Your Extraordinarily Ill-Prepared NFL Football Open Thread

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Hey folks, I’m hungover and very tired and cranky. Instead of combing through a bunch of team and stat sites and sifting through a bunch of info I’m just going with crap off the top of my head.

To The Games!

Cards/Falcons:

Two teams that very few people care about are having lousy seasons. Atlanta, please draft a qb that can toss a football, it’s embarrassing.

Bears/Lions:

I mentioned a few weeks back that Detroit’s D had improved somewhat but they’ve now regressed back to the mean. There’s still hope for a playoff spot and it would be fantastic if they grabbed it at Qaron’s expense.

Jags/Texans:

A young team learning how to win now has to envision putting their boots on the throat of an obviously inferior team. Let’s see how this goes.

Broncos/Chiefs:

If I’m not mistaken Kansas City under Reid/Mahomes has owned Denver. How do you possibly imagine things being otherwise today?

Fins/Pats:

One of the Canadian channels has a commercial for their NFL offerings for this week that features Tua. Not so fast, dumdum. Of course, why would you have an ad that has Teddy Bridgewater in it?

Colts/Giants:

I’ve not watched a Giants ‘must win’ game in forever but here we are. Everyone on earth (with the exception of Pat McAfee) was right about the Jeff Saturday hiring.

Saints/Eagles:

Hey Philly, win this one going away so that you can rest a shit ton of starters next week vs the Giants. Thanks, appreciated.

Panthers/Bucs:

I heard somewhere that Carolina has the 3rd best run D over the last four weeks so you fantasy guys might want to think twice about playing Fourny or White.

Browns/Commies:

Carson Wentz tries yet again to be relevant. It won’t work out.

Get at it.

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TheRevanchist

I woke up this morning still drunk from last night. No hangover, but I have been pounding water to avoid a headache later, when I will start drinking again.

Gumbygirl

This is exactly why I love weed so much. It never, ever hurts me.

JustStopDude

Honky shit the Washington washingtonians are terrible at tackling.

TheRevanchist

Among other things

litre_cola

That is a complete bullshit call in the Iggles game.

jjfozz

The NFL is softer than 4 ply toilet paper. Fuck this bullshit.

jjfozz

Didn’t know this actor was also a pro QB
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Game Time Decision

Nailed it (in KC)

WCS

“Organizational and cultural issues” at the Commies is like saying NASA was “a little rash” when launching Challenger in 1986.

Game Time Decision

NASA was able to learn from the mistakes. Awful that the astronauts paid the price for it

No learnin in Washington

Last edited 1 year ago by Game Time Decision
TheRevanchist

If the giants want mediocrity, they can have it.

jjfozz

I’m not hung over, but feel like shit since i now have a head cold. luckily i’m two bloody mary’s deep.

litre_cola

Do you put Old Bay in them?

jjfozz

Used Old Bay bloody mary mix, which is very good.

Game Time Decision

That would be great with beer, as a kinda shandy

WCS

TheShaun is still awful at…

/ checks notes

everything.

King Hippo

Don’t feel too bad for him, he still has his giant penis.

Col. Duke LaCross

Thibodeaux doing snow angels next to his battered corpse was maybe not the greatest look.

JustStopDude

I’m not sure about anyone else, but I am ecstatic that my team has destroyed it’s future and made a serial sex offender one of the richest QB’s in history, for this level of performance.

Illegal touching. At this point Watson is fucking trolling the fan base.

litre_cola

Maaaan, has Gamblor forsaken me. Plus Iggles will lose homefield, book it.

Horatio Cornblower

I’m sorry, is ’80 For Brady’ an actual real thing that is happening?

King Hippo

Add 107 pls

TheRevanchist

I’m so watching 80 For Brady. Gilfs.

Mr. Ayo

Dead Coach Bounce, WOO!

King Hippo

I am indeed looking for me bandana JUST IN CASE

Horatio Cornblower

/rolls into clubhouse.

Hey. Is it 2024 yet?

King Hippo

“I lost my family for this shit!”

You sure did, MRSA Dreamboat. You sure did!

TheRevanchist

Looking at the stats, Wentz is 2/8 with 2 INTs? How is still in that game?

