Your 2024 Cincinnati Bengals Preview: Raising the Bar on Mediocrity

Team Previews

Redshirt - August 13, 2024August 13, 2024

It's that time of the year again. Summer is in full spring. The stores are in Back-to-School Sale mode. Politicians suddenly give a flying fornication about the people they represent. But most importantly, its time for the DFO Team Previews. And like Freeform must give way to the 700 Club,

2023 Cincinnati Bengals Preview: Quarantined from the Promised Land

Team Previews

Redshirt - August 15, 2023August 9, 2023

Then the Lord said to him, “This is the land I promised on oath to Abraham, Isaac and Jacob when I said, ‘I will give it to your descendants.’ I have let you see it with your eyes, but you will not cross over into it.” - Deuteronomy 34:4 I hear you

Your 2019 Bengals Bye Week Update or “How I Learned to Stop Worrying and Love the Loss”

DFOing Good

Redshirt - October 29, 2019October 28, 2019

Well. What can I say? What can anyone say? This is one of the worst seasons in the history of the Cincinnati Bengals. The maddening thing is that with talent, this isn't a 0-8 team. Not even close! Even with an Offensive Line who look less like blockers and more

Your “Unquinquagintuplely Uniquely Unknown” 2019 Cincinnati Bengals Preview

Team Previews

Redshirt - August 6, 2019August 6, 2019

It’s almost that time of year, when football returns and we get salvation from our family, baseball and sobriety. And in that tradition comes a DFO Tradition where the Powers That Be grant me rare read-write access to the controls at DFO Central to talk about the Bengals. Sadly, my

Your 2018 Bengals Preview: Re-Defining Insanity – One Year At a Time

Redshirt - August 7, 2018August 6, 2018

Last time we saw the Cincinnati Bengals, they were finishing a disappointing season strong by defeating the Baltimore Ravens, letting fellow down-on-their-luck franchise Buffalo Bills back into the playoffs after an absence of just under two decades. After receiving the joys and adulations of a grateful Buffalo Bills team and

Hope Clicks Eternal – The Cincinnati Bengals

Beerguyrob - December 7, 2017December 6, 2017

Sweet, sweet hatred - I found you at last. For as long as I have been torturing myself (and you) with these articles, I had yet to find concrete examples of undiluted anger. Sure, there were a few armchair patriots who got their say in during the early days of the

Bengals Bye Week – God’s Merciful Reprieve

Bye Week Updates

Redshirt - October 17, 2017October 16, 2017

Well, it's the bye week for the Cincinnati Bengals and I've been asked to write something up for my team. I could do an homage to a classic radio broadcast that beloved retired radio broadcaster Gary Burbank used to do, but unfortunately, TV, video games and all the lead in

2017 Cincinnati Bengals Preview – Fool’s Golden Anniversary Edition

Team Previews

Redshirt - August 14, 2017August 14, 2017

That’s right! This is the 50th year of the Cincinnati Bengals and Mike Brown is putting off all the stops by putting an ugly patch on the jerseys. And that’s pretty much it. A patch on their current uniforms. They can’t go throwback due to NFL rules about changing helmets

Start Or Sit (On Your Face): The DFO Fantasy/Sex Mailbag

The Maestro - January 22, 2016January 22, 2016

As excited as I am for this weekend's games, no matter how you slice and dice it, there's going to be a nuclear-level amount of hot takes to be floating around the web come Monday morning. I can see them now already, and I'm dreading it: If the Panthers lose: "CAM

Start Or Sit (On Your Face): The DFO Fantasy/Sex Mailbag

The Maestro - October 30, 2015

Halloween! A time where we actively permit children to work towards developing juvenile diabetes and/or lifelong psychological trauma, while we get inappropriately drunk and develop some incredibly fucked-up fetishes from costumes that were never intended to be sexy, but still somehow are. Also, Satanists or something. I dunno. At any