Author: The Maestro

This Week In Violence! Presents SlamBall

The Maestro -
5

Well, folks, after 15 weeks, it's getting almost impossible to keep finding material that meets our necessary violence and obscurity requirements to write about. So as such, I'll be wrapping up This Week In Violence! with a bang as we finally return home stateside to check out a sport that never

This Week In Violence! Presents Pitz

The Maestro -
41

I'm breaking one of my rules this week: this edition of This Week In Violence! explores a sport that is no longer practised anymore. I'd say this is a shame, except the reality now is that recruiting top athletes would probably be quite difficult, considering the whole, y'know, extremely regular death thing.

This Week In Violence! Presents The Eton Wall Game

The Maestro -
9

My father went to private school. I did not. It's a completely foreign environment to me, particularly now as a public school teacher. One thing I do know about private school, however, beyond the stereotypical throwback uniforms, strict rules, and such, is that many have incredibly long-running traditions that are

This Week In Violence! Presents Water Jousting

The Maestro -
24

Game of Thrones has been back for two weeks. I've been stoked as hell about it. Obviously the fantasy elements - the dragons, White Walkers, blood magic, etc.  - are the most fun elements of the show, but there's something to be said for the entertainment value from knights, horses,

This Week In Violence! Presents Yağlı Güreş

The Maestro -
6

Oil wrestling! We've probably all dreamed about witnessing this in a certain manner... at least perhaps in the manner suggested by B-comedies and gentlemen's magazines. And while this is perhaps fun, and most certainly entertaining for the heterosexual male demographic, in Turkey, oil wrestling is in fact a time-honoured tradition

This Week In Violence! Presents Shin-Kicking

The Maestro -
527

I'll never forget the chemistry prof I had for the one science class I was required to take in my freshman year of college. "Yes, I'm from Wales. Where men are men, and sheep are nervous." I never did particularly well in that class, but I did enjoy coming to lectures. That

This Week In Violence! Presents Kotta Pora

The Maestro -
9

Pillow fights! The domain of children and unreasonably attractive sorority sisters in underwear, right? That's what society has led us to believe up to now, at any rate. The truth is this: pillow fights are not any one person's exclusive domain. Indeed, I had not realized until recently that they're

This Week In Violence! Presents Ki-o-rahi

The Maestro -
12

New Zealand - two islands full of sheep, mountains, kiwi birds and fruits, hobbits, and especially rugby. The All-Blacks' legendary Haka chant strikes fear and wonder into opponents and crowds all over the world. Indeed, the culture of rugby in New Zealand may stem from well beyond when the first

This Week In Violence! Presents Cheese-Rolling

The Maestro -
7

The English are well known for their absurdist sense of humour. From Monty Python to Mr. Bean to even Parliament itself, the weird and surreal come out in so many aspects of everyday life in the United Kingdom. Thus, it comes with absolutely zero surprise that amongst all the slapstick

This Week In Violence! Presents Buzkashi

The Maestro -
15

When you think about polo, what do you think about? Pretentious wankers in jodhpurs? Giant-sized croquet mallets? The most bland, reserved crowds ever? Overall, polo as we know it is reserved almost exclusively for the wealthy elites of the United Kingdom and the northeastern United States and as well in

This Week In Violence! Presents Calcio Storico

The Maestro -
12

Ah, Italy. A country of romance, wine, food, art, history, and culture! Such a refined, sophisticated place to live. Why on earth would such a place have a need for such silly, brutish things as competitive sports, right? Well, turns out that not only do they do all those previously-mentioned things