Game Time Decision

That’s still 50% of the passes made
/trying to be optimistic

King Hippo

Donks avoided the clean sheet, 2023 achievement UNLOCKED

Spur

Boo Birds are coming in Philly. another 3 and out. Get your batteries ready.

King Hippo

#NuAIDS meme has made it to the bigtime!!

Spur

I wonder what makes her an “expert”?

King Hippo

wares glasses so u noe she’s SMRT suck it libtard!!!

Game Time Decision

She’s obviously an NFL concussion expert, which is totes applicable to infectious diseases

Horatio Cornblower

“The German data”

I somehow doubt this is the only questionable thing from Germany she admires.

litre_cola

Breakfast wine time. Let’s goooo.

BC Dick

Good plan. I’ve had some wake-up whisky to start the day

litre_cola

Happy birthday big guy!!!

Gumbygirl

Is it your birthday?

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BC Dick

It is. Entering the early late thirties today

Gumbygirl

Sooo…37? 38?

King Hippo

#ThePauls. New Year, Same Pauling.

WCS

Me

Far too chipper co-worker: GOT ANY NEW YEARS RESOLUTIONS

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Game Time Decision

My resolution is to not make resolutions

King Hippo

I have kept that resolution since making it (like 15-20 years ago)

Spur

That could also be me, a morning person, working East Coast hours from the West Coast – asking my coworkers for status update by 8am PST.

King Hippo

I always giggle at “gap integrity” because I am basically 12 years old.

Rikki-Tikki-Deadly

I’m having fun imagining the negotiations that took place as Little Caesars courted an endorsement from Matt Stafford.

WCS

He studied Andy Reid’s negotiation tactics well in prep.

King Hippo

The 2023 Legend of White Mac

Spur

TD Saints
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Spur

more dead birds for Philly.

Col. Duke LaCross

Happy New Year! HTFYDB!?

Me, I just spent a week in New York holed up in a bedroom in the future in-laws house due to a brutal case of travel flu. The most wonderful time of the year, indeed.

litre_cola

Is it sad that I knew what that acronym is immediately or that I said it in my head in a Rex Ryan voice?

Flu sucks, I like my quite like my inlaws so that indeed sucks.

King Hippo

FREE HUEY!!

WCS

My parents are continuing the Yinzer New Years “tradition” of making their entire house smell like vinegar and cabbage for a week with the annual pork ‘n kraut.

They do this EVERY. BLOODY. YEAR. and have since… there were married? They don’t actually enjoy eating pork and sauerkraut, but do this, anyway.

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Game Time Decision

Then why do it

litre_cola

IT IS TRADITION DAMMIT!

BugEyedBoo

Both my family and my wife’s family have that pork/kraut tradition. You have to eat some cabbage, even if it’s one forkful of it.

Gumbygirl

I have mine in the slow cooker as we speak, but we both love it!

yeah right

While I’m usually a traditionalist and do the black eyed peas thing for new year I’m changing it up slightly.

I’ve got a big ass ham bone leftover from Thanksgiving. Same ham that son in law smoked over hickory.

I’m making a pot of Lima (butter) beans and cornbread today. Think I’ll make it a jalapeno Jack cheese cornbread.

Tell you what. I’ll try and document it and you can read all about it in a few weeks.

litre_cola

Recipe for that cornbread pls. Either here or on Slack.

Col. Duke LaCross

Here please?

yeah right

Cup of cornmeal.
Cup of AP flour
1/4 cup of sugar
1 tablespoon of salt
1 tablespoon of baking powder
1 cup of whole milk
1/3 cup of oil
1 egg beaten
Some sliced pickled jalapenos
Some sharp cheese

Combine dry ingredients.
Combine wet ingredients.

Mix together.
Add in your minced jalapenos and pour into a baking dish.
Insert dots of the cheese throughout the batter.

Bake in a 400 degree oven for 20-24 minutes.
Cut into chunks and serve hot with butter.

litre_cola

Good man.

Gumbygirl

Amen.

Gumbygirl

I did the hoppin john and greens last night. Best greens evah! Cornbread, of course.

WCS

I want coffee, but, I don’t want to get up. Little help?

