!
Cincinnati Bengals on Twitter: “https://t.co/vRRZZzU5Fa” / Twitter
“Not a lot of high scoring” by the announcers just means “both teams have shitty offenses, so don’t expect much”.
I found myself on Not Always Right website and am reading stories about good things happing to good people and bad things happening to bad people. In Real Life. I’m feeling a feeling I’ve felt before. Like I just drank a warm hot chocolate with marshmallows after making snow-angels with my family.
Is…is this hope? Is this what hope feels like?
https://notalwaysright.com
I can’t wait to see how you feel after tomorrow’s game.
I mean Real Life Hope. Bengals fans don’t experience “hope”. Bengals fans experience “befuddled confusion” followed by “homeostatic disappointment”, though to be fair, we’ve been in the confused state for a while now. Its…for a lack of a better word…confusing.
Then let me tell you a story. An asshole bought a website called Gawker, and all its affiliates. I had been on those sites for over a decade. I had to quit frequenting that establishment, as it went to shit.
One day, while hating myself on Twitter, someone mentioned this place. Maybe it was Rikki. He’s a good guy.
Then I found you guys and my life has been better ever since.
As much as I’d love to take credit, I think I remember having seen you around these parts before I started messing around with the twitter account. However, I do shamelessly self-promote at every opportunity, so it’s possibly you saw one of my other desperate pleas for attention elsewhere.
I think it was you who rescued me from the Deadspin Death Spiral. Or Balls. One of you, for sure! Which is why you two are my Hall of Fame favorites. Don’t tell the others
I enjoyed reading the Waiter Rant blog
He left the restaurant industry many years ago, but the archives are still up.
So neither this game, nor the game tomorrow, has any bearing on my fantasy league championship.
This feels, weird
Update: The guy did not finish his speech but our boss said we can go so I am getting the fuck outta here.
This game is decent, but I have no idea what time zone my body thinks it’s in and I’m excited to sleep in my own bed, so I might go read about Satanic Panic until I fall asleep. Night y’all! I should do better tomorrow
This guy’s been talking for at least a half-hour, using the word “dangerous” liberally, and talking about… the time he got arrested, from the little bit of English he’s used.
DOINK!!
Florida is weird. Everyone is so polite and keeps talking during normal interactions. I just want to hand you my money, and you hand me the things I’m buying. End of interaction
Just wish them a Happy Ramadan, that’ll confuse everyone
Inshallah.
Legit
Could use a najee td here plz.
Having my last Stone “Enjoy By 1/1/23” double IPA because I obey the laws of the land.
Starting on Tuesday, gonna REALLY try to Dry January. Booked a cruise for September and need to lose many many pounds (which I will gain back at the buffet and poolside bars).
Why?
There needs to be less of me for many reasons. but I suppose the main one is that I’d like to live a while longer with all extremities intact.
That’s a good goal, and best of luck. Worth it to get non-crackpot medical support (although crackpot medical support is pretty fun)
/Spam added to Brick Meathook enemies list
no offence of course
It’s easier for me to conceive of you having a time machine and going back to this previous September than it is for me to conceive of planning something nine full months in advance.
*Hides ‘travel 2024’ spreadsheet*
Normally I agree, but there were reasons to plan like this. Reasons, I tell you.
That cocaine isn’t getting through Panamanian customs on wishes and dreams, goddammit.
Please continue with the speeches for we accept paid overtime… while still drinking this same glass of reposado.
Listen, I don’t drink my straight alcohols quickly, plus I’m on the clock and still have to drive back to Brooklyn after this. Bourble would be bad.
I’ve experimentally verified that bourbon and tequila don’t mix
But have your results been replicated by any peers?
Nope. Not gonna do it.
Thor the Walrus had himself a happy new year!
https://twitter.com/i/status/1609494789933637632
Pretty embarrassing for Andy Reid to be doing that in public.
Thor has a big Warhammer.
Ah yes, referee Land Clark, or as I prefer to call him, Neil Patrick Harris.
I was out all day for a New Year all-day brunch thing and WOOOO THEM TEAMS SHOAH WAS FOOTBALLIN’ OUT THEAH TODAY AH TELL YEW HWAT
Just getting caught up now!!
I’m surprised you can stand after last night’s one-man feast!
Listen, I woke up feeling fucking amazing. I might actually be immortal. Or it just might be that I found the best damn gummies ever and it completely negated any hangover ill effects.
If you need more Watts on your team, you can also obtain more Volts and Amps
Ohms would like a word
Beat me to it!
Or Ohms!
Resistance is futile
First is Halas and Lambeau probably? Shula and someone? Levy?
Edit: Halas Lambeau was correct with Halas owning the advantage in nickels being thrown around like manhole covers, 30-16-1. 49 seasons of facing each other.
Why Are Pork And Sauerkraut A New Year’s Tradition? (msn.com)
The only day I eat sauerkraut.
Is it something to do with wishing you don’t get pubic hair stuck in your teeth over the next year?
No, that’s the Jan. 2nd meal.
Please continue to have speeches, whatever this gig is. I can drink this glass of Clase Azul on the rocks.
Grandpa Simpson Onion Story – YouTube
Keep an eye out for Fozzspawn in the crowd shots!
They’ll be the ones committing some sort of chicanery.
Congrats Mr. Ayo on winning the Freezer Vodka TWBS league.
He joins an illustrious list of Big Turk/Vodka survivors with year 1 winner Senor Weaselo and last Year Spam.
/gettin real tired of Spam winning everything.
Pickens can still go off and hand Spam the win.
But thanks!
(thinking to self) “Just close your eyes and pretend its Carl Pickens.”
(through clenched teeth) “Yes, go Pickens.”
We do not need a 2 time Spampion.