As I was sitting in the shower this morning (don’t ask), a thought came to my head: You know, since Unsilent left KSK, we really don’t have anyone to give us terrible gambling advice!
Well, into the void I go! (Phrasing!) Balls deep into the world of pseudo-legal Internet gambling!
One of the things I’ve always thought was a mistake in these type of columns/posts was the tendency for the writer to pick every game. That’s stupid. No gambler does that.
Instead, I will hand-select games each week and keep track of the bankroll so you know exactly how shitty my picks are! I’ll start out with a bankroll of $200 (reasonable for a normal person that doesn’t have a Saturday morning/Sunday morning radio show) and go from there.
I’d like to use the lines from just one place to ensure consistency. I may or may not have had at some point an account with an offshore sportsbook, but I will take suggestions in the comments as to whose lines to follow.
I’d like for each of you to weigh in with your picks and, if you’re interested, I can add them to the post prior to publishing. We could even have a handicapping contest, if you’re #UpforIt.
Since real meaningful games are still a month away, I will leave you with Reason #2843 the AFL is better than the NFL. The video below is posted on the AFL website and sponsored by an online sportsbook! And the world didn’t end. Imagine that!
I’ll try to embed it, but in the meantime, here is a link.
I couldn’t possibly be more in favor of a handicapping contest. I may or may not have an account at an offshore betting parlor, and may or may not have been tracking my bets for three seasons. Even if we don’t have a full-blown handicapping contest, it might be cool to do a head-t0-head thing!
We can start it off with just you and me. Tell me the name of this fictional sportsbook and I’ll use their lines.
Well, it’s Bovada, but their lines are shit. They’re tilted .5 point in favor of the favorite pretty much all the time since it’s mostly squares playing there. It helps you bet underdogs if that’s your thing, but it’s not a very representative line.
Also, your banner pic is the Mirage, isn’t it? That was always my favorite sportsbook until they stopped giving out drink tickets to anyone sitting there.
All the books have stopped doing that! It sucks. Apparently, the Mirage and other Vegas books have online sites, but only Nevada residents can place bets. We could use the Mirage lines if you want.
Btw, my AFL pick this week is Dockers -28.5 over GWS.
http://40.media.tumblr.com/1f37a65d86409800c1b845b77efba60c/tumblr_nlswbiy4PU1r4ro7yo1_1280.png
Don’t make betting palatable or entertaining to me. I beg of you. I can’t go down that road again. I’ve got a wife and two or three kids!
My betting limit is a six-pack of beer among friends; winner’s choice.
I did win two cases from my Raiders fan cousin on a few Broncos games and I won a case on the 1977 Super Bowl from a dye hard Broncos fan, but other than that it’s about even.
No interest in this type, but still enjoy Balls doing it.
http://36.media.tumblr.com/950f85f6d8acd2233da9e4be706dfda4/tumblr_noeix8Q7OA1qfbon7o1_1280.jpg
There are so many things right with that picture and caption.
If you do college football, always bet against Notre Dame. Their fans are optimistic enough to move the line to something favorable for the unbiased gambler.
This is solid advice. I am still kicking myself for not taking out a second mortgage on my house to bet on Alabama in that “title” game a couple of years back.
Stupid, stupid, stupid.
Bud Winston and his friends that chew on old cigar stubs approve of this.
Hawthorn/Richmond at the MCG on Friday night. What’s the O/U on fan injuries?
Collingwood fans may show up just to have some fun this weekend…
Isn’t Collingwood pretty much the Cowboys of the AFL?
Their fans have a reputation…
http://hajokes.com/view/Typical-Collingwood-Supporter
Holy shit, Richmond! Well done!
So what happens when your picks are so shitty that your $200 bankroll is gone? Do we have to start lending money to you and asking you to get some help?
If I lose the $200 before the end of the season, I will be subjected to a punishment of the kommentariat’s choice. Actually, we can put a graduated scale and the sooner I lose the money, the harsher the punishment.
OK, you are gonna feel a slight pressure…..
You say the world didn’t end, and yet Johnny Sugar gave himself the fan preview in the Prekakke.