Game Time Decision

You don’t have to be standing to make coffee. And do you really want any of us making coffee for you. YR excluded, of course

Fronkenshteen

Well, I can’t believe I’m saying this, but I guess I’m going to watch the Washington game. On purpose.

King Hippo

whoa now, let’s not say shit we might regret tomorrow!!

Petronel

I’m with ya Fronk, in part because at least it isn’t Clots/Gints.

WCS

I’m just here for the chaos not to get fined.

yeah right

And happy New Year everybody!

litre_cola

Right back atcha food guy!

yeah right

I hope the Saints beat the piss out of Philly and fingers crossed my own team knocks Q-aaron the fuck out of the playoffs. Last chance for home field throughout.

It’s a simple dream but a powerful one.

litre_cola

While I side with you on Q-Aron taek, I do have Minshew mania and can’t side with your Iggles taek.

yeah right

The only realistic chance the Vikings have is staying home hence.

King Hippo

Please just feed Justin Jefferson like Western Civilization depends on it. HIPPO NEEDS.

Doktor Zymm

Happy 7*17^2 y’all! I’m at DFW, and will likely be in the air for the early games, but doesn’t look like I’m missing much. Cheers!

Game Time Decision

Fuck math today? Way to early to be trying to figure out brackets and exponents, so gonna guess that the limit does not exist

King Hippo

Robins Hood down to Chelski. Feels gross cheering for the big baddie, but Evertonian Needs Must.

litre_cola

Understandable but still,

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Doktor Zymm

That’s how you make lingonberry jam!

BrettFavresColonoscopy

I thought you had to give the lingonberries some guitars and mics for that

Doktor Zymm

That’s lingonberry jamz, common mistake

litre_cola

I thought it was Jazzberry Ram.

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=l2rt_dvcMTs

ballsofsteelandfury

My first significant accomplishment of 2023 has been to take a shit. The year is looking pretty good so far.

King Hippo

#MeToo

Game Time Decision

Went for a jog and made breakfast (steel cut oats) for the week. Next up is fuck around on my tablet until RedZone starts

King Hippo

What a Spursy start to 2023. I imagine Yid Army Reacts Reasonably

BrettFavresColonoscopy

Howdy howdy. Feeling pretty good over here, and I have a new (old) cocktail added to my repertoire.

Rikki-Tikki-Deadly

This story just keeps getting better and better:

<blockquote class=”twitter-tweet”><p lang=”en” dir=”ltr”>Tampa Police Interim Chief Lee Bercaw has named Bucs QB Blaine Gabbert an honorary member of the Tampa Police Marine Patrol after he and his brothers saved four people from a helicopter crash on Thursday.<br> <a href=”https://t.co/B2jYyYHlxQ”>pic.twitter.com/B2jYyYHlxQ</a></p>&mdash; Front Office Sports (@FOS) <a href=”https://twitter.com/FOS/status/1608888746719727617?ref_src=twsrc%5Etfw”>December 30, 2022</a></blockquote> <script async src=”https://platform.twitter.com/widgets.js” charset=”utf-8″></script>

Rikki-Tikki-Deadly

WHY WON’T YOU EMBED TWEETS, DFO SERVER? WHY?

https://mobile.twitter.com/FOS/status/1608888746719727617

WCS

THE FLOW RETURNS

King Hippo

Bring me The Flow! – EMS coordinator

King Hippo

Awake, not even hungover WOO!!!

Serious question – Charmslinger, Ridder, or Huntley for the shempionship de los fantasia?

Not only did this team MAKE IT to the final (as Patrick Star rightly roasted my starting QB), but also was somehow 11-3 in the regular season.

Streaming appearances made by Red Rocket and Fatthew earlier in the season. QB4 is then and now Matty Ice (waivers frozen for playoffs). I haven’t been so much as competent at the position even ONCE.

Rikki-Tikki-Deadly

Not hungover is a wonderful way to start a new year, I’m told.

King Hippo

I wish I remembered which comic it was, but he had a great bit about holidays bringing back precious childhood memories. Like long walks with Dad, trying to find the car.

WCS

Good morning. Haven’t seen yinz since last year.

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herodotus450

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