Meat loaf.

What do those two words conjure in your brain? Everyone’s life experiences will vary of course but my original meat loaf connotation wasn’t always good. I hate to bash on my dear departed Ma again – she actually was a good cook and God bless her for feeding four boys all born in successive years who were fucking monsters that totally destroyed any food substances put in front of them- but her meat loaf was, how should I delicately put this? Shitty. She was a working woman and I get the time constraints involved but holy hell, Ma! Her biggest issue was she would grab some hamburger, a couple of slices of white bread, some eggs, a chopped raw onion, maybe a carrot and she would cover the top with ketchup or tomato sauce. I was so impressed by her culinary meat loaf expertise that when the rest of the family had meat loaf, she would make me a couple of hot dogs. I was a little finicky shit when I was growing up and being the youngest, my Ma had already grown tired of trying to battle me at meal time. I was a little asshole.

So, Meat loaf. My brother, famous L.A. radio guy brother and I decided to do a Throw Down, Chopped kind of competition. With the main subject being meat loaf. I’ve learned over the years to transform my early childhood trauma about meat loaf and I’ve adapted and overcame. I’ve managed to find my inner meat loaf. The great thing about meat loaf is you can do whatever you want with it. Spicy? Sure! Why Not. Italian? Che era deliziosa! Cheesy meat loaf? <drools>. Make it your own.

Ready, kids?

Hell yes, let’s make some meat loaf.

You will need:

1 lb 85-15 ground beef. The 85-15 is the meat to fat ratio. You can use leaner meat but it will make for a tougher meat loaf and you can use a fattier meat that will have the danger of overflowing your cooking vessel and turning your oven into a goddamn grease pit.

1/2 lb ground pork.

1/2 onion, minced.

1 carrot minced.

3 cloves of garlic, fine minced.

1 cup of bread crumbs, I use panko but you can use what the fuck ever. Even old white bread!

1/4 to 1/2 cup of grated or shaved parmesan cheese.

2 eggs.

a splash of milk

Salt.

Freshly ground black pepper.

1/2 tsp thyme.

A couple of leaves of fresh basil and a couple of leaves of fresh oregano minced very fine.

For the glaze:

3/4 cup of barbecue sauce – I use Sweet Baby Ray’s Original.

1/4 cup of ketchup.

1 tbl brown sugar.

1 tbl balsamic vinegar.

1 small squirt of Sriracha (oh yes I did).

Saute the minced carrots and onion in a mix of vegetable and olive oils. Saute for about 10 minutes. Toss in the garlic and turn the heat off. Mix the meats along with the sauteed veggies, herbs, eggs, breadcrumbs and parmesan cheese and season with salt and pepper. Form into a meat loaf looking loaf.

In a small bowl mix the glaze ingredients together. Baste the top of the meat loaf with some glaze. Reserve some because we will baste 2-3 times during the cooking process.

In a 350 degree oven cook the meat loaf for about an hour. Baste every 20-30 minutes to form a nice glaze.

I made some mashed potatoes and we had some garden peas with onion and a little bacon. Did I get to use my bad motherfucking Kitchenaid mixer to make the mashed potatoes. HELL YES I DID!

The Throw Down!

The bro made his own version of the meat loaf. Since this is my post and not his I can’t give the recipe. I think we used the same meat ratios and the same onion, carrot saute but I’m pretty sure he snuck some bacon in there. Sneaky little bastard. He didn’t use a glaze so his meat loaf developed a nice browned crust.

He also went old school by making potato buds which I thought was a really cool touch. Since he did the old school thing he gets the cold frosty Budweiser in his photo.

Now as for me! Of course I boiled and made my own mashed potatoes. I also added all of the non-traditional ingredients to mine like the fresh herbs, the parmesan and the glaze with the balsamic. Therefore my picture gets the Sculpin IPA in the photo.

Verdict? I’m going to wimp out and not proclaim a real victor here. The Bro totally redeemed Ma’s old school meat loaf/ Potato Bud thing. The crust was glorious and it worked really well with a nice icy cold Budweiser.

As for mine. I ain’t going there.

Yes I will. The saute really makes the whole thing work. The fresh herbs are pretty much a must. The glaze is sticky gooey glorious goodness. What I would do with leftovers is: slice a couple of slabs of the leftover meat loaf, cook in a skillet that has some melted butter, build a crust and serve on toasted bread.

Meat loaf has no reason to be shunned by society anymore. Make it your own. That’s the beauty of it. It is probably one of the most customizable dishes there are. Be inventive. Be creative. Whatever you do, don’t let that whiny little shit eat hot dogs when you made meat loaf. Little asshole.