This weeks’ draft comes from Scotchnaut, a frequent contributor to these topics and local hobo control. The less said about the latter the better I suppose, but as to the former he’s got a solid topic this week, so here we go.
This week we’re picking players or coaches that you love to root against. We did something similar last year with schadenfreude for teams, but in this version we’re not doing teams, and there’s no specific instance of the individual losing necessary.
No real restrictions on this one, if there was a guy in Little League you hated go right ahead and pick them. We’re big fans of petty here. Unless your pick is Richard Petty, (can’t be Kyle Petty; guy never won anything), in which case you go right ahead and pick him.
Scotchy came up with the topic, so he gets the first pick. Fortunately he already gave me his pick so I don’t have to worry about his never checking his DMs, (probably because he had to pull the battery out of his phone so as to keep his whereabouts from those busybody authorities), and I can therefore report from Scotchy: “My example would be Pat Ewing at Georgetown-hated that team, hated that guy but loved watching college ball back then so I’d watch him and hoped he’d fuck up.” 
With the second pick I’ll take the ol’ nose-picker himself, Jimmy Boeheim. 
Look, Boeheim is a Hall-of-Fame coach. Literally. I used to hate him because Syracuse would always whip up on UConn, then UConn got good and Syracuse stayed good, so I hated him because there was a rivalry, with real consequences to every game. That’s good sports hate. Now I want Boeheim to fail because he’s an arrogant ass who has stayed well past his expiration date, who backstabs players not named Boeheim, and who storms out of press conferences when asked perfectly legitimate questions. Watching them lose by 20, (and it wasn’t that close), to Georgia Tech, as GT rained threes over Jim’s beloved zone, was truly a good time.
I love watching Boeheim fail, and as a Uconn fan I hope he never retires.
The rest of you are on the clock. Ten picks or 30 minutes, and beware the witching hour.
While we are on tennis…Andre Agassi. Oooooh, look how edgy and special I am. Boycotting Wimbledon because they won’t let me wear jorts. Fucking douchebag.
Not drafting him yet but Ja Morant is moving up the board.
(Just saw “Ja Warrant” and “Ja Wick” on Twitter and that’s just fine)
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=lHUpK6Iq1DM
A two-fer
Cutting in line, LIKE A FUCKING LADY
I’ve got such a hate-on, there’s no stopping this train!
Jesus Christ, is Curt Schilling still available? We need to up our game if he is! Total scumbag.
Good late-round value, mujch better value than Rhode Island got.
Pick of the draft
I mean, if we’re having a run on scumbag college coaches, I’ll take Rick Pitino….out back to lock him in a shed so he can think about what he’s done.
Gumby picks John Caliapari, or however it’s spelled.
Oh, then I get Roy Williams. If memory serves he said he had it tougher than the Haitians who had just suffered through a devastating earthquake. The cherry on top of the shitcake was that he said this while getting a massage!
/no, not that kind
I’m going with the ex-coach of the Ohio State wrestling program. Y’know, the one who buried accusations and covered up the pedophilia and sexual abuse by the team doctor. What an utter shitbag.
Oh, from Ohio. I lose track of Republican Speakers of the House who are tied to grooming high school and collegiate wrestlers. But, hey, NO DRAG SHOWS CUZ KIDS.
Look, you sign up for high school wrestling, you know your butthole is getting fingered. ASSUMPTION OF RISK.
Orenthal James Simpson.
Oh, he was a delight to watch on the Bills? Fine then rooting against him in every celebrity golf tournament since he murdered two people.
And let the Norm McDonald clips start being unleashed.
I blame USC.
I don’t think it’s fair to blame USC for failing to teach him right from wrong; everyone knows they don’t teach anyone anything there, and never have.
University of Spoiled/Stabby Children.
Novak Djokovich. Fucking asshole extrordinaire.
We are going to roll the dice and see if we can get cheap seats for Indian Wells, maybe I’ll get to boo him personally!
Did they give him a waiver?
Yeah, he’s got to get into the country, and I don’t think having his old man running around the Aussie Open with a ‘Z’ t-shirt is likely to help the application process.
I just read something that sez he withdrew from the tourney yesterday.
Good. Fuck that guy.
I don’t suppose we can pick somebody who didn’t ever actually own a team, but wanted to and was so loathesome that the other owners prevented him from acquiring a team, can we?
…asking for a friend
I think anyone is on the table. A pulse is even optional, as Insurrection Barbie down there proves.
it was supposed to be players and coaches only, but that ship has long since sailed out of the harbor.
Is Jim Harbaugh on the board? If so, him.
He reacts to every failure with the same maturity as a three-year old having a temper tantrum. He reacts to every success like he’s an insufferable genius.
When Michigan broke their losing streak against Ohio State, for a second, a part of me felt good for Michigan and their fans. It’s a great feeling when you finally leave the cellar and feel the sunlight on your face.
Then it cut to Harbaugh acting like he parted the Red Sea and as if the last five years didn’t count, and the feeling went away.
David Ortiz is still on the board? Yoink.
Pete Rose-he thought he could bullshit his way through the gambling scandal because he’s Pete Fucking Rose. He lied all the way through it, got tossed and now is sentenced to an eternity of card-signing conventions just to pay the bills. Sweet!
This! If he said, I did it and I need help, he’s only out a year or two.
His competitive nature cost him.
What’re the odds he gets in posthumously?
4th:
Obviously we can’t punish parents for their children’s transgressions. But if the parent decides to double down on her braindead white trash child who never had a chance because she has a bad mother, well…..that’s exactly the kind of enemy frome which I swore to defend this country.
I’d take her even lower but I don’t want HUNTER BIDEN to draft her for the Ukrainian Military.
Pro tip: She is not JUST braindead.
Also, I think this pick is ok since insurrectioning is a sport
I don’t care about sports. Competition is life.
Which is why Ashlyi Babbit can no longer participate in competition.