Hi everybody! It’s Eli. I hope you’ve been having a good summer. Mine’s been pretty good. Anyhow, Coach McAdoo said that he’s getting tired of me asking too many questions about things that don’t have anything to do with football and that these are things any college graduate should already know, including the “unlettered simpletons that Ole Miss churns out”. So he gave me a homework assignment and told me to stop bothering him. He gave me eight vocabulary words to learn, and to help me remember them he told me each one represents a “stereotype” (another new word – training camp is HARD) of the fans of teams from the AFC North and South. But I got so caught up playing Lego Jurassic World on my Playstation last night that I forgot to study! And today he gave me a quiz on them – can you help me match them up?
1. Cleveland Browns
2. Pittsburgh Steelers
3. Baltimore Ravens
4. Cincinnati Bengals
5. Indianapolis Colts
6. Houston Texans
7. Jacksonville Jaguars
8. Tennessee Titans
2. Pittsburgh Steelers
3. Baltimore Ravens
4. Cincinnati Bengals
5. Indianapolis Colts
6. Houston Texans
7. Jacksonville Jaguars
8. Tennessee Titans
A. corpulent
B. benighted
C. disconsolate
D. illusory
E. bellicose
F. supercilious
G. crestfallen
H. mislaid
B. benighted
C. disconsolate
D. illusory
E. bellicose
F. supercilious
G. crestfallen
H. mislaid
Hey man, thems editor chicks on that merrium-webster thingy are hawt!!
http://41.media.tumblr.com/527f8ed66a3105f8b9d566fc137b6158/tumblr_nsnawfB6JE1ucettco1_1280.png
I got one hindered perchance!
— Emmitt Smith
Hammock District Pilsner
THREAD JACK; Unsilent Majority sighting (via
UpworthyDeadspin): http://theconcourse.deadspin.com/19-fake-craft-beers-inspired-by-the-simpsons-ranked-1724623347If anyone deserves all the monies in the world next year, its you Big Eli!
REMUNERATION!
[edited by RTD; originally contained a number of good ideas that have been stolen for use in a future post]
Also, I wrote a song:
PENIS PENIS PENIS PENIS
PENIS PENIS PENIS PENIS
PENIS PENIS PENIS PENIS, OH, OH, OH, PENIS
COME AND ROCK ME, PENIS PENIS
[as sung to the tune of “Rock Me Amadeus” by Falco]
[edited by RTD; see above]
What, no PENIS PENIS PENIS edits? I am disappoint.
Something about PENIS and also PENIS.
[edited by RTD; originally contained ideas so laughably bad and stupid they needed to be immediately tossed into the abyss so no other human eyes ever see them]
“Hey, quit throwing your garbage down here!”
– Cthulhu
Wait, what? I never posted on this post yet
Don’t turn around. Uh oh zsa zsa. Der penis-sar’s in town uh uh oh.
/Hey, this is fun!
I have nothing of importance to add.
Back to you, Dick.
NO YOUR BELL IS COAST!!!1
Steelers fans, week 2: “Bellisclose?”
Steelers fans, week 3: “Bellistoasted.”
Hines Ward, week 17: “Blll it’s cord out.”
“Laces out, Dan!”
I got the Browns and Bengals reversed. Although disconsolate and crestfallen are both just “sad”.
Yeah, I went the way I did because I feel like one implies more of a “hopes dashed” sort of emotion. Houston and Jacksonville are somewhat interchangeable too.
They are both perfectly cromulent words for describing the whole of Ohio. I guess their minor league football team is good, though.
If you consider 8-10 and a first round exit in the Arena League good, then you’re right. If not, well… at least Cleveland went 17-1 last year before getting blown out by 40 points in the Arena Bowl. That’s better the medicore shit Tampa Bay has done since Tim Marcum (Arena football league Don Shula/Tom Landry) retired (two 7-11 seasons and two 8-10 years)
Eli, it’s a trap!
Every one of these words can be attributed to every team, because it’s the NFL and every new day sees another franchise, and its personnel, exhibit reprehensible (sorry, not good) behavior.
Good luck and have a juice box on Fozz!
http://i.imgur.com/7geuRBS.gifv
Based on what I’ve seen of the typical NFL fan I’ll take ‘corpulent’ across the board.
My original idea for this puzzle was for the answer list to be “fat” and “fat and belligerent” and “fat and subhuman”, etc.
1. A, B, C, E, F, G, H
6. D
Done! I do good? (The comic sans is a GREAT touch btw)
Why thank you! Re: the comic sans – Eli’s not the only person who learned something new this week!
Oh, also I had no idea what the word “benighted” meant until it popped up in the thesaurus.
I like to consider myself fairly literate with a decent vocabulary and I had to look up at least half of those words.
Yeah, I had to look up “Tennessee Titans” too.