Tag: HRTN

Hard Ride To Nowhere (Chapter 37)

Beastmode Ate My Baby -
32

The scene: A jail cell in the depths of the base on the dreaded island of Professor Po. The three DFOers being held captive by him are in it. King Hippo is testing his considerable might against the steel bars, frowning in vexation at their unyielding strength. Covalent Blonde

Hard Ride To Nowhere (Chapter 36)

Beastmode Ate My Baby -
24

The scene: A beach on the Jungle Island of Professor Po. Doktor Zymm's yuuuuge RV drives up onto the sand out of the ocean. [DOOR FLIES OPEN] Doktor Zymm (stepping out of the RV): Vell, zis vas a bit of zerendipity. Otto's Brain (bouncing down the steps after Zymm): Sure was! Finding

Hard Ride To Nowhere (Chapter 35)

Beastmode Ate My Baby -
71

The scene: An island jungle. Covalent Blonde is running through the foliage, carrying Yeah Right piggyback, with King Hippo lumbering behind. King Hippo: Keep running, you guys! They're gettin' closer! Covalent Blonde: We could be going faster, if I didn't have to carry Wounded Knee here. Yeah Right: I

Hard Ride To Nowhere (Chapter 34)

Beastmode Ate My Baby -
26

The scene: Under the Pacific, where Doktor Zymm's yuuuge RV rolls across the ocean floor. Inside, the DFOers are as yet unaware of their underwater journey, as they descend the stairs from the RV's upper level. Doktor Zymm: I must zay...a mazzage ist just vat I needed. I did

Hard Ride To Nowhere (Chapter 33)

Beastmode Ate My Baby -
18

The scene: Key West, Florida. Tourists and passers-by line the street, walking along casually. It's just another quiet afternoon...until the pedestrians begin screaming and scatter in all directions. Seconds later a bright green Prius that has definitely seen better days comes tearing through the intersection, barely missing a vegan hot

Hard Ride To Nowhere (Chapter 31)

Beastmode Ate My Baby -
58

The scene: Inside the green Prius, where Wolfman Rob is driving like a madman with Ballsofsteelandfury and Low Commander of the Super Soldiers in the backseat, hanging on for dear life. Mabel is of course riding shotgun. Wolfman Rob: ARROOOOOO!!! Damn, boys, you'd better be glad I got you out

Hard Ride To Nowhere (Chapter 29)

Beastmode Ate My Baby -
30

The scene: The DFO clubhouse, where there is a meeting of the membership under way. Darkest Timeline Zach Morris sits at the head of the table, with the others seated around the table. In attendance are WCS, Beerguyrob, Brocky, JJ Fozz, Ballsofsteelandfury, Rikki-Tikki-Deadly and Lord Revisisle. Attending via Skype

Hard Ride To Nowhere (Chapter 28.5)

Beastmode Ate My Baby -
14

The scene: Downtown, in a traffic jam. Brocky is sitting impatiently in his car, listening to the 2016 NFL Draft Day 2 pre-show. Brocky (honking his horn): Come on...come on... Radio Announcer: And we're only minutes away from the first pick of day 2! Brocky: Aw, man! I missed the big shindig

Hard Ride To Nowhere Draft Day Special

Beastmode Ate My Baby -
22

The scene: A used car lot in Key West, where Future Moose, Old School Zero and Marc Trestmans Windowless Van are perusing the inventory. OSZ: I dunno, guys...I'm not seeing anything really fuel-efficient here. Future Moose (checking out a 1977 Chevy van with a wizard painted on the side): This might

Hard Ride To Nowhere (Chapter 28)

Beastmode Ate My Baby -
18

The scene: The creepy basement where the Angry Girl Scout is holding Ballsofsteelandfury, Lord Revisisle, JJ Fozz and Rikki-Tikki-Deadly captive. She has just conjured a fearsome entity called Cookiethulhu, and it stands looming over her, wrapped in mystic smoke. JJ Fozz: Good...lord... Rikki-Tikki-Deadly (inhaling the smoke): He smells like...freshly-baked oatmeal cookies! Ballsofsteelandfury (also