Balls of Steel’s AFL Beat – Round 13

Ok, so since there are only 6 games this weekend, that means I should be able to get the AFL posted at the regular time, right? Well….

Welcome to Balls of Steel’s AFL Beat!

We do our best around here, that’s all I can say.  Let’s get right to the action!  This is the first of the Rounds with Byes, so the Adelaide Crows, Carlton Blues, Collingwood Magpies, Gold Coast Suns, Richmond Tigers, and the St. Kilda Saints all get a rest.  Ironic that this is the Round where Dok Zymm decided to stay up late and start watching again.  The first game of the Round, the now traditional Friday Night Footy (Friday morning in North America) game was back showing decent teams as the #1 North Melbourne Kangaroos took on the reigning champions Hawthorn Hawks.  After losing to Geelong last week and to Sydney two weeks before, another loss would seriously question their premiership credentials/hopes.

Well,

I’d advise Sunrisesunrise to keep his SHINBONER spirit UP!  That’s really all you can do after the Kangaroos went down to the Hawks by 9.  Here is a perfect example of why the AFL is much better than soccer:

Mofo tried to bait the referee into calling a free kick to get the ball back.  Nice to see that the ref 1) got the right call, 2) communicated clearly to the players, and 2) had other umpires available to reinforce his call.

On proper Friday night, the first game was an expected blowout of the Brisbane Lions by the visiting West Coast Eagles.  Lately, the Lions’ pattern is to start out playing well and then to fade out during the course of the game.  This time, the fadeout happened after the first quarter as the Eagles soared (I’m sorry) past the Lions and ended up winning by a score of 131-82. Have I mentioned that I LOVE alliteration?

No, this is not a highlight of the NBA finals, despite the video’s title:

Apparently, a “bag” is a large amount of goals.

Later that night, Fremantle took on the Power at home.  Even though they have sucked more ass this year than (/does a Google search, //hard drive crashes, ///has to reboot) this, the Dockers have traditionally been strong at home.  This time was no different as they won AGAIN!  The final score was 86-69.  Nice!

Port started out very well

like really well

but the Dockers took the game over in the third.  Sometimes, it’s just your day:

The last game on North American Friday Night had the Geelong Cats playing the Western Bulldogs in the other marquee matchup of the Round. I watched the entire thing and was nicely rewarded with a tremendous 100-43 Cat victory.  This, combined with North’s loss to the Hawks, vaulted the Cats to the top of the ladder!  The Cats’ Daniel Menzel set the tone early:

and often:

while the rest of the team got in on the action:

and even the umpires helped out:

Let me just clear a couple of things up:  1)  The only thing that matters is if the ball is completely outside of the line so it was the right call.  2) I will include any highlight that has delicious wordplay like this one.

***

This

is normally where I introduce you to a new AFL footballer.  Instead, I would like to use this space to show the stark difference between AFL CEO Gillon McLachlan and Roger Goodell.  On the eve of last Round’s Monday Night Footy game, which doubled as a fundraiser for motor neurone disease, the chairman of Collingwood made a joke on a major Australian radio station about drowning a female journalist.  To give you some context, the fundraiser consisted of celebrities going down a slide into a pool of ice water:

The backlash was instantaneous and Gillon issued a strong statement against it.  From the AFL website:

Do you picture Goodell ever putting anything like that out?  To top it off, the Richmond Tigers’ players were so offended by the radio station that aired those comments without issuing a subsequent apology that they decided to boycott it.  What did Gillon do?  He SUPPORTED THEM!

Do you see Goodell ever doing that?!?  Fuck and No.  Reason # 8901 that the AFL is run better than the NFL.

***

There were only two games on North American Saturday night and they were both mismatches on paper.  The Sydney Swans hosted the Melbourne Demons while the GWS Giants traveled to take on Essendon at the Etihad.  The weather was horrid in Sydney, which made the score closer than it otherwise would have been.  As it is, the 86-31 margin was pretty impressive. In the nightcap, the Giants took care of the tough and scrappy Bombers, but only by pulling away during the fourth.  The final score was 117-90.  Here are some highlights of both games:

I REALLY miss playing in the rain!

Orazio Fantasia may just be my new favorite player.

750 career goals.  That’s amazing!  Let’s take a look at the ladder, shall we?

Due to the byes, it’s a little difficult to read anything into the standings.  The only thing I know is that it’s nice to be at the top. Even if it’s only temporary.

Here is next week’s schedule:

Thursday June 23

Adelaide v North Melbourne at Adelaide Oval (2.50 AM)

Friday June 24

Collingwood v Fremantle at MCG (2.50 AM)

Richmond v Brisbane Lions at MCG (8.40pm)

GWS Giants v Carlton at Spotless Stadium (11.35pm)

Saturday June 25

St Kilda v Geelong at Etihad Stadium (2.25 AM)

Hawthorn v Gold Coast Suns at Aurora Stadium (10.20pm)

Byes: Essendon, Melbourne, Port Adelaide, Sydney Swans, West Coast Eagles and Western Bulldogs

Whoa, there’s a Thursday game now?!?  WTF?  Shit, work’s going to be a bitch this week!  Oh well.

Let’s check in to see how our Footy Tipping Contest is going!

I thought I did pretty well and then I saw that WhyEaglesWhy AND Litre_cola both got within ONE!  Damn good job, boys!

Don’t forget to PUT THE TIP IN!

Enjoy the